
Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...

Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...

Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...

Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...

Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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<100 subscribers


Recently, I spent some time with someone who holds on to a lot of anger and frustration.
Those emotions, it seems to me, occur when there is a disconnect between how the world is and how we might like the world to be.
That is not to say we shouldn’t do anything about a given situation, but in order to constructively do something about it, we first need to accept it.
I started to imagine the things that caused me frustration and anger.
Suddenly, I noticed a strong tension in my lower jaw.
It was as if the bone was replaced by lead or some other heavy metal.
Once I felt it, I couldn’t unfeel it.
Like my shoulders when it comes to self-expectations of performance, my lower jaw seems to be the bearer of much of the feelings of frustration and anger I’ve felt over my life (and there’s been a lot).
I’ve had a lot of oral problems. A tumor in my lower jaw. All kinds of periodontal surgery. Implants on the way.
I began to wonder if there was a connection between what a person who feels and holds onto a lot of anger and frustration in his jaw and these very real physical problems.
No idea, but it doesn’t matter.
One of my teachers says, “let it go, but if you can’t let it go, can you let it be?”
When things occur that might make me angry or frustrated, I may not be able to let them go. I may not want to.
But I need to let them be.
Recently, I spent some time with someone who holds on to a lot of anger and frustration.
Those emotions, it seems to me, occur when there is a disconnect between how the world is and how we might like the world to be.
That is not to say we shouldn’t do anything about a given situation, but in order to constructively do something about it, we first need to accept it.
I started to imagine the things that caused me frustration and anger.
Suddenly, I noticed a strong tension in my lower jaw.
It was as if the bone was replaced by lead or some other heavy metal.
Once I felt it, I couldn’t unfeel it.
Like my shoulders when it comes to self-expectations of performance, my lower jaw seems to be the bearer of much of the feelings of frustration and anger I’ve felt over my life (and there’s been a lot).
I’ve had a lot of oral problems. A tumor in my lower jaw. All kinds of periodontal surgery. Implants on the way.
I began to wonder if there was a connection between what a person who feels and holds onto a lot of anger and frustration in his jaw and these very real physical problems.
No idea, but it doesn’t matter.
One of my teachers says, “let it go, but if you can’t let it go, can you let it be?”
When things occur that might make me angry or frustrated, I may not be able to let them go. I may not want to.
But I need to let them be.
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