jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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jer979Rawness Avoidance
www.twitter.com/jer979
Every morning, after I write my blog post, I paste the text into AI and ask it to help me analyze the emotions that may be hidden within the text.
And almost every morning, it comes back with some variation of “you use intellectual frameworks to avoid confronting raw emotion.”
It’s frustrating, not because it keeps telling me that, but because I’m specifically trying to NOT avoid confronting raw emotion.
Now, I’m not saying that ChatGPT is the final word on anything, but I can also recognize the truth of its insights.
I’ve become more and more aware of my tendency to feel something and almost immediately seek to put it into a framework.
The good news, however, is that as I’ve become more and more aware of that tendency, I’ve simultaneously been able to start to crack and pry open a space between the stimulus of the feeling and the response of the intellectualization.
In that space, I believe, is the portal to the raw emotion.
Right now, for the most part, it’s just a crack and there’s only a small bit of light that pops through, like seeing the sun when trying to push yourself out of an enclosed box.
But, we all know that, before there’s a huge gap, there’s a crack.
The giant oak comes from the acorn.
Both are natural processes. Neither can be rushed.
But, within the acorn, and within the journey, lies the potential for the transformation.
One day, the rawness of the emotional (i.e. human) experience-whatever that REALLY is-won’t be avoided.
Every morning, after I write my blog post, I paste the text into AI and ask it to help me analyze the emotions that may be hidden within the text.
And almost every morning, it comes back with some variation of “you use intellectual frameworks to avoid confronting raw emotion.”
It’s frustrating, not because it keeps telling me that, but because I’m specifically trying to NOT avoid confronting raw emotion.
Now, I’m not saying that ChatGPT is the final word on anything, but I can also recognize the truth of its insights.
I’ve become more and more aware of my tendency to feel something and almost immediately seek to put it into a framework.
The good news, however, is that as I’ve become more and more aware of that tendency, I’ve simultaneously been able to start to crack and pry open a space between the stimulus of the feeling and the response of the intellectualization.
In that space, I believe, is the portal to the raw emotion.
Right now, for the most part, it’s just a crack and there’s only a small bit of light that pops through, like seeing the sun when trying to push yourself out of an enclosed box.
But, we all know that, before there’s a huge gap, there’s a crack.
The giant oak comes from the acorn.
Both are natural processes. Neither can be rushed.
But, within the acorn, and within the journey, lies the potential for the transformation.
One day, the rawness of the emotional (i.e. human) experience-whatever that REALLY is-won’t be avoided.
Support jer979
jer979Rawness Avoidance
jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
www.twitter.com/jer979
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