jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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jer979Rigidity Reflux
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jer979Rigidity Reflux
jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
www.twitter.com/jer979
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One of my greatest strengths- discipline of execution--is also one of my greatest weaknesses.
When I have a plan, I almost always stick to it, with an intense ferocity inspired by the efficiency of the Swiss Rail system.
But…on those days when, for some reason, the schedule is seriously impacted, well, then, I suffer from a kind of “rigidity reflux.”
It’s almost like there’s a mischievous, rebellious kid inside me who said “hey, the teacher’s not looking…you can do whatever you want.”
Then, the discipline that I pride myself on, around eating or sleeping or sticking to a schedule kind of goes out the window.
There’s one voice that says “hey man, relax, enjoy. Ignore that disciplinarian.”
Then there’s another that says “dude, you’re going to regret this later.”
It’s like there arguing inside my stomach somewhere (or some other internal organ).
The Tao Te Ching talks of “wu-wei,” as in “effortless action.” Which is basically the polar opposite of “rigidity reflux.”
It also talks of understanding beauty because of the existence of ugly. One cannot exist without the other.
So, I suppose having a type of “rigidity reflux” may be the best way to keep me on the path of wu-wei.
I don’t think I’m along in having these internal dialogues.
It seems that a part of the human condition, as I was reading in the book ‘Rigor of Angels” is straddling the line between effervescent and eternal. Between extremes. Between life and death.
Maybe that’s what Johnny Cash was talking about?
One of my greatest strengths- discipline of execution--is also one of my greatest weaknesses.
When I have a plan, I almost always stick to it, with an intense ferocity inspired by the efficiency of the Swiss Rail system.
But…on those days when, for some reason, the schedule is seriously impacted, well, then, I suffer from a kind of “rigidity reflux.”
It’s almost like there’s a mischievous, rebellious kid inside me who said “hey, the teacher’s not looking…you can do whatever you want.”
Then, the discipline that I pride myself on, around eating or sleeping or sticking to a schedule kind of goes out the window.
There’s one voice that says “hey man, relax, enjoy. Ignore that disciplinarian.”
Then there’s another that says “dude, you’re going to regret this later.”
It’s like there arguing inside my stomach somewhere (or some other internal organ).
The Tao Te Ching talks of “wu-wei,” as in “effortless action.” Which is basically the polar opposite of “rigidity reflux.”
It also talks of understanding beauty because of the existence of ugly. One cannot exist without the other.
So, I suppose having a type of “rigidity reflux” may be the best way to keep me on the path of wu-wei.
I don’t think I’m along in having these internal dialogues.
It seems that a part of the human condition, as I was reading in the book ‘Rigor of Angels” is straddling the line between effervescent and eternal. Between extremes. Between life and death.
Maybe that’s what Johnny Cash was talking about?
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