jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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jer979Uncertainty Fear
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jer979Uncertainty Fear
jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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<100 subscribers
Or maybe it’s really a fear of the ultimate question: “when and how will I die?”
I feel a sensation in my shoulders, my arms, and my stomach.
Then, I feel a shiver, like the cold of the slopes of Kilimanjaro.
It feels familiar. I’ve been here before.
I sit with it, feel it, notice it, but then, of course, I start to name it, identify it, categorize it.
It’s an anxiety about the future. It’s a regret about the past.
What’s underneath?
We want certainty, but the only certainty is uncertainty.
Our rational minds can never square this circle. No matter how hard we try.
The rational thing then is to not to try and be rational about it.
There is no answer. There is no certainty.
There just is.
Nothing more.
The hard part?
Accepting that.
Or maybe it’s really a fear of the ultimate question: “when and how will I die?”
I feel a sensation in my shoulders, my arms, and my stomach.
Then, I feel a shiver, like the cold of the slopes of Kilimanjaro.
It feels familiar. I’ve been here before.
I sit with it, feel it, notice it, but then, of course, I start to name it, identify it, categorize it.
It’s an anxiety about the future. It’s a regret about the past.
What’s underneath?
We want certainty, but the only certainty is uncertainty.
Our rational minds can never square this circle. No matter how hard we try.
The rational thing then is to not to try and be rational about it.
There is no answer. There is no certainty.
There just is.
Nothing more.
The hard part?
Accepting that.
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