jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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www.twitter.com/jer979
jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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jer979Wanted. Have.
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jer979Wanted. Have.
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Somehow, a vision emerges.
What is wanted.
There’s a pull. A yearning. A “fire in the belly.”
It rouses before dawn and keeps going well after sunset.
The specific may be difficult to explain, but the general makes sense to many.
But, often, despite the grind, the toil, the pushing…the vision is not only not achieved, there’s a moment when the possibilities collapse and the reality emerges.
To what exists. To what is held.
Whether it was wanted or not, it’s what is there.
Grief and mourning are appropriate.
But so is joy and celebration.
Even if it feels like it is forced.
Because somewhere, right near to where the fire, the yearning, and the pull were, is the true product of the work.
“No mud, no lotus.”
Just because the lotus isn’t seen and appreciated yet, doesn’t mean it’s not there.
Somehow, a vision emerges.
What is wanted.
There’s a pull. A yearning. A “fire in the belly.”
It rouses before dawn and keeps going well after sunset.
The specific may be difficult to explain, but the general makes sense to many.
But, often, despite the grind, the toil, the pushing…the vision is not only not achieved, there’s a moment when the possibilities collapse and the reality emerges.
To what exists. To what is held.
Whether it was wanted or not, it’s what is there.
Grief and mourning are appropriate.
But so is joy and celebration.
Even if it feels like it is forced.
Because somewhere, right near to where the fire, the yearning, and the pull were, is the true product of the work.
“No mud, no lotus.”
Just because the lotus isn’t seen and appreciated yet, doesn’t mean it’s not there.
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