SCRYPTS
SCRYPTS

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NAMECOIN BLOCKCHAIN
The Namecoin auction is taking place and punycode d/xn--dbi is on
the lot.
AUCTIONEER
Going once... going twice...
sold!
The gavel strikes and The RANDOMS, a bunch of ghouls, applaud.
AUCTIONEER
Next on the lot is punycode
“xn--y1a”.
The AUCTIONEER rambles on.
A signal at the entrance activates the DOORMAN to open the door.
DANIEL (now UPPERCASE DANIEL) emerges.
UPPERCASE DANIEL
I made it.
The DOORMAN stops UPPERCASE DANIEL in them tracks.
DOORMAN
Excuse me while I frisk your
dot bit.
UPPERCASE DANIEL
I’m uppercase!
The DOORMAN frisks UPPERCASE DANIEL's face.
UPPERCASE DANIEL
(to self)
He’s touching my cheeks.
DOORMAN
You’ve been vaulted.
UPPERCASE DANIEL
What does that mean?
DOORMAN
Your identity is locked.
UPPERCASE DANIEL
Ah, gheez.
AUCTIONEER
Going once... going twice...
sold!
The gavel strikes and The RANDOMS applaud.
AUCTIONEER
Next on the lot is the identity
“betty hernandez”.
UPPERCASE DANIEL
I want that one. I wanna be
betty.
DOORMAN
Your vault needs to be cracked
before you can register a new
identity.
UPPERCASE DANIEL
I don’t wanna be a fraud like
my father.
One of the RANDOMS leaves the group and appears in front of
UPPERCASE DANIEL.
RANDOM
I can crack your vault, hee-hee.
The DOORMAN punches the RANDOM senseless.
UPPERCASE DANIEL
Ah gheez, who’s gonna crack my
vault now?!
This echoes across the auction and incites the RANDOMS.
RANDOMS
(repeating)
We can crack your vault.
DOORMAN
Get back to your positions!
The DOORMAN gets overwhelmed by RANDOMS, who try to get UPPERCASE
DANIEL.
RANDOMS
Beat his head in!
DOORMAN
Oof! Ouch! I just got this job!
RANDOMS
You're unemployed now.
DOORMAN
Aaarrgghh!
The DOORMAN is torn apart by RANDOMS and they grab UPPERCASE DANIEL.
AUCTIONEER
Sold!
The RANDOMS hoist up UPPERCASE DANIEL...
UPPERCASE DANIEL
Lemme go!
...and drop them onto the edge of the lot.
AUCTIONEER
Next on the lot is.
A Namecoin template appears with the text "Nancy Brown".
UPPERCASE DANIEL
Nancy...
AUCTIONEER
"nancy brown".
UPPERCASE DANIEL
...Nancy Brown.
NANCY BROWN
Hey Danny.
END OF EPISODE
NAMECOIN BLOCKCHAIN
The Namecoin auction is taking place and punycode d/xn--dbi is on
the lot.
AUCTIONEER
Going once... going twice...
sold!
The gavel strikes and The RANDOMS, a bunch of ghouls, applaud.
AUCTIONEER
Next on the lot is punycode
“xn--y1a”.
The AUCTIONEER rambles on.
A signal at the entrance activates the DOORMAN to open the door.
DANIEL (now UPPERCASE DANIEL) emerges.
UPPERCASE DANIEL
I made it.
The DOORMAN stops UPPERCASE DANIEL in them tracks.
DOORMAN
Excuse me while I frisk your
dot bit.
UPPERCASE DANIEL
I’m uppercase!
The DOORMAN frisks UPPERCASE DANIEL's face.
UPPERCASE DANIEL
(to self)
He’s touching my cheeks.
DOORMAN
You’ve been vaulted.
UPPERCASE DANIEL
What does that mean?
DOORMAN
Your identity is locked.
UPPERCASE DANIEL
Ah, gheez.
AUCTIONEER
Going once... going twice...
sold!
The gavel strikes and The RANDOMS applaud.
AUCTIONEER
Next on the lot is the identity
“betty hernandez”.
UPPERCASE DANIEL
I want that one. I wanna be
betty.
DOORMAN
Your vault needs to be cracked
before you can register a new
identity.
UPPERCASE DANIEL
I don’t wanna be a fraud like
my father.
One of the RANDOMS leaves the group and appears in front of
UPPERCASE DANIEL.
RANDOM
I can crack your vault, hee-hee.
The DOORMAN punches the RANDOM senseless.
UPPERCASE DANIEL
Ah gheez, who’s gonna crack my
vault now?!
This echoes across the auction and incites the RANDOMS.
RANDOMS
(repeating)
We can crack your vault.
DOORMAN
Get back to your positions!
The DOORMAN gets overwhelmed by RANDOMS, who try to get UPPERCASE
DANIEL.
RANDOMS
Beat his head in!
DOORMAN
Oof! Ouch! I just got this job!
RANDOMS
You're unemployed now.
DOORMAN
Aaarrgghh!
The DOORMAN is torn apart by RANDOMS and they grab UPPERCASE DANIEL.
AUCTIONEER
Sold!
The RANDOMS hoist up UPPERCASE DANIEL...
UPPERCASE DANIEL
Lemme go!
...and drop them onto the edge of the lot.
AUCTIONEER
Next on the lot is.
A Namecoin template appears with the text "Nancy Brown".
UPPERCASE DANIEL
Nancy...
AUCTIONEER
"nancy brown".
UPPERCASE DANIEL
...Nancy Brown.
NANCY BROWN
Hey Danny.
END OF EPISODE
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