It’s not that you did something wrong.
Sometimes people just reach the limit of their emotional capacity.
They can’t give you what they never learned to give themselves.

And then there are all the “shoulds” the world throws at you:
— “At your age, you should have a plan.”
— “You should know who you are, what you want.”
— “Dress like this.”
— “Be more feminine.”
— “How can you be that pretty and depressed?”
— “How can you be that smart and not go to college?”

Too many manuals written by others.
Too many molds I don’t fit into.

Yes, I’m an adult, and sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.
Not completely.
I grew up running, as if everything was a race.
I never learned what it meant to stop.

And when I finally stopped, I got lost.
The world didn’t wait.
And that broke something in me.

But I’m still here: messy, half-assembled, trying to recognize myself again.
Sometimes it feels like waking up from an emotional coma and not knowing where I belong.
Maybe I just want a simple life.
Maybe I learned to live with little and everything else overwhelms me.
Sometimes I want to disappear for a while, stop trying to hold everything together.

I don’t have a grand conclusion.
I don’t have a powerful answer.

Just this: I’m learning how to be with myself, even without a map.