"As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters." -Seneca
This past week brought a tragedy to my family's minds.
A sixteen-year-old friend of my oldest son passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on Monday. The boys were soccer teammates for a few years, and our families were friends in the way you get to know each other for traveling tournaments and weekly matches. Although their team split up nearly two years ago to go to other teams, they were all still friends.
My son had trouble sleeping that first night, as did I.
My son, Gabe, was devastated and couldn't fall asleep. He was up most of the night. I kept dreaming lucid dreams about past tragedies that never happened to me or my family. They felt real. I would wake up to the reality that all was the same. Each one of us was safe. I would give thanks, offer love to our friend's family, and then fall asleep to another vivid scenario.
We got word the following morning that the family and friends were organizing a candlelight vigil that night at the soccer park they used to practice at.
This was two days before Thanksgiving, and this family was forced to mourn their oldest child. Although we could only imagine the gravity of what they were going through, we could feel the pain of finality and grief. My son needed to attend to share this experience with friends and hug Mateo's family.
We thought it would be a small gathering of family and soccer families.
When we arrived at 7 pm, we saw a crowd of nearly a hundred people. There was family, soccer families, friends, school friends, teachers, and old coaches. We lit our candles with each other's fire, and the crowd glowed in the darkness. Everyone was quiet, solemn, and still.
There was electricity in the cool air.
A love you could feel was traveling all of the spaces between each person, weaving its way around the crowd until everyone felt enveloped in it. Mateo touched so many lives in his sixteen years. His parents each addressed the crowd with so much love and pain that we could all feel it. Tears sprang from the group in consolation and remembrance.
One by one, people moved to the front of the crowd and shared stories and memories of Mateo.
Each story and memory was a tribute to his life and spirit. They illustrated how well he lived, how much he loved, and how he didn't care what people thought. Mateo was uniquely himself, regardless of the consequences or judgment from others. He modeled what extreme love, humor, and joy in life looked like. We were honored to be a part of these private moments that people shared.
Family and friends came from all over to celebrate Mateo's impact on their lives.
The soccer families stayed behind after most of the crowd took their memories and wandered back into their own personal worlds and lives. The boys needed more time to share the love, friendship, and bonds they created with each other and Mateo. They laughed, consoled each other, and told more stories in their group. The themes of the stories they shared were similar to the ones the larger vigil had expressed.
Live as Mateo lived.
To honor Mateo, honor your true self. Be yourself regardless of what others think. Do what feels right to you. Have fun and inject humor into life whenever possible. Show up as your authentic self to truly connect with others. Be there when people need you and encourage them to live well.
Life is like a story. It's not how long you live; it's how well you live.
Mateo reminds us of that.
This week's newsletter is dedicated in honor of Mateo and his family.
Your Journal Prompts for this week:
At the end of my life, how do I want to be remembered by my loved ones?
How can I start living an authentic and impactful life now?
Minimalist Weekly Challenge:
Organize your books and journals in order of most impactful to least impactful to the life you want to live.
Challenge yourself to eliminate and donate the least impactful or least significant to others. (or resell on an online marketplace.)
Estimated time to complete: 1 hour
(Benefits: This may help provide you focus on what matters most to you and what will help you impact others.)
With Vitality + Purpose + Love,
Kourt @ The Minimalist Stoic
"As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters." -Seneca