Didn’t you kind of picture yourself wearing a black gown and a queen’s crown like from the animated movies? Or maybe you’d rather see yourself as Charlize Theron in Snow White and the Huntsman? Either way, you look marvelous!

Self reflection. Let’s get into it. Something we literally do and see everyday physically, however, most of us don’t take the time to self reflect beyond the mirror.

Adam’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

In life, we are faced with countless decisions on a daily basis, from minor choices like what to wear or what to eat, to major life-altering decisions like changing careers or moving to a new city. However, not all decisions are created equal, and the consequences of some decisions can have a significant impact on our lives. This is where self-reflection comes into play.

And it doesn’t have to be perfect. It probably should be messy. Look at the mess.

“Your mess is your message”

Full credit to my my friend Sarthak Joshi on this quote

Some years ago I was working through a self reflection worksheet and ranking myself on a scale of 1-10 (1 the lowest, 10 the highest) on varying areas of my life. You can imagine the types of questions.

1. How would you rate your physical health?

2. Are you happy with your career?

3. How good is your eating plan during the week?

4. How would you rate your intimate relationships?

5. How would you rate your relationship with your parents?

So I went through this rather long questionnaire and I looked at my answers. The answers were averaging in the 4-6 range. There were some outliers of course, but overall I felt like I was treading water in my life. Plus, I’ve been historically pretty hard on myself, so this seemed to make sense. I guess this was how I really felt about myself at that time. But, you know what, I wanted someone else to try this. So, as one does, I turned to a loved one. In this case, my sister. I explained to her the basics of the exercise, which she quickly understood because she’s wicked smaht, and off she went.

Now, a few things. And I’ll try not to sound too narcissistic while saying all of these. (You’re loving the mirror analogy now right?!)

1. My exercise routine was better than hers

2. I was in better financial shape than her

3. My diet was better than hers

4. My work life was in a better place than hers

Cut me some slack here I’m being vulnerable. So, off she goes to take the exercise and answers the questions. She finished and we looked through the answers. She was averaging 7,8,9s. Wait, what??! How am I, according to me, doing better than you and you’re scoring 7,8,9 on this exercise. What am I missing?

She then proceeded to talk about progress. Meaning she took a snapshot of where she was today and compared it to where she was say a few years ago. She had a very deep understanding of where she was and where she is now. Aka, self reflection. She basically said “Hey, I’m doing incredible today compared to where I was a few years ago.”

She looked back to how far she’d come and gave herself credit. Whereas, I was looking forward to how much I still had to do and was hard on myself.

Pretty cool I have to say. I think that was the first day that I could remember being gentle with myself. Taking into account where I’d come from and all of the hard work I’d put in to get to where I was today.

Self-reflection is the act of taking a step back and examining our thoughts, actions, and behaviors in a non-judgmental manner. It allows us to gain a better understanding of ourselves, our values, and our goals.

Be curious, not judgemental. - (maybe Walt Whitman, definitely Ted Lasso)

So, to my sister. Thank you. You’re better than me! Kidding, we’re besties. And in my own self reflection, there’s so much that I respect, love and admire about who I’ve become today by observing you. I understand you, and I see the brilliance of you reflected in who I am.

Now what about this looking forward thing. I actually quite like this looking forward thing and having a life or a lifestyle to look forward to. The hack here, for me, is to not picture or crave the ‘someday in my future’ when this thing or that thing will happen, but to the best of my ability, live now as if the future I am envisioning for myself is already here. There’s definitely some cognitive dissonance that comes up here when you play it out, don’t get me wrong, but give it a shot.

For example; In my future vision I’m worth $300M. But today I’m not. What happens when I picture myself living ‘as if’ I am worth $300M today (in that reality/timeline) while in the 3D world I’m currently living in, I am not worth $300M. Sure I can’t buy a yacht, or travel on a whim anywhere, or invest in every company I remotely like. But what I can do is train my brain and cells to understand the feeling of what I think and feel the the freedom of being worth 300M offers me. Why did I choose that as something that’s important to me? What’s beyond the money that I value and gives me that same freedom. Could it have been something else related to my family, starting an NGO, where I’ll be working, how I’m able to still my mind?

I enjoy this idea. I use it myself more and more. I find it freeing.

I also find this interesting with the balance and completeness of self-reflection. We’ve discussed an example of what self reflection looks like looking backwards (my sister), and we’ve discussed what self-reflection looks like looking forward (me).

And this, within our limited understanding of a linear time system. The past pushes us forward to our present than then into our future, right? Eh, not necessarily.

Eventually as we shift time from linear to, well, something else, then we start to see that our past is not something that’s been lived, and our future something yet to be lived.

We’re constantly choosing which self-reflection (if you will) we listen to in a moment from our past as well as our future that determines our present.

Self-reflection allows us to connect with our inner selves and gain a deeper understanding of our values and beliefs. This self-awareness is crucial when making decisions that align with our personal goals and aspirations. When we are in tune with our inner selves, we are better equipped to make decisions that bring us fulfillment and happiness.

And, by taking the time to reflect on our thoughts and actions, we can make decisions that lead to a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

Got it? Good. Now go reflect.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the…

Adam’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Didn’t you kind of picture yourself wearing a black gown and a queen’s crown like from the animated movies? Or maybe you’d rather see yourself as Charlize Theron in Snow White and the Huntsman? Either way, you look marvelous!

Self reflection. Let’s get into it. Something we literally do and see everyday physically, however, most of us don’t take the time to self reflect beyond the mirror.

Adam’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

In life, we are faced with countless decisions on a daily basis, from minor choices like what to wear or what to eat, to major life-altering decisions like changing careers or moving to a new city. However, not all decisions are created equal, and the consequences of some decisions can have a significant impact on our lives. This is where self-reflection comes into play.

And it doesn’t have to be perfect. It probably should be messy. Look at the mess.

“Your mess is your message”

Full credit to my my friend Sarthak Joshi on this quote

Some years ago I was working through a self reflection worksheet and ranking myself on a scale of 1-10 (1 the lowest, 10 the highest) on varying areas of my life. You can imagine the types of questions.

1. How would you rate your physical health?

2. Are you happy with your career?

3. How good is your eating plan during the week?

4. How would you rate your intimate relationships?

5. How would you rate your relationship with your parents?

So I went through this rather long questionnaire and I looked at my answers. The answers were averaging in the 4-6 range. There were some outliers of course, but overall I felt like I was treading water in my life. Plus, I’ve been historically pretty hard on myself, so this seemed to make sense. I guess this was how I really felt about myself at that time. But, you know what, I wanted someone else to try this. So, as one does, I turned to a loved one. In this case, my sister. I explained to her the basics of the exercise, which she quickly understood because she’s wicked smaht, and off she went.

Now, a few things. And I’ll try not to sound too narcissistic while saying all of these. (You’re loving the mirror analogy now right?!)

1. My exercise routine was better than hers

2. I was in better financial shape than her

3. My diet was better than hers

4. My work life was in a better place than hers

Cut me some slack here I’m being vulnerable. So, off she goes to take the exercise and answers the questions. She finished and we looked through the answers. She was averaging 7,8,9s. Wait, what??! How am I, according to me, doing better than you and you’re scoring 7,8,9 on this exercise. What am I missing?

She then proceeded to talk about progress. Meaning she took a snapshot of where she was today and compared it to where she was say a few years ago. She had a very deep understanding of where she was and where she is now. Aka, self reflection. She basically said “Hey, I’m doing incredible today compared to where I was a few years ago.”

She looked back to how far she’d come and gave herself credit. Whereas, I was looking forward to how much I still had to do and was hard on myself.

Pretty cool I have to say. I think that was the first day that I could remember being gentle with myself. Taking into account where I’d come from and all of the hard work I’d put in to get to where I was today.

Self-reflection is the act of taking a step back and examining our thoughts, actions, and behaviors in a non-judgmental manner. It allows us to gain a better understanding of ourselves, our values, and our goals.

Be curious, not judgemental. - (maybe Walt Whitman, definitely Ted Lasso)

So, to my sister. Thank you. You’re better than me! Kidding, we’re besties. And in my own self reflection, there’s so much that I respect, love and admire about who I’ve become today by observing you. I understand you, and I see the brilliance of you reflected in who I am.

Now what about this looking forward thing. I actually quite like this looking forward thing and having a life or a lifestyle to look forward to. The hack here, for me, is to not picture or crave the ‘someday in my future’ when this thing or that thing will happen, but to the best of my ability, live now as if the future I am envisioning for myself is already here. There’s definitely some cognitive dissonance that comes up here when you play it out, don’t get me wrong, but give it a shot.

For example; In my future vision I’m worth $300M. But today I’m not. What happens when I picture myself living ‘as if’ I am worth $300M today (in that reality/timeline) while in the 3D world I’m currently living in, I am not worth $300M. Sure I can’t buy a yacht, or travel on a whim anywhere, or invest in every company I remotely like. But what I can do is train my brain and cells to understand the feeling of what I think and feel the the freedom of being worth 300M offers me. Why did I choose that as something that’s important to me? What’s beyond the money that I value and gives me that same freedom. Could it have been something else related to my family, starting an NGO, where I’ll be working, how I’m able to still my mind?

I enjoy this idea. I use it myself more and more. I find it freeing.

I also find this interesting with the balance and completeness of self-reflection. We’ve discussed an example of what self reflection looks like looking backwards (my sister), and we’ve discussed what self-reflection looks like looking forward (me).

And this, within our limited understanding of a linear time system. The past pushes us forward to our present than then into our future, right? Eh, not necessarily.

Eventually as we shift time from linear to, well, something else, then we start to see that our past is not something that’s been lived, and our future something yet to be lived.

We’re constantly choosing which self-reflection (if you will) we listen to in a moment from our past as well as our future that determines our present.

Self-reflection allows us to connect with our inner selves and gain a deeper understanding of our values and beliefs. This self-awareness is crucial when making decisions that align with our personal goals and aspirations. When we are in tune with our inner selves, we are better equipped to make decisions that bring us fulfillment and happiness.

And, by taking the time to reflect on our thoughts and actions, we can make decisions that lead to a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

Got it? Good. Now go reflect.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the…

Adam’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.