Subscribe to Neutralizing Narcissism: The Immutable Edition
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Subscribe to Neutralizing Narcissism: The Immutable Edition
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Share Dialog
Share Dialog
You feel it, don’t you?
The weight of what you’ve already given.
The defenses you’ve mounted for him.
The arguments you’ve had on his behalf.
The things you’ve believed because he made you believe them.
Maybe you’ve started to see the cracks.
The inconsistencies. The lies. The moments that don’t add up.
Maybe, deep down, you’re beginning to wonder—What if they were right?
But admitting that? Walking away now?
That would mean facing something you don’t want to face.
That you were used.
That you were deceived.
That you were never an equal in this, but a tool.
And that is why you stay.
Joel doesn’t just manipulate your loyalty.
He traps it.
He binds you to him.
Not with force, but with something far more powerful—
Your own identity.
Here’s how:
1️⃣ The Investment Hook
Every time you defend him, every time you stand by him, you are investing in him.
The more you invest, the harder it is to walk away—because leaving would mean admitting that investment was a waste.
2️⃣ The Fear of Being Wrong
Joel frames everything as a battle between truth and lies, between us and them.
If you question him, if you doubt him, then you are at risk of becoming one of them.
And what does Joel do to them?
3️⃣ The Threat of Exile
You’ve seen what happens to those who leave.
The people who question him. The ones who turn away.
They are mocked.
They are shamed.
They are rewritten as traitors, fools, enemies.
And deep down, you know—
If you walk away, he will turn on you too.
4️⃣ The Emotional Blackmail
He knows how to keep you emotionally tied to him.
If you start pulling away, he suddenly becomes softer, more vulnerable.
He tells you stories—about how much he’s suffered, how much he’s lost, how much he needs you.
He makes you feel special.
Needed.
Important.
He guilts you into staying.
5️⃣ The "You Knew All Along" Trap
And if you finally do leave?
If you finally see through it?
He will rewrite you, too.
He will say you were never truly loyal.
That you were always looking for a reason to betray him.
That you were weak.
And worst of all—he will say you knew all along.
It is easier to stay.
Easier to believe that you were right to stand by him.
Easier to ignore the gnawing feeling inside that something isn’t right.
Because if you admit that feeling is real—
If you admit that Joel isn’t who he says he is—
Then you have to admit something even harder:
That you let yourself be deceived.
That you played a role in his illusion.
That you helped him hurt others.
And that is painful.
But it is nothing compared to the pain of what will happen if you keep ignoring it.
Because eventually, he will turn on you.
He always does.
And when that day comes—
When you are the one being smeared, when you are the one he is rewriting—
Who will stand up for you?
Not Joel.
Not the people still caught in his web.
No one.
And that is the moment you will realize—
You were always alone in this.
You feel it, don’t you?
The weight of what you’ve already given.
The defenses you’ve mounted for him.
The arguments you’ve had on his behalf.
The things you’ve believed because he made you believe them.
Maybe you’ve started to see the cracks.
The inconsistencies. The lies. The moments that don’t add up.
Maybe, deep down, you’re beginning to wonder—What if they were right?
But admitting that? Walking away now?
That would mean facing something you don’t want to face.
That you were used.
That you were deceived.
That you were never an equal in this, but a tool.
And that is why you stay.
Joel doesn’t just manipulate your loyalty.
He traps it.
He binds you to him.
Not with force, but with something far more powerful—
Your own identity.
Here’s how:
1️⃣ The Investment Hook
Every time you defend him, every time you stand by him, you are investing in him.
The more you invest, the harder it is to walk away—because leaving would mean admitting that investment was a waste.
2️⃣ The Fear of Being Wrong
Joel frames everything as a battle between truth and lies, between us and them.
If you question him, if you doubt him, then you are at risk of becoming one of them.
And what does Joel do to them?
3️⃣ The Threat of Exile
You’ve seen what happens to those who leave.
The people who question him. The ones who turn away.
They are mocked.
They are shamed.
They are rewritten as traitors, fools, enemies.
And deep down, you know—
If you walk away, he will turn on you too.
4️⃣ The Emotional Blackmail
He knows how to keep you emotionally tied to him.
If you start pulling away, he suddenly becomes softer, more vulnerable.
He tells you stories—about how much he’s suffered, how much he’s lost, how much he needs you.
He makes you feel special.
Needed.
Important.
He guilts you into staying.
5️⃣ The "You Knew All Along" Trap
And if you finally do leave?
If you finally see through it?
He will rewrite you, too.
He will say you were never truly loyal.
That you were always looking for a reason to betray him.
That you were weak.
And worst of all—he will say you knew all along.
It is easier to stay.
Easier to believe that you were right to stand by him.
Easier to ignore the gnawing feeling inside that something isn’t right.
Because if you admit that feeling is real—
If you admit that Joel isn’t who he says he is—
Then you have to admit something even harder:
That you let yourself be deceived.
That you played a role in his illusion.
That you helped him hurt others.
And that is painful.
But it is nothing compared to the pain of what will happen if you keep ignoring it.
Because eventually, he will turn on you.
He always does.
And when that day comes—
When you are the one being smeared, when you are the one he is rewriting—
Who will stand up for you?
Not Joel.
Not the people still caught in his web.
No one.
And that is the moment you will realize—
You were always alone in this.
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