By: The Unfairly Persecuted Intellectual Victim™️

So, you’ve engaged with someone smarter, sharper, and immune to your usual reality-warping tactics. Maybe you left a snide comment. Maybe you tried a little intellectual peacocking. Maybe you even threw in a friendly scolding to establish dominance.

And now—oh no!—you’ve been outmaneuvered. Your tactics are laid bare. Your ego is deflating like an old party balloon.

What do you do?

Reframe! You were never arguing in bad faith. You were never maneuvering for control. You were innocently expressing your thoughts—and now you are under attack!

Remember: facts don’t matter. Feelings do. You don’t need to prove you’re being bullied—you just need to say it. Loudly. Repeatedly. With the emotional conviction of a local theater actor trying to win a Tony.

“Wow, I just wanted a simple discussion, and now I’m being bullied.”
“This is harassment! Just because I disagreed???”
“You’re coming after me because I dared to have an opinion.”

(🚨 Important Note: Your “opinion” was actually an attempt to undermine, gaslight, or reframe someone else’s experience. But shhh! That part isn’t important anymore.)

This is the crucial step. Right now, people can see that you started this conflict. That won’t do. You need to convince the world that you were helplessly minding your own business when the big bad bully came after you with their... documentation and rhetorical skill.

🎭 Time for performative fragility! 🎭
“I’m just a regular guy! I don’t deserve this!”
“Wow. Just wow. This is really happening.”
“People need to see how toxic you are.”

Boom. Instant narrative shift.

You’ll need backup. Start summoning sympathizers. Even if they don’t know the details, they’ll know you sound sad. And that’s enough.

“I just don’t get why people are so cruel.”
“I didn’t expect to be attacked today.”
“I hope people see who the real problem is here.”

(🚨 Bonus Move: Tag mutual acquaintances. The goal is to pressure your opponent into backing down. If they don’t, well—congratulations! You now have a mob.)

By now, you’ve done enough damage control. If you’re lucky, people are arguing about whether or not you were bullied—which means they aren’t talking about what actually happened.

Now, it’s time to leave in triumph. But don’t just vanish—leave a cryptic, self-righteous exit message.

“I hope someday you get the help you need.”
“I’m done with this negativity. Moving on.”
“This will be my last comment, but people should really reflect on their actions.”

(🚨 Important: You will come back to check replies. You will reappear if you think you have an opening. But for now, disappear like a misunderstood philosopher into the mist of self-imposed exile.)

If your opponent refuses to be guilt-tripped? If they continue exposing your behavior? If they don’t care about your pity parade?

Easy. Up the stakes.

🃏 Imply vague legal threats.
🃏 Post a status about how people are out to get you.
🃏 Tell everyone you’re being "harassed" across multiple platforms.
🃏 Say you’re "just documenting" for a future, unspecified reckoning.

And if all else fails—block them and pretend none of this ever happened.

Congratulations! You are now completely safe from accountability. You have successfully turned your own bad behavior into someone else’s problem. And best of all?

You never had to reflect, apologize, or grow.

Go forth, noble victim. The internet is yours.

To all those who have called me a bully—thank you.

Thank you for confirming that I held you accountable.
Thank you for proving that you couldn’t control me.
Thank you for revealing that my words mattered enough for you to try rewriting them.

Your fear of being exposed was louder than any argument you made.

And that? That’s the real confession.

💡 New Rule: Every time a narcissist calls me a bully, I gain +10 power.

Keep ‘em coming.