A revealing exploration of narcissistic behaviors through the lens of personal attacks, deflection, and legal threats in an online discourse.
TL;DR
This archive documents the escalation of a personal conflict into a full display of narcissistic manipulation, deflection, and legal threats. Through private messages and public posts, Shona’s behavior reveals the core tactics used by narcissists to evade accountability and project their flaws onto others.Note from Author:
The content of this archive reflects a painful but necessary confrontation with someone I once called a friend. Over 14 years of friendship, this conflict reached its breaking point through a series of personal attacks, accusations, and legal threats. I present this archive not out of malice but as a case study in narcissistic deflection, projection, and manipulation. It’s important that we shed light on these behaviors so others can recognize and protect themselves from similar tactics.
Narcissistic manipulation can take many forms, often cloaked in personal attacks, accusations, and threats that seem designed to deflect blame and project faults onto others. In this archive, we explore a friendship of over a decade that unraveled in the face of these very tactics.
Shona Youngblood and I have known each other for 14 years, collaborating creatively and sharing life experiences along the way. But as our paths diverged, unresolved tensions surfaced, leading to a bitter exchange. Through private messages and public posts, Shona’s accusations and attacks paint a picture of the narcissistic strategies I have spent years documenting on my
This archive is both a personal account and a valuable case study of how narcissists manipulate those around them, even in close relationships. I present it to shed light on these behaviors and to encourage others to recognize, resist, and overcome them.
PUBLIC POSTS
MARK HAVENS (OP) – link
"Love is a lie," whispers the narcissist, their gilded cage a trap for your heart, leaving you empty and yearning.
SHONA YOUNGBLOOD – Saturday, May 25, 2024 at 10:48 AM
This is complete bullshit since a narcissist uses love as a weapon. If you've been in a relationship with a narcissist as you claim, you would know exactly that.
This post genuinely makes me so effing angry. You seem to want to paint a narcissist as someone who doesn't "get" things, doesn't feel, etc. If you have actually spent ANY time with a legit narcissist, and not someone you have labeled that just because they did things you didn't like, then you would know how utterly _wrong_ this post & a lot of your opinions on narcissists are.
As someone in a highly abusive relationship with a DIAGNOSED clinical malignant narcissist, I call complete & utter bullshit on your narcissist posts.
I'm sorry if this comes off rude, I don't care anymore, I'm tired of seeing your click & like bait posts that are bullshit like this.
The crazy part in all of it is YOU not realizing that YOU are a narcissist, yourself!
Man up, see a shrink, and fucking fix yourself like everyone else has to, or stfu about it.
Therapy is a thing. Psychiatry is a thing. Figure out how to become a decent human through their use!
MARK HAVENS – Saturday, May 25, 2024 at 11:01 AM
Shona,
I hear your anger and frustration, and I want to acknowledge the pain you're experiencing. Your words, while sharp, speak to a deep wound, a wound inflicted by someone who used love as a weapon against you.
My meme, a glimpse into the narcissist's distorted worldview, was never intended to minimize the suffering of victims or to excuse the abuser's behavior. It was meant to shed light on the manipulative tactics they employ, particularly the insidious way they twist the concept of love into a tool for control.
You're right, narcissistic abuse is a complex and devastating experience. It's a betrayal of trust, a violation of boundaries, and a theft of self-worth. I know this firsthand, both from my own experiences and from the countless stories shared by survivors like yourself.
As for the accusation of me being a narcissist, I understand your pain and defensiveness. It's a common reaction to trauma, a way to protect oneself from further harm. But I assure you, my intentions in creating this content are rooted in empathy, understanding, and a deep desire to empower survivors.
I've known you for 14 years, Shona. We've shared laughter, dreams, and creative endeavors, collaborating on projects at Dallas Makerspace. While our paths may have diverged, I still hold you in high regard and wish you nothing but healing and happiness.
I believe that education and awareness are crucial steps towards overcoming narcissistic abuse. That's why I'm committed to creating content that not only exposes the narcissist's tactics, but also offers hope and support to survivors.
I invite you to join me in this conversation, Shona. Let's explore the complexities of narcissistic abuse together, with compassion and understanding. Perhaps we can even find common ground in our shared desire to heal and empower others who have been harmed by this insidious form of manipulation.
PRIVATE MESSAGE (FACEBOOK MESSENGER)
MARK HAVENS – 4/12/22, 2:14 AM
Haven’t seen you since Oguz invited us both to eat Korean… must have been around six years ago. I remember getting grumpy, angry vibes. How are things?
SHONA YOUNGBLOOD – 4/12/22, 9:44 AM
I wasn't grumpy or angry, I am just a lot more quiet & reserved than I used to be.
Things are good, have a good job, in the fall I go back to school to finish my last 2 semesters. Other than that, not much. You?
MARK HAVENS
I took in my mother during Covid. Been taking care of her and undoing some damage caused by her own neglect. So far I’ve reversed her diabetes and she’s lost 100 pounds. And she walking around in a walker, which took some work because she claimed she wasn’t a little old lady. Lol
There was marital fallout when I took in my mother. I’m two years into a divorce. Haven’t seen my daughter in 18 months.
And I’m building a new business.
A project that builds upon the maker movement and will have the opportunity for national and international impact eventually.
SHONA YOUNGBLOOD – 4/12/22, 10:32 AM
Cool, sorry about the divorce & your daughter, can't you get an emergency temporary order for visitation? That is what a friend did.
MARK HAVENS
They were delayed for various reasons. Lawyer games of delay.
We scheduled a hearing for last month but at the last minute her lawyer claimed to be in the hospital.
He’s got other lawyers on staff. Even if it were true, which is legally unprovable, they could have done the hearing. But this is the games lawyers play to delay.
Until the judge sees through it and says no. And has the hearing without them.
SHONA YOUNGBLOOD – 4/12/22, 10:59 AM
Is there at least a new one scheduled?
MARK HAVENS
I haven’t heard yet. I don’t think so. I think we are waiting for discovery to push up the main trial date before we can schedule another temporary order.
She’s been trying to avoid temporary orders because more court time will improve my chances of getting what I want.
Ultimately, she wants me to give up my parental rights. She’s not even willing to negotiate other terms for a settlement.
MARK HAVENS – 4/12/22, 11:36 AM
What do you do for work these days?
SHONA YOUNGBLOOD – 4/12/22, 11:54 AM
I drive a semi until I complete my degree. And that sucks.
MARK HAVENS
Really? I thought about truck driving once. My grandfather was a truck driver. Travel. Solitude. Audiobooks. 🙃
You plan on teaching high school?
SHONA YOUNGBLOOD
I drive local. And no, I plan on going into corporate training or something at least close to comparable pay to what I make now. Teaching is a nightmare now & I'd be taking a huge pay cut.
MARK HAVENS
High pay, low stress?
SHONA YOUNGBLOOD – 4/12/22, 1:49 PM
Basically
MARK HAVENS
Sounds pleasant. I’m not sure if ever get anything done without some small amount of stress.
SHONA YOUNGBLOOD – 4/12/22, 5:14 PM
I try to avoid it. There's not no stress, just low. Plus I try to avoid stress as much as I can, it just gets my anxiety worked up & that's not a good thing.
MARK HAVENS – 4/12/22, 5:32 PM
Do you happen to know your Myers Briggs personality type?
(It’s something I’ve sorta got into over the last six or seven years)
SHONA YOUNGBLOOD – 4/12/22, 6:55 PM
Nope, never really been interested in that stuff.
MARK HAVENS – 4/12/22, 7:28 PM
You should know that I really valued you as a friend. I blame myself more than you know.
SHONA YOUNGBLOOD
For what? I cut ties with most folks besides a handful or so when I left the space, it was just easier for me emotionally with the divorce.
MARK HAVENS
It felt like you weren’t proud of the cake you made me, and I didn’t know what to do about it. I also felt guilty about not being more supportive when you wanted to be chair of crafting room. I impulsively supported a stranger I had only just met, and later remembered that you wanted to run. And then I rationalized my reasons after the fact in order to maintain my own sense of consistency.
I never heard your side of it. But to me, it always felt like you were pressured or manipulated out… in part, because of your friendship with me. And in part, because I thought I hurt you.
SHONA YOUNGBLOOD – 4/12/22, 8:35 PM
Nope, not at all. I was disappointed with the cake, I knew I could have done better. But none of the other stuff was an issue. And I wasn't manipulated out at all, I chose to walk out. Many tried to get me to stay & ask John to leave instead. But I felt I would be able to make friends & maintain friendships easier than John, for a myriad of reasons I won't go into. So in the divorce he got custody of the space. I was the craft co chair once we got settled in ladybird. I left before the move before the current space.
I basically ran ladybird in some ways, mostly social. Resident cat-herder. Lol! I was thanked by many & often, so I never felt run out of anywhere.
Heck, John & I went to New Zealand for a month so I could do a fellow member's wedding cake & attend the wedding.
MARK HAVENS – 4/12/22, 8:58 PM
My reality was very different. I was forced to hear the complaints and tried to protect you from people that thought you had taken too much control.
SHONA YOUNGBLOOD – 4/12/22, 9:19 PM
Well, can't do anything about it now, so I'm not going to give it any brain space since it's been over a decade ago. My life doesn't revolve around or involve the space any longer even though I've been invited back multiple times. I just live too far, and I don't have the time. So I visit sporadically, typically when Oguz is visiting, but that is it. So basically I don't really care, so you should hold nothing about it, it's fine. It has not impacted my life in any way, even when you say it was happening, so it doesn't bother me any.
MARK HAVENS – 4/12/22, 11:03 PM
Well... I get a broad range of requests for help on a daily basis. Helping people in the maker community has become my full-time job.
SHONA YOUNGBLOOD – 4/12/22, 11:25 PM
👍
SHONA YOUNGBLOOD – May 25, 2024, 11:29 AM
The irony is you don't know shit about me Mark. You THINK you know me, but you don't. You are the most incredibly narcissistic person, besides my ex I have ever met. But you are a covert narcissist. You truly believe that you aren't, but your behaviour & history of behaviour completely says otherwise.
You are a genuinely awful human Mark, and I hope I literally never lay eyes on you or have to speak to you again. And that is not trauma speaking, this is 14 years of you & your bullshit finally culminating in an explosion when a narcissist (YOU) continually tries to play the fucking victim. I'm SICK of it.
I'm sick of your shit. I'm sick of your personal altruistic bullshit, and desire to be some kind of messiah to others.
You can't even fucking write!!! It's all AI written prompts, you didn't write shit! And your literal OBSESSION with DMS and certain members like Andrew is very, very well documented.
Your illegal choices of FRAUD in creating fake ass nonprofit organizations. Your slumlord tendencies.
There is an effing REASON your partners have left you and reduce the amount of time you have with your kids. Because their mothers don't want them to be like you.
Are they much better? Possibly not, but, they are the MUCH better option to you.
Go fuck yourself Mark. And know that I know a LOT of people, and if my name pops up anywhere in your fucking feed, I will make it documented, and this will be one harassment and gross narcissistic bullying campaign you will NOT win. I have unending, free, legal council, and I will happily use it for you. Now THAT should please your narcissistic soul, that you're that special.
Go fuck yourself Mark.
Neutralizing Narcissism: The Awakening Edition