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📝 Company: The Internet’s Bureau of Truth Management™️
📍 Location: Your Mom’s Basement (Remote)
💰 Salary: Zero dollars, but unlimited dopamine hits from false superiority
⏳ Hours: 24/7 Vigilance (Mandatory)
Are you a deeply insecure individual with a relentless need to control narratives? Do you dream of a career in investigative journalism but lack the credibility, ethics, or talent? Then we have the perfect unpaid position for you!
As a Discreditation Specialist, you’ll work tirelessly to scour Mark Havens' posts, articles, and case studies across multiple platforms, desperately searching for anything that can be twisted, flagged, or misrepresented.
Obsession Required: Regularly refresh his Substack, Medium, Facebook, and Linktree in the hopes that this time you’ll find something truly damning.
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Neutralizing Narcissism: The Awakening Edition
No actual critical thinking skills necessary
Must have a personal vendetta against facts
Experience in projection, DARVO, and playing the victim preferred
Proven ability to lose debates but still insist you’ve won
Ability to say “You’re obsessed with me” while simultaneously monitoring everything Mark does
💵 Salary: None. Not a single cent. In fact, you will be increasing Mark’s visibility for free.
Career Growth: Absolutely none, unless you count the dopamine rush from getting a single comment liked by another bitter, self-important contrarian.
Job Perks:
The illusion of control.
A sense of self-importance that will collapse in on itself like a dying star.
The fleeting satisfaction of pressing “Report” on a post that will ultimately remain standing.
Knowing deep down that you’ve dedicated your time to helping the very person you wish to destroy.
Just keep doing what you’re doing, Joel. You’re already overqualified.
🔥🔥🔥
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