Waking up to a new calm that feels familiar. Motivated, ready to find new communities. Need to get out of my shell. Don’t be afraid of stupid questions. Find folks that want to build a better future.

Looking back on previous communities. Lowell Elementary and the trip to Lake Crescent. Learning the scientific method with peers. Asking questions. Feels like this is where I may have grown the most. And then things slowed a bit. Middle school didn’t provide as much community. It opened my eyes to how shitty life was for some of my peers and the terrors of their home life. I remember being terrified of the stage. Our band, Coracoid?, playing battle of the bands. I had a 15 second long solo that felt like torture. I remember Stuart looking at me before it started like “are you sure you can do this? don’t fuck this up.” He was a way better guitar player and I didn’t want to put the work in to get to his level.

Youth Ambassadors was one of my favorite communities. We would sing, dance, cook, build, care. And then things started to shift. When it was our turn to step up and lead, we shied away. Lori wasn’t happy with us. I remember her yelling at me over the phone and not knowing how to react. I deserved it. I remember her working so hard and picking up kids from all over the city to get us together. Working as a truancy officer, as fucked up as that title sounds, was fun. Chatting with kids that looked like me, trying to find a gameplan to get them back in the swing of class.

Sometimes I wish I had found one niche and stuck to it. I end up feeling like I did a bunch of things half way. Kind of like some of my Dad’s art projects. But its the journey not the destination right? I think so, but your journey gets bogged down when you’re dragging a bunch of half finished projects to the finish line.

It feels good to write. Sitting here at my desk in my bedroom that sometimes feels like a cave but looking out on our urban pool area and feeling blessed with the opportunity to explore. We are young and there is so much to be thankful for.

Hoping to hear back from John at CabinDAO. I’d love to help them put together some of the tiny homes and build out trails. I feel like previously I had wanted these types of interests to be equally pursued by me and sofia, but I’m realizing that won’t always be the case. I hope she supports me and I hope that I can support her while I’m trying to find spaces that excite me.

Waking up to a new calm that feels familiar. Motivated, ready to find new communities. Need to get out of my shell. Don’t be afraid of stupid questions. Find folks that want to build a better future.

Looking back on previous communities. Lowell Elementary and the trip to Lake Crescent. Learning the scientific method with peers. Asking questions. Feels like this is where I may have grown the most. And then things slowed a bit. Middle school didn’t provide as much community. It opened my eyes to how shitty life was for some of my peers and the terrors of their home life. I remember being terrified of the stage. Our band, Coracoid?, playing battle of the bands. I had a 15 second long solo that felt like torture. I remember Stuart looking at me before it started like “are you sure you can do this? don’t fuck this up.” He was a way better guitar player and I didn’t want to put the work in to get to his level.

Youth Ambassadors was one of my favorite communities. We would sing, dance, cook, build, care. And then things started to shift. When it was our turn to step up and lead, we shied away. Lori wasn’t happy with us. I remember her yelling at me over the phone and not knowing how to react. I deserved it. I remember her working so hard and picking up kids from all over the city to get us together. Working as a truancy officer, as fucked up as that title sounds, was fun. Chatting with kids that looked like me, trying to find a gameplan to get them back in the swing of class.

Sometimes I wish I had found one niche and stuck to it. I end up feeling like I did a bunch of things half way. Kind of like some of my Dad’s art projects. But its the journey not the destination right? I think so, but your journey gets bogged down when you’re dragging a bunch of half finished projects to the finish line.

It feels good to write. Sitting here at my desk in my bedroom that sometimes feels like a cave but looking out on our urban pool area and feeling blessed with the opportunity to explore. We are young and there is so much to be thankful for.

Hoping to hear back from John at CabinDAO. I’d love to help them put together some of the tiny homes and build out trails. I feel like previously I had wanted these types of interests to be equally pursued by me and sofia, but I’m realizing that won’t always be the case. I hope she supports me and I hope that I can support her while I’m trying to find spaces that excite me.