It's my birthday today and I'm turning 26. Another year older and supposedly wiser! Here are some recent thoughts and lessons I've learned:

Be courageous - be vulnerable

During a routine check-up at my gynaecologist's office a few weeks ago, I found myself sitting in the waiting room alongside 2-3 other women. A middle-aged lady entered the room looking visibly unwell. She sighed and appeared anxious and scared. Although I felt the urge to ask her if she was okay, I decided to ignore it.

Shortly after, another lady entered the room and within minutes carefully inquired about the first lady's well-being. This woman then burst into tears and revealed that she had just discovered a bump in her lower abdomen which could potentially be a tumour. Her husband had recently passed away, and she was already struggling to arrange his funeral. She was also worried about her teenage son and the potential diagnosis that lay ahead.

After the "ice was broken," I decided not to keep quiet. Along with the other women in the room, we made sure she was seen by the doctor and did our best to calm her down. Although she was still visibly upset, I sensed that she felt some relief. Being in a room surrounded by people while experiencing such mental anguish can be incredibly lonely. It's as if everything inside is burning, and outside, no one notices.

This experience highlighted two things for me. Firstly, it made me realize that we do care about strangers if we can relate to them. Pain and grief are things we can all relate to, and when someone shares their vulnerabilities, we feel a sense of relation and belonging. We can see that our insides should not be compared with others' outsides, but rather, we should compare our insides with other people's insides.

This experience reminded me to check in with people. If my intuition tells me that someone's not feeling well, why not ask?

Be courageous - be yourself

Over the past year, I've been on a journey of self-discovery, particularly when it comes to my style and clothing. Recently, I discovered Alok Venon, a poet, activist, writer, and performance artist. Alok's words about why gender non-conforming people face violence and discrimination really struck a chord with me. What they explain can be applied to a range of situations and thought patterns.

Alok says that even if you know you'll face discrimination, you should not stop showing your true self to the world. Not doing so would have worse consequences. You would have to hide, diminish yourself, and lie to yourself. To me, showing your true self to the outside world is an incredibly courageous move, even though I don't belong to an underrepresented group that faces discrimination.

But why can't some people accept that others look and act differently from them? Why do they need to point out differences or make negative comments? Alok says that these people aren't necessarily hateful towards those who look different. Rather, they can't face the fact that they have a choice: either to be free and express who they are or to keep themselves in a box, conforming to what they believe is expected of them. It's not the other person they can't stand; it's themselves.

I'm incredibly grateful, especially on my birthday, but every day, to have grown up in a family where self-expression was encouraged and supported. I aim to help others feel safe to do the same because how can we find our true tribe if we don't show who we really are?

It's my birthday today and I'm turning 26. Another year older and supposedly wiser! Here are some recent thoughts and lessons I've learned:

Be courageous - be vulnerable

During a routine check-up at my gynaecologist's office a few weeks ago, I found myself sitting in the waiting room alongside 2-3 other women. A middle-aged lady entered the room looking visibly unwell. She sighed and appeared anxious and scared. Although I felt the urge to ask her if she was okay, I decided to ignore it.

Shortly after, another lady entered the room and within minutes carefully inquired about the first lady's well-being. This woman then burst into tears and revealed that she had just discovered a bump in her lower abdomen which could potentially be a tumour. Her husband had recently passed away, and she was already struggling to arrange his funeral. She was also worried about her teenage son and the potential diagnosis that lay ahead.

After the "ice was broken," I decided not to keep quiet. Along with the other women in the room, we made sure she was seen by the doctor and did our best to calm her down. Although she was still visibly upset, I sensed that she felt some relief. Being in a room surrounded by people while experiencing such mental anguish can be incredibly lonely. It's as if everything inside is burning, and outside, no one notices.

This experience highlighted two things for me. Firstly, it made me realize that we do care about strangers if we can relate to them. Pain and grief are things we can all relate to, and when someone shares their vulnerabilities, we feel a sense of relation and belonging. We can see that our insides should not be compared with others' outsides, but rather, we should compare our insides with other people's insides.

This experience reminded me to check in with people. If my intuition tells me that someone's not feeling well, why not ask?

Be courageous - be yourself

Over the past year, I've been on a journey of self-discovery, particularly when it comes to my style and clothing. Recently, I discovered Alok Venon, a poet, activist, writer, and performance artist. Alok's words about why gender non-conforming people face violence and discrimination really struck a chord with me. What they explain can be applied to a range of situations and thought patterns.

Alok says that even if you know you'll face discrimination, you should not stop showing your true self to the world. Not doing so would have worse consequences. You would have to hide, diminish yourself, and lie to yourself. To me, showing your true self to the outside world is an incredibly courageous move, even though I don't belong to an underrepresented group that faces discrimination.

But why can't some people accept that others look and act differently from them? Why do they need to point out differences or make negative comments? Alok says that these people aren't necessarily hateful towards those who look different. Rather, they can't face the fact that they have a choice: either to be free and express who they are or to keep themselves in a box, conforming to what they believe is expected of them. It's not the other person they can't stand; it's themselves.

I'm incredibly grateful, especially on my birthday, but every day, to have grown up in a family where self-expression was encouraged and supported. I aim to help others feel safe to do the same because how can we find our true tribe if we don't show who we really are?