As my followers know, July and August have been tough months for me. All sorts of “challenges” presented themselves in quick succession as if they made an agreement to work together to trip me up. As a result, my brain decided to force a time-out. If I wasn’t going to take a voluntary break from life, then no more freedom for me. I need to realize the gravity of the situation and outline a plan of action before I end up in the hospital.

Events and challenges were coming at me a mile a minute and my brain was overwhelmed. It wanted me to be unconscious so it can have more time to process the data it had received without being interrupted by new data coming in. The stress aggravated my insomnia so I started staying up later while still having to wake up at the same time. My brain was having none of this nonsense. I found myself passing out after work and falling asleep in the middle of tasks such as watching tv or playing with my phone.

For the time being, I’ll allow it to shut me down. If I feel drowsy in the middle of the day, I‘ll take the nap. I won’t think about how it might screw up my sleep later at night. If it needs the time-out now, it’s going to get the time-out now.

I’m a multi-tasker and since I have zero patience, I also like to do things fast. With the mental state I’m in, I started to experience issues with completing tasks successfully if I continued at the breakneck speeds I was used to. For example, I found myself absentmindedly placing an oily spatula on top of the counter instead of on a plate or forgetting to give Hellcat a treat reward after she complied with a command. I almost walked off until I found it strange that she was hanging around looking like she was waiting for something, doh!

I’m trying to move slowly to give my brain more time to follow through and execute my commands. Like at the mall, I itch to walk briskly but I put down each foot firmly on the ground before I move my other foot. With the slower pace, I’m able to observe my surroundings and prevent absentminded accidents like falling down the stairs (yes, this has happened before because I was going too fast and lost my footing).

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Some challenges I faced were memory, concentration, and low energy issues. A lovely going away gift from our friend, Mr. Covid. Although I’m not geriatric yet, I feel like I already am. You know, with the slow, shuffling walk and the narcoleptic episodes where I just pass out, and

Anyways, I made heavier use of some helpful tools to take the pressure off my brain while it sorts things out. I set phone alerts for everything from waking up to reminding myself to take my vitamins. I write summaries and bullet point documents to organize my thoughts. I make checklists and input appointments into my calendar to help with remembering.

Additionally, it’s a good idea to prioritize your tasks so you can cut down on the number of things your mind needs to keep track of and your body can also rest. Obviously, there’s no negotiation for anything work-related so I gave up on my backyard instead. It has a nice assortment of beautifully coloured weeds now. I used to feel guilty and ashamed if I couldn’t keep it under control, but, my mental health is at stake.

After a day’s work, my mind is shot and I can barely drum up enough energy to cook. Dinner usually turns out to be microwaveable or canned meals, something I can throw in the oven, or take-out if I have enough energy for the drive. Getting some food into the system is better than nothing at all.

Attending social events plays an important part in keeping yourself sane. No matter how you deny it, humans are social creatures. We need the company of and interaction with other humans as part of a balanced, healthy life.

As part of my recovery plan, I’ve been dragging myself to attend all sorts of events from watching baseball games to after-work gatherings despite my aversion to crowds. Usually, I’m sitting down for these so that helps.

Small talk with absolute strangers such as customer service personnel or someone you meet in an elevator helps lift your mood and temporarily take your mind off other crap that’s happening in your life. Usually, if you’re friendly, the other party is also pleasant.

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Self-care seems routine and most people go about it on auto-pilot. However, these activities can be compromised when you don’t even have the energy to drag yourself out of bed. I try to focus on completing at least some of these tasks which include:

• personal hygiene (showers, dental care)

• diet (hydrating and making sure to eat and/or take vitamins if not eating)

• sleep hygiene (getting enough sleep, keeping a consistent sleep schedule)

• mental health (meditation, spending time in nature, playing with pets)

• physical health (yoga, strength-bearing & aerobic exercise, skin & nail care)

Progress has been slow and not linear. Some days I feel myself taking a few steps back instead of moving forward. The thing to remember is that this is not a race and there’s no deadline I need to meet.

Given the load I’ve been lugging, it’ll take some time for my mind to recover. My end goal is just to be able to go about my daily life without running out of steam too soon. Wish me luck.