We should spend a lot of time sorting out what is in our stretch zone. That is, sorting out what we "can do but are particularly wrong or can't do but can understand with a little effort", and then working on that area. If you're a parent, you should spend a lot of time exploring your child's stretch zone and coaching them to work at the edge of their comfort zone, rather than throwing tantrums at them when they don't do well, telling them how other people's kids are doing, and putting more work and difficulty on top students, which often backfires. In addition, many people say they are often distracted and not focused enough when studying, in fact, the reason is the same, because they may not deliberately pay attention to the difficulty of their learning content, adjust the pace of learning. My friend Song Dinghua is a senior engineer, and everyone calls him "Brother Song" in daily life. His child is now studying in high school, and his academic performance is always among the best. What is valuable is that his child never attends extracurricular classes, and he has a lot of time to play games in his spare time. At a party, I happened to be sitting with Brother Song and asked tentatively, "Do you take any special approach to your children's study?" Unexpectedly he simply said: "Yes!" I pricked up my ears and continued listening. He said, "There are just two things. One is to treat homework like an exam. Second, we only look for subjective reasons." I listened to a little confused, thought: this is the so-called secret of the excellent students? Especially the first one. I couldn't get the hang of it. Later, I realized that "treating homework like a test" was about keeping kids at the right p

ace. Because most children do their homework at home will be careless because of the lack of restrictions, for a while to go to the toilet, a while to drink water, encounter will not be stuck in a daze or immediately help, this state looks like learning all the time, in fact, is in the comfort zone dawdling, not only inefficient, but also particularly prone to mistakes. By forcing themselves to focus, to do the most questions in the shortest amount of time, and to do them correctly, like a test, they unconsciously push themselves to the edge of their comfort zone. In this state, the child will inevitably be extremely focused, learning efficiency and grades will naturally improve. We need to be on the edge of our comfort zone when it comes to things that require effort, but what about things that are effortless and even enjoyable? Like suddenly having a lot of time and money. I'm sure many people would like to have as much time and money as possible, but I urge you to be cautious because we often can't grasp things that are too far away from us, whether they are painful or enjoyable. In the summer of 2019, when a young teacher asked me a question, she said, "Others envy me for having summer and winter vacations, but I don't like it at all, because I don't have the ability to manage all the free time. Not only did my plans fall through, but my sleep schedule was messed up. I don't have any control over the holidays." Many students often leave messages to me, saying that after entering college, they suddenly don't feel as nervous as they did in their senior year. Although they are self-disciplined at the beginning of the semester, they soon become lazy, staying in the dormitory playing games and watching Douyin, unable to concentrate on their studies. Especially when they are alone and their time is up to them, they always unconsciously choose the most comfortable recreational activities.

It's free time out of their control -- they're out of control. Don't think that life without control is wonderful. Once we enter the time of total freedom, although it is comfortable at first, we soon get lost in the multitude of options -- do this or do that. Making choices is an extremely energy-consuming endeavor, and without a sense of clarity and concentration to match it, most people will eventually be driven by their powerful instincts to choose entertainment. We are more productive and live more fulfilling lives in a disciplined environment. When it comes to sudden wealth, most people are unlikely to have such luck, but we can look at the experiences of others. In 2002, the British man Carol won the prize of 9.7 million pounds, overnight from the garbage worker became super rich, and then he began to buy luxury homes, buy famous cars, drugs, gambling, 7 years later, the wealth was squandered, his wife left him, he had to do hard labor, living on the dole; In 2006, British woman Wendy Graham was left destitute after winning a £1 million prize that was spent within a year. According to statistics, the bankruptcy rate of lottery winners in the United States is as high as 75 percent every year. As a warning, we must stay awake and take a hard look at our ability to control our desires and not let tragedy happen. The ideal state is to continuously acquire wealth or freedom commensurate with one's current abilities. Parents should take a cue from this: it would be wise for us to pay attention to the degree to which our children are now controlling freedom and wealth, and to delegate or encourage them when appropriate. Spoiled parents often give their children a lot of decision-making power from an early age, let them decide what to eat, play and do, but the children have no corresponding ability to control, and eventually become self-righteous, selfish people, and the reason for these consequences is our lack of understanding of the concept of matching. People often talk about the underlying concept, the underlying law, but what is the underlying? In my opinion, the more phenomena can be explained, the lower the concept is. So once you've mastered the matching principle, you can explain other things yourself, like when someone asks you, "Is it better to practice writing on a day or week?" Say something like, "Either way, the key is whether you're practicing at the edge of your comfort zone. It doesn't matter how much you write if you're just writing from your comfort zone." Such a response would both give an open answer and capture the essence of the question. From this underlying concept, we can draw such a conclusion: no matter what you do, no matter how well you are doing, as long as you keep on practicing at the edge of your comfort zone, your comfort zone will continue to expand, your stretching zone will continue to expand, and the original difficult zone will gradually become a stretching zone, or even a comfort zone, so growth is inevitable. At the same time, we can also be sure: quick success is not possible. Because the circle of competence can only expand little by little, so as long as we follow the rules of matching, continue to stretch ourselves at the edge of our comfort zone, and are willing to make friends with time, then we are destined to continue to grow and reinvent ourselves.

We should spend a lot of time sorting out what is in our stretch zone. That is, sorting out what we "can do but are particularly wrong or can't do but can understand with a little effort", and then working on that area. If you're a parent, you should spend a lot of time exploring your child's stretch zone and coaching them to work at the edge of their comfort zone, rather than throwing tantrums at them when they don't do well, telling them how other people's kids are doing, and putting more work and difficulty on top students, which often backfires. In addition, many people say they are often distracted and not focused enough when studying, in fact, the reason is the same, because they may not deliberately pay attention to the difficulty of their learning content, adjust the pace of learning. My friend Song Dinghua is a senior engineer, and everyone calls him "Brother Song" in daily life. His child is now studying in high school, and his academic performance is always among the best. What is valuable is that his child never attends extracurricular classes, and he has a lot of time to play games in his spare time. At a party, I happened to be sitting with Brother Song and asked tentatively, "Do you take any special approach to your children's study?" Unexpectedly he simply said: "Yes!" I pricked up my ears and continued listening. He said, "There are just two things. One is to treat homework like an exam. Second, we only look for subjective reasons." I listened to a little confused, thought: this is the so-called secret of the excellent students? Especially the first one. I couldn't get the hang of it. Later, I realized that "treating homework like a test" was about keeping kids at the right p

ace. Because most children do their homework at home will be careless because of the lack of restrictions, for a while to go to the toilet, a while to drink water, encounter will not be stuck in a daze or immediately help, this state looks like learning all the time, in fact, is in the comfort zone dawdling, not only inefficient, but also particularly prone to mistakes. By forcing themselves to focus, to do the most questions in the shortest amount of time, and to do them correctly, like a test, they unconsciously push themselves to the edge of their comfort zone. In this state, the child will inevitably be extremely focused, learning efficiency and grades will naturally improve. We need to be on the edge of our comfort zone when it comes to things that require effort, but what about things that are effortless and even enjoyable? Like suddenly having a lot of time and money. I'm sure many people would like to have as much time and money as possible, but I urge you to be cautious because we often can't grasp things that are too far away from us, whether they are painful or enjoyable. In the summer of 2019, when a young teacher asked me a question, she said, "Others envy me for having summer and winter vacations, but I don't like it at all, because I don't have the ability to manage all the free time. Not only did my plans fall through, but my sleep schedule was messed up. I don't have any control over the holidays." Many students often leave messages to me, saying that after entering college, they suddenly don't feel as nervous as they did in their senior year. Although they are self-disciplined at the beginning of the semester, they soon become lazy, staying in the dormitory playing games and watching Douyin, unable to concentrate on their studies. Especially when they are alone and their time is up to them, they always unconsciously choose the most comfortable recreational activities.

It's free time out of their control -- they're out of control. Don't think that life without control is wonderful. Once we enter the time of total freedom, although it is comfortable at first, we soon get lost in the multitude of options -- do this or do that. Making choices is an extremely energy-consuming endeavor, and without a sense of clarity and concentration to match it, most people will eventually be driven by their powerful instincts to choose entertainment. We are more productive and live more fulfilling lives in a disciplined environment. When it comes to sudden wealth, most people are unlikely to have such luck, but we can look at the experiences of others. In 2002, the British man Carol won the prize of 9.7 million pounds, overnight from the garbage worker became super rich, and then he began to buy luxury homes, buy famous cars, drugs, gambling, 7 years later, the wealth was squandered, his wife left him, he had to do hard labor, living on the dole; In 2006, British woman Wendy Graham was left destitute after winning a £1 million prize that was spent within a year. According to statistics, the bankruptcy rate of lottery winners in the United States is as high as 75 percent every year. As a warning, we must stay awake and take a hard look at our ability to control our desires and not let tragedy happen. The ideal state is to continuously acquire wealth or freedom commensurate with one's current abilities. Parents should take a cue from this: it would be wise for us to pay attention to the degree to which our children are now controlling freedom and wealth, and to delegate or encourage them when appropriate. Spoiled parents often give their children a lot of decision-making power from an early age, let them decide what to eat, play and do, but the children have no corresponding ability to control, and eventually become self-righteous, selfish people, and the reason for these consequences is our lack of understanding of the concept of matching. People often talk about the underlying concept, the underlying law, but what is the underlying? In my opinion, the more phenomena can be explained, the lower the concept is. So once you've mastered the matching principle, you can explain other things yourself, like when someone asks you, "Is it better to practice writing on a day or week?" Say something like, "Either way, the key is whether you're practicing at the edge of your comfort zone. It doesn't matter how much you write if you're just writing from your comfort zone." Such a response would both give an open answer and capture the essence of the question. From this underlying concept, we can draw such a conclusion: no matter what you do, no matter how well you are doing, as long as you keep on practicing at the edge of your comfort zone, your comfort zone will continue to expand, your stretching zone will continue to expand, and the original difficult zone will gradually become a stretching zone, or even a comfort zone, so growth is inevitable. At the same time, we can also be sure: quick success is not possible. Because the circle of competence can only expand little by little, so as long as we follow the rules of matching, continue to stretch ourselves at the edge of our comfort zone, and are willing to make friends with time, then we are destined to continue to grow and reinvent ourselves.