One of the hardest things in life for me is to let it go.. whatever it is. Today, I was sorting through my old clothes as part of the very late spring cleaning. I found a couple of dress shirts that were more than 2 decades old. Miraculously, they still fit as I had been overweight, then slimmed down 6 sizes before regaining them all back. But that is not the point. Why was this “Arrow Trump” shirt in my wardrobe this long??

It was a gift, from a very special friend on a special occasion.

There are many such collectibles in my closet or drawer or a rusted steel trunk full of such “treasures”. My grandpa’s watch, that faded hat we had won in a contest, certificates of achievement that have lost their ink, a newspaper clipping of when I was in the local “news”, gifts from my fiance, now wife when we were engaged, all my medals from running, a picture of my first girlfriend in 1st grade, letters from my teachers, my earliest writings, and several other things.

Every now and then, I would come across these things by accident. I would really not be going looking for these things, but whenever I come across any of these, it would magically transport me back in time to that place when these things came into my life. I am gifted with a better than average memory and perhaps it is these things that keep my memory fresh, but I am able to briefly relive those magical moments. Sometimes these moments are over 2 or 3 decades in the past, other times more recent, whatever the time distance, it is always a special feeling.

In today’s case, it was this shirt, given by a special friend. It was a token of affection, of friendship that is still strong but was much more in its infancy back then when this gift was received. Since then a lot has transpired. The friendship has gone through its challenges but has always endured and the trust to this day, is unbroken.

On another day, I found my grandpa’s “Automatic” watch. “The West End Watch Company” it read. It was gifted to him for his retirement from the company that he joined as a teen and retired more than 4 decades later. The token of appreciation was not really material but was a gesture of value. My maternal grandpa left this world long ago, but he passed this special gift to his son-in-law, my father. My father cherishes watches like I know no other person to, well except me. But I am not a connoisseur or collector as he is. I collect memories, which is why this particular watch of my maternal grandpa is super special to me. That is one of the only material things I may have that belonged to him. So, I asked for this watch as I knew, I would keep it safe until it is time for me to pass it on to someone who would further its “time”. They would have never seen my maternal grandpa or appreciated the value of this gift, but I stay hopeful that they will keep it for my sake.

What is the point of all this? I ask myself very often and don’t have good answers. It gives me joy, takes me through a time portal into a different time, a time that will never come back, but can be replayed to give joy. Isn’t this better pleasure than alcohol, weed, or other intoxicants? Sure is. Will I feel sad if one day, all of this will be gone? Not really.. I have had a childhood experience of everything being taken from me by war, all my toys, my collectibles, my friends, my home, my pocket money, everything. But I live to remember those days, those friends, that home, my toys and what not. That to me is more valuable than if I could have had those things.

It is indeed an irony that I feel like I am pretty detached from material things, and yet, I have a hard time letting go of a few things I hold close and dear. Things I can never earn back or buy again. Things that will never come back if lost. One day it will all be taken away, but hey… until then… HANG ON! ;)

One of the hardest things in life for me is to let it go.. whatever it is. Today, I was sorting through my old clothes as part of the very late spring cleaning. I found a couple of dress shirts that were more than 2 decades old. Miraculously, they still fit as I had been overweight, then slimmed down 6 sizes before regaining them all back. But that is not the point. Why was this “Arrow Trump” shirt in my wardrobe this long??

It was a gift, from a very special friend on a special occasion.

There are many such collectibles in my closet or drawer or a rusted steel trunk full of such “treasures”. My grandpa’s watch, that faded hat we had won in a contest, certificates of achievement that have lost their ink, a newspaper clipping of when I was in the local “news”, gifts from my fiance, now wife when we were engaged, all my medals from running, a picture of my first girlfriend in 1st grade, letters from my teachers, my earliest writings, and several other things.

Every now and then, I would come across these things by accident. I would really not be going looking for these things, but whenever I come across any of these, it would magically transport me back in time to that place when these things came into my life. I am gifted with a better than average memory and perhaps it is these things that keep my memory fresh, but I am able to briefly relive those magical moments. Sometimes these moments are over 2 or 3 decades in the past, other times more recent, whatever the time distance, it is always a special feeling.

In today’s case, it was this shirt, given by a special friend. It was a token of affection, of friendship that is still strong but was much more in its infancy back then when this gift was received. Since then a lot has transpired. The friendship has gone through its challenges but has always endured and the trust to this day, is unbroken.

On another day, I found my grandpa’s “Automatic” watch. “The West End Watch Company” it read. It was gifted to him for his retirement from the company that he joined as a teen and retired more than 4 decades later. The token of appreciation was not really material but was a gesture of value. My maternal grandpa left this world long ago, but he passed this special gift to his son-in-law, my father. My father cherishes watches like I know no other person to, well except me. But I am not a connoisseur or collector as he is. I collect memories, which is why this particular watch of my maternal grandpa is super special to me. That is one of the only material things I may have that belonged to him. So, I asked for this watch as I knew, I would keep it safe until it is time for me to pass it on to someone who would further its “time”. They would have never seen my maternal grandpa or appreciated the value of this gift, but I stay hopeful that they will keep it for my sake.

What is the point of all this? I ask myself very often and don’t have good answers. It gives me joy, takes me through a time portal into a different time, a time that will never come back, but can be replayed to give joy. Isn’t this better pleasure than alcohol, weed, or other intoxicants? Sure is. Will I feel sad if one day, all of this will be gone? Not really.. I have had a childhood experience of everything being taken from me by war, all my toys, my collectibles, my friends, my home, my pocket money, everything. But I live to remember those days, those friends, that home, my toys and what not. That to me is more valuable than if I could have had those things.

It is indeed an irony that I feel like I am pretty detached from material things, and yet, I have a hard time letting go of a few things I hold close and dear. Things I can never earn back or buy again. Things that will never come back if lost. One day it will all be taken away, but hey… until then… HANG ON! ;)