What kind of man is really worth saving, we must listen to your reason.

Many women have a difficulty to overcome after discovering that men have betrayed.

That’s the difficulty of “I can’t figure it out”.

Can’t figure out what? There are two points:

First, since he made a mistake, why should I recover it?

Second, since he has betrayed, is it too shameless for me to recover?

Every time I send a video of how women save their marriage, there is always such a message in the comment area. I use rap to express it:

Yo yo

Men betray, women don’t be cheap

Divorce is the answer, recovery is kneeling and licking!

It’s better for a woman to live alone than to be alone.

Don’t pick up the RMB stained with shit!

If a man is shameless, you let him go

Don’t be wishful thinking, men will only get worse and worse!

How’s it going? Is it cool?

I tell you, all the cool is illusory. A woman’s independence begins with spiritual independence.

What is independence?

Is to have their own standards, their own bottom line, their own center, and not easily influenced by the outside world.

I have a student in the emotional counselor class. She said that at the beginning, she had been hesitant to divorce. At that time, her husband was very sincere to recover.

But her best friend threatened to break up with her, saying she couldn’t give the scum man another chance and must divorce. She listened to her best friend and divorced.

Not long after the divorce, her best friend’s husband was also out there. What did her best friend do? Try to recover.

She asked her best friend why she didn’t divorce her husband?

My best friend said: because your husband is too scum, my husband still has room for recycling.

What room does her husband have for recycling? Because of too much waves, they were infected by women outside.

She broke up with her best friend.

So I said, be careful of those who advise you to divorce.

They are not professionals, and they have never experienced your life difficulties. They just stand and talk without low back pain. Only when they fall into the pit can they understand your difficulties.

I said, it’s no use blaming your best friend. You divorced yourself when you got married. If you want to blame yourself, blame yourself for your lack of “opinion”. You didn’t understand two things before you were influenced and went astray.

First, we should understand:

1、 True self-esteem vs false self-esteem

The best thing I’ve ever heard about self-esteem is:

Self esteem is gifted and constant. It will not increase by half because others say hello, nor decrease by half because others say you are bad;

It is the most important thing you live in this world. It is an eternal and indelible light. The wind can shake it, but it must not be extinguished.

Many women will feel that men have betrayed me and said they have no feelings for me. They think it’s a mistake for us to be together. Beg me to set him free. When we are together, we are suffering and wasting our lives;

And that woman is his true love. His soul didn’t belong before. Now he has found a home. That’s the woman’s heart. I will never understand the love of the soul with the same heart

He belittled me to this point. Do I have to get it back? Am I too disrespectful?

My answer is:

Is your self-esteem determined by others? If others say hello, you are fine; People say you’re bad, you’re bad? Can’t you be the master of your self-esteem?

You can’t decide if he belittles you, but how do you treat yourself when others suppress you and deny you? Do you attack yourself with each other?

This is called “no self love”. This is called “false self-esteem”.

People who really love themselves and women who really have self-esteem will say to themselves:

This man now denies me worse than shit, but he has lived with me for so many years. Why does he suddenly and completely deny everything now?

First, because he was crazy about this woman.

Second, because of his midlife crisis, he wants to deny everything.

Then I know my value. Only when he recovers his reason can he see my value more objectively.

So I want him to realize my value and let him understand that he is crazy.

Such a dialogue has a structure, which means four layers:

1。 I found a loophole in this man’s discourse logic. His negation now contradicts his past efforts for this marriage.

2。 Find the reason behind my words.

3。 I recognize my value.

4。 I want to fight for my value.

Being able to calmly analyze problems, self repair and formulate strategies is the right way for a person to fight for his “self-esteem”.

With this idea, we will have a second judgment. I am now——

2、 True giving up vs false giving up

We don’t have to save the betrayed man. But is there an objective standard for our recovery? Or is it entirely subjective?

For example, men say you’re not a fart, so you lose heart and despair and want to give up marriage.

Two days later, the man boos you again, and you give some sunshine, so he wants to recover.

Whether you want to recover or not is a conditioned reflex stimulated by other people’s behavior. Or you want to give up in order to prevent your self-esteem from continuing to hurt. This kind of “giving up” is actually a “false giving up”.

I have seen too many women who live in a “double standard world”. On the one hand, they want to divorce and on the other hand, they want to recover.

When you want to recover, you attack yourself and feel cheap.

When you want to divorce, you attack yourself and are afraid to face the future life.

As a result, your behavior is self contradictory. When a man is away from you, you want to recover; When a man approaches you, you want a divorce.

Smash a pair of good cards alive and completely kill the promising marriage.

If you want to know what kind of man is really worth saving, you must listen to your reason, not your emotion.

What kind of man is really worth saving, we must listen to your reason.

Many women have a difficulty to overcome after discovering that men have betrayed.

That’s the difficulty of “I can’t figure it out”.

Can’t figure out what? There are two points:

First, since he made a mistake, why should I recover it?

Second, since he has betrayed, is it too shameless for me to recover?

Every time I send a video of how women save their marriage, there is always such a message in the comment area. I use rap to express it:

Yo yo

Men betray, women don’t be cheap

Divorce is the answer, recovery is kneeling and licking!

It’s better for a woman to live alone than to be alone.

Don’t pick up the RMB stained with shit!

If a man is shameless, you let him go

Don’t be wishful thinking, men will only get worse and worse!

How’s it going? Is it cool?

I tell you, all the cool is illusory. A woman’s independence begins with spiritual independence.

What is independence?

Is to have their own standards, their own bottom line, their own center, and not easily influenced by the outside world.

I have a student in the emotional counselor class. She said that at the beginning, she had been hesitant to divorce. At that time, her husband was very sincere to recover.

But her best friend threatened to break up with her, saying she couldn’t give the scum man another chance and must divorce. She listened to her best friend and divorced.

Not long after the divorce, her best friend’s husband was also out there. What did her best friend do? Try to recover.

She asked her best friend why she didn’t divorce her husband?

My best friend said: because your husband is too scum, my husband still has room for recycling.

What room does her husband have for recycling? Because of too much waves, they were infected by women outside.

She broke up with her best friend.

So I said, be careful of those who advise you to divorce.

They are not professionals, and they have never experienced your life difficulties. They just stand and talk without low back pain. Only when they fall into the pit can they understand your difficulties.

I said, it’s no use blaming your best friend. You divorced yourself when you got married. If you want to blame yourself, blame yourself for your lack of “opinion”. You didn’t understand two things before you were influenced and went astray.

First, we should understand:

1、 True self-esteem vs false self-esteem

The best thing I’ve ever heard about self-esteem is:

Self esteem is gifted and constant. It will not increase by half because others say hello, nor decrease by half because others say you are bad;

It is the most important thing you live in this world. It is an eternal and indelible light. The wind can shake it, but it must not be extinguished.

Many women will feel that men have betrayed me and said they have no feelings for me. They think it’s a mistake for us to be together. Beg me to set him free. When we are together, we are suffering and wasting our lives;

And that woman is his true love. His soul didn’t belong before. Now he has found a home. That’s the woman’s heart. I will never understand the love of the soul with the same heart

He belittled me to this point. Do I have to get it back? Am I too disrespectful?

My answer is:

Is your self-esteem determined by others? If others say hello, you are fine; People say you’re bad, you’re bad? Can’t you be the master of your self-esteem?

You can’t decide if he belittles you, but how do you treat yourself when others suppress you and deny you? Do you attack yourself with each other?

This is called “no self love”. This is called “false self-esteem”.

People who really love themselves and women who really have self-esteem will say to themselves:

This man now denies me worse than shit, but he has lived with me for so many years. Why does he suddenly and completely deny everything now?

First, because he was crazy about this woman.

Second, because of his midlife crisis, he wants to deny everything.

Then I know my value. Only when he recovers his reason can he see my value more objectively.

So I want him to realize my value and let him understand that he is crazy.

Such a dialogue has a structure, which means four layers:

1。 I found a loophole in this man’s discourse logic. His negation now contradicts his past efforts for this marriage.

2。 Find the reason behind my words.

3。 I recognize my value.

4。 I want to fight for my value.

Being able to calmly analyze problems, self repair and formulate strategies is the right way for a person to fight for his “self-esteem”.

With this idea, we will have a second judgment. I am now——

2、 True giving up vs false giving up

We don’t have to save the betrayed man. But is there an objective standard for our recovery? Or is it entirely subjective?

For example, men say you’re not a fart, so you lose heart and despair and want to give up marriage.

Two days later, the man boos you again, and you give some sunshine, so he wants to recover.

Whether you want to recover or not is a conditioned reflex stimulated by other people’s behavior. Or you want to give up in order to prevent your self-esteem from continuing to hurt. This kind of “giving up” is actually a “false giving up”.

I have seen too many women who live in a “double standard world”. On the one hand, they want to divorce and on the other hand, they want to recover.

When you want to recover, you attack yourself and feel cheap.

When you want to divorce, you attack yourself and are afraid to face the future life.

As a result, your behavior is self contradictory. When a man is away from you, you want to recover; When a man approaches you, you want a divorce.

Smash a pair of good cards alive and completely kill the promising marriage.

If you want to know what kind of man is really worth saving, you must listen to your reason, not your emotion.