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I recently purchased the new iPhone 15 Pro for $2049 AUD and have noticed I've been engaging in odd behaviour. I've tried to hide my new phone when other people are around, pretending as if I was still using an old phone.
So, I ask myself, why have I been doing this?
Upon introspection, it is obvious that I am ashamed of having spent so much money to buy this phone. I have valid reasons for buying the phone, but not enough to justify the cost. Where others face the temptation to show off, I experience the opposite. I try to hide my wealth, and pretend that I am more humble than I actually am.
Shame is one of the most powerful motivators of human behaviour, and it reveals deep truths about how we perceive ourselves.
Shame has revealed my deep sense of guilt about the wealth that I have. Being middle class in Sydney, Australia means that I have an immense amount of wealth in comparison to the rest of the world. The wealth disparity between me and the billions of people below the poverty line disgusts me. But the problem isn’t having wealth; it’s consuming it. Anyone with even a sliver of a conscience will feel some kind of remorse towards this. When the equivalent amount of money could have restored the sight of ~80 people via the Fred Hollows Foundation, how can I not feel ashamed?
My response to this guilt has been to not squander this wealth, and instead go forth and do something that can have a lasting positive impact on society. I feel that I owe it to the world to try and create something great. Whether I succeed or not is irrelevant; the striving is what matters. That way I can atone for my sins. History has shown that it is more effective to raise the ceiling rather than lift the floor. Widespread quality of life changes happen through advancements that increase the limit of human potential. The wealth that is created flows on to the rest of society. That is what I'm trying to do.
I've observed another response to this guilt and shame. It is to advocate for social progress and support those who are worse off. By partaking in actions that show alignment with those who are less well off, they justify themselves. It is closely related with White Guilt, and is the typical response of liberals.
I don't think this is the most effective response for reasons I've mentioned above, but I can appreciate the concern behind it. No one wants to feel like a bad person, yet if you're reading this, you're almost certainly wealthy enough to feel bad about it. This is quite literally a first world problem, but it is unavoidable. So the question becomes: how do you respond?
So much of our behaviour is tied towards justifying ourselves, to relieve ourselves of shame and guilt. You just need to look out for it.
Thanks for reading Meditations! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

I recently purchased the new iPhone 15 Pro for $2049 AUD and have noticed I've been engaging in odd behaviour. I've tried to hide my new phone when other people are around, pretending as if I was still using an old phone.
So, I ask myself, why have I been doing this?
Upon introspection, it is obvious that I am ashamed of having spent so much money to buy this phone. I have valid reasons for buying the phone, but not enough to justify the cost. Where others face the temptation to show off, I experience the opposite. I try to hide my wealth, and pretend that I am more humble than I actually am.
Shame is one of the most powerful motivators of human behaviour, and it reveals deep truths about how we perceive ourselves.
Shame has revealed my deep sense of guilt about the wealth that I have. Being middle class in Sydney, Australia means that I have an immense amount of wealth in comparison to the rest of the world. The wealth disparity between me and the billions of people below the poverty line disgusts me. But the problem isn’t having wealth; it’s consuming it. Anyone with even a sliver of a conscience will feel some kind of remorse towards this. When the equivalent amount of money could have restored the sight of ~80 people via the Fred Hollows Foundation, how can I not feel ashamed?
My response to this guilt has been to not squander this wealth, and instead go forth and do something that can have a lasting positive impact on society. I feel that I owe it to the world to try and create something great. Whether I succeed or not is irrelevant; the striving is what matters. That way I can atone for my sins. History has shown that it is more effective to raise the ceiling rather than lift the floor. Widespread quality of life changes happen through advancements that increase the limit of human potential. The wealth that is created flows on to the rest of society. That is what I'm trying to do.
I've observed another response to this guilt and shame. It is to advocate for social progress and support those who are worse off. By partaking in actions that show alignment with those who are less well off, they justify themselves. It is closely related with White Guilt, and is the typical response of liberals.
I don't think this is the most effective response for reasons I've mentioned above, but I can appreciate the concern behind it. No one wants to feel like a bad person, yet if you're reading this, you're almost certainly wealthy enough to feel bad about it. This is quite literally a first world problem, but it is unavoidable. So the question becomes: how do you respond?
So much of our behaviour is tied towards justifying ourselves, to relieve ourselves of shame and guilt. You just need to look out for it.
Thanks for reading Meditations! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
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