This might seem slightly self-help coded and controversial, but I feel it's necessary to talk about what helped me realize that there's more to life than work and that feeling fulfilled personally (first) leads to extraordinarily better outcomes. Too many founders are continually burning out from a self-destructive culture cultivated by venture capital, post dotcom startups, and the ugly side of hustle-and-grind culture - specifically in software.

Oftentimes, I find LinkedIn-coded advice floating around startups that center on founders having to live and die for their startup. I believe it's important for founders to make their startup a significant part of their life and to be dedicated to solving the problem they set out to solve. However, I think it's important to recognize that the death of a startup is common and that the only way to succeed is to have your personal needs met before even being able to focus on a business.

That is to say - if your startup dies, everything will be okay, and that's the healthiest way to be an operator. You should be afraid of your startup not succeeding because you care about your idea, not because of the death of the startup itself. Your life and personal needs should come first, and you should also have a healthy degree of disconnection from your work life. There are two 'zones of reality': your life, in which you need to first find your fulfillment and comfort, and your job, which is the cherry on top.

Fulfillment in work is a product of your personal needs being met.

Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs illustrates the original part quite well, outlining what people truly require in their life, and in what order. It starts with basic needs such as physiological (food, water, rest) and safety, followed by psychological needs such as belongingness and love, and finally, self-fulfillment at the top (once all other needs are met).

What has been distorted is the inclusion of one's startup fitting in the belonging, esteem, and self-actualization categories when it should sit atop self-actualization as a tiny part of it. Self-actualization should come from one's personal creativity, spontaneity, hobbies, and more - not the development of software for capital reasons. The way I've found useful to balance this has been through entrepreneurial nihilism.

Entrepreneurial Nihilism is the idea that a founder can first accept the upper bound of what they do as "important" in many contexts, but is oftentimes meaningless in the greater scheme of things. The next SaaS, productivity app, ad network, or game won't be the next great thing for the world, even if it achieves a critical mass of users or occupies someone's attention for a given period. It may be part of this small part of self-actualization for someone to build and ship something, but it shouldn't define your entire life and personality.

Through this awful blend of work with someone's needs, we've also created this idea of a performative "founder struggle" as something to be admired. The performative "founder struggle" is for social media; it's not healthy or productive. You getting no sleep, existing on a beanbag chair, and bragging about how hard you're working isn't cute or healthy when you could be taking care of yourself and getting more meaningful output in a shorter amount of time.

The artificial LinkedIn crowd might applaud this, but you're effectively handicapped in any productivity you think you're having.

And that is the core of entrepreneurial nihilism. You will create your best work when you're not making work your entire personality and neglecting your personal needs. I'm not saying to not care about your business; I'm saying you shouldn't make your business your life so you can be a more fulfilled person and take that energy back to your business.

One additional note in light of this as well - there are many people who could create great businesses but are unfortunately still managing the bottom of the pyramid. These people are often overlooked and should instead be highlighted wherever possible. Please don’t talk to me about the Stanford grad “roughing it” when they have a family and their basic needs met to fall back on.

Nobody genuinely struggling has the full opportunity to put themselves 100% into their business, and it's also why founders from these backgrounds are often unfortunately overlooked and are few and far between. When you're still at the bottom of the hierarchy of needs dealing with your personal life or taking care of your family and don't have the means to dedicate that time to a business, it should be obvious why this is the case. If you have the means to focus on yourself, do that first - don't put on a show for social media.

When I go to happy hours or meet people at events - even networking events about a particular subject- there's a time and place to talk about software. Let's talk about food, let's talk about hobbies, let's talk about sports. I don't care about "what you do" when I first meet you - we'll get to that later. Be an entrepreneurial nihilist. Take care of yourself, and don't form a personality around your work life. Enjoy your work, but don't let it consume you.

Go touch grass, don't worry - your startup will be here when you return.