Rick and Morty: The NFT scene

If you love bad fan fiction, this post is for you.

This scene was written by OpenAI and a shitload of refreshing/iterating the prompt: “Rick and Morty argue about NFTs”. Obviously, you can’t generate this many tokens in a single output - so the editor (me), did take artistic liberty in the order of the scene outputs.

The images are generated from masterofallscience - I used screencaps to help illustrate it visually (forgive me that I pulled from a million different scenes, this took forever as it stands, which is a lot for something that will ultimately read as gigacringe).

If this argument sounds familiar - it’s because we’re living in a digital purgatorial hellscape. Nothing sums up the modern condition like an AI pulling context from “Rick & Morty” scripts and Reddit comments. Whether you’re “pro-NFT” or a hater, feel free to share this scene with people you’re arguing with on Twitter to save time since all of these arguments end up being the same.

Without further ado, here’s “Rick and Morty Argue About NFTs” by OpenAI’s davinci-002

Morty: Hey Rick, I've been thinking about those NFTs. I don't think they're a good idea.

Morty: Well, for one, it's not a very efficient way to support artists. If you want to support an artist, you should just donate to their Patreon or something.

Rick: Patreon is for people who can't afford to buy art. I'm trying to support the artist, not just give them money for Starbucks.

Morty: But don't you think it's a little unethical? And what about the environment? NFTs are bad for the environment!

Rick: They're not bad for the environment. And even if they were, the environment is getting fucked regardless. This is the dawn of a new art renaissance.

Morty: But the energy required to mint an NFT is huge. And for what? So some rich person can own a digital file?

Rick: Some rich person is going to own anything, Morty. Might as well be something that supports the artist.

Rick: It doesn't matter if it's right or wrong. It's happening. And there's nothing we can do to stop it.

Morty: We have to try, Rick. We can't just sit back and let the world be ruined by NFTs.

Rick: The world is going to be ruined by a lot of things, Morty. NFTs are just one of them.

Morty: People are spending millions of dollars on digital art that's not even worth anything. They're getting scammed!

Rick: Scams exist outside of NFTs, Morty. There's no reason to believe that NFTs are any different.

Morty: You're not listening, people are getting ripped off, Rick! They're spending all this money on something that has no value.

Rick: Value is subjective, Morty. Just because something doesn't have a monetary value doesn't mean it has no value.

Morty: But people are being taken advantage of, Rick! They're buying something that they think is worth a lot of money, but it's really not.

Rick: That's not necessarily a bad thing, Morty. People are willing to spend their money on something they believe in. And if they're willing to do that, then more power to them.

Rick: Like what, Morty? Buying overpriced art in a gallery? That's not exactly supporting the artist, now is it?

Morty: But why do artists need to make money off of their art?

Rick: Because they're artists, Morty. They need to make a living somehow.

Morty: But why can't they just sell their art to friends and family?

Rick: Because not everyone can afford to buy art, Morty. And if artists can't make a living, they'll stop making art.

Morty: Rick, it's n-n-not just about the money. People are stealing art and selling it as NFTs.

Rick: Stop being a little bitch, Morty! People are willingly buying ripoff Gucci bags in Times Square but you're getting all worked up over some digital art?

Rick: It's exactly the same, you little shit! People are idiots and they'll buy anything if you package it right.

Rick: Oh, really? Then explain to me why your sister is still wearing that ridiculous "I <3 Boobies" bracelet from 5th grade.

Rick: And you know what? The world is run by idiots, Morty. Idiots! And you're one of them!

Rick: The principle of what, Morty? That people are idiots? That's not a principle, it's a fact. And you know what? I'm going to make money off of these idiots, so why don't you just shut the fuck up and be happy for me?

Morty: I-I can't, Rick. I just can't. It's wrong.

Rick: Morty, you're just upset because you don't understand how they work.

Morty: I don't care how they work! I know they're a scam!

Morty: I'm not being ridiculous! This is important!

Morty: I can't calm down! This is serious, Rick!

Rick: Morty, I'm serious too. You need to calm down.

Morty: Fine. I-I-I'll calm down. But antstyle says NFTs are a scam and I read his article about them.

Rick: Morty, you're on Twitter too much. You need to stay off of there and stop reading that bullshit.

Morty: But Rick, even Vitalik says they're a bad idea.

Morty: No, but- what about the people who can't afford to buy the art?

Rick: They can still enjoy it, Morty. Just like you can enjoy a painting in a museum without buying it.

Morty: But what about the people who can't afford the internet?

Morty, what are you, the Encino Man? Look at them on the internet. The internet is more than TikTok and PornHub.

Rick: For fuck's sake, Morty! Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it's bad. There's more to life than money.

But what about the people who can't afford to live?

Rick: No. No more "what abouts!" We're not doing this.

The end

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