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(If you only want the life update, scroll all the way down.)
You Will Die with Regrets (and Not Find Your Perfect Partner)
Okay, hear me out!
I’m known for being the girl who believes you can achieve anything.
But… (can’t believe I’m saying this) I’m not so sure anymore—or at least it’s a little more complex than that.
What happened?
I listened to this interview with author Alain de Botton, and he said something interesting:
"It’s impossible to die without regrets."
Not because you lack the ability to achieve, but because of your unparalleled ability to imagine.
As long as you can imagine things being better... There will always be more stuff to do, have, or want…
The same is true for dating and marriage.
I heard the divorce lawyer, James Saxton, once say (and I´m paraphrasing here):
“Of course your husband can’t compete with your imaginary husband! Your imaginary husband will always be better - he´ll be the perfect husband - because you´ve made him so.”
True, I mean, who fantasizes about people with flaws? No one. (at least not that I know of)
Now, I want you to have high standards and big dreams—but I’ve started to think there’s something in asking yourself:
"How much imperfection can I tolerate in my life?"
And when it comes to your partner:
Share Dialog
I think it’s worth asking, so that you don’t walk around miserable all the time because reality never matches up to your imagination.
To drive this point home, I wanted to add a quote by Alex Hormozi that I also included in my last book:
(Btw, you can order my book here or DM me on Instagram (@saraendestad) if you want a signed copy)
Ok!! Time for life updates:
Guys, in case you couldn’t tell by this post…
Life is currently extremely demanding. Now, I’ve been working so hard for so many years —
I got into the National Ballet School when I was 16...
then got into medical school when I was 18...
then started my first business when I was 23 and had 2 employees and 17 active clients within the next few years...
I know how to work hard; it’s pretty much the only thing I know....
But now I’m realizing that if I want this therapy to work, I need to slow down.
I need to spend my time between sessions actually letting the therapy work (in addition to the fact that it takes a lot of energy, mental space, and sleep).
After talking to my doctor and therapist, I’ve realized that maybe… just maybe I should slow it down a bit — not work as much or as hard.
I’m sharing for two reasons:
Because then I get to share more about how I’m creating not only a business that I love, but also one that’s sustainable and doesn’t require me to work hard.
To show you that people who work hard are human, and that those who choose not to work every hour, every minute, can also achieve success (my goal right now is to prove that — to you and to me).
So yeah, stay tuned for next week!
/Sara ❤️
2 comments
This piece explores the tension between imagination and imperfection — how our limitless capacity to envision “better” versions of life, love, and ourselves guarantees that reality will always fall short. It’s a visual and emotional meditation on the human tendency to idealize, to dream beyond what’s possible, and to feel restless even in moments of fulfillment. Inspired by Alain de Botton’s reflections on regret and James Saxton’s insights on marriage, it reminds us that perfection is a mirage — and peace comes from learning how much imperfection we can gracefully hold.
Yess, Eu-pretinx! Love how you put it so eloquently when writing "our limitless capacity to envision “better” versions of life, love, and ourselves guarantees that reality will always fall short" . Such a great comment, thank you :))