I wake up softly after 10 days of meditation in silence at the Vipassana Centre in Limburg, Flanders. The world is so loud! And what a slow magical journey in silence it was again. Seated on a pillow of 50cm2.

On the path you see on the picture, I must have walked about 70 km. I counted 800 steps from the female residence, till the entrance of the meditation hall, following the loop in the pasture, then along the path in the woods and back. A crew of forest animals brightened my days. The squirrel, the titmouse, the woodpecker, the blackbird, the dove, the robin, the sparrow, the fellow human being, the stork and the flying goose. Spring took a head start while I was there. And, not to forget the spider, a huge daddy longlegs, who resided in the corner of my bathroom and showed me like a fully qualified zen master how to sit motionless for hours.

For those not familiar with Vipassana, it is an ancient Buddhist meditation technique. You learn to master the technique by isolating yourself for 10 days (no writing, no reading, no talking), meditating for about 10 hours a day (between 4 am and 9pm) and focussing completely on practising and understanding the wisdom that is hiding in it. It’s not an easy ride. Inch by inch you learn to observe every sensation on your skin, sharpen your brain till it is razor sharp, and you experience deeply that your body is just a bubble bag built of tiny energy particles. Your guide and guru of service is Mr. Goenka, a hilarious, brilliant Indian teacher, who skilfully talks you through the days.

Around day four, strong determination is introduced and you are no longer allowed to move during the group sittings. Your body aches. Your knees scream. Slowly you learn how to stop paying more attention to your painful knee (or your numerous inner storms of frustration, sadness, anger) than to the pleasant tickly feeling under your nose. All sensations, all voices become equally important. You sense. You observe. Whatever happens, you sit, until you realise equanimously that everything in nature emerges to disappear. #anitya

It is a serious test. My wobbly neighbour, using Reflex spray to calm down her sore muscles (really! the smell!) had a complete nervous breakdown on day 4. In these moments, the true power of a community shows. While she was sobbing, crashing, crying loud, we answered by sitting quietly around her. We all carried her pain. What was in her, was in us. 

My own equanimity got tested on day 6. I felt light and happy the first week, dancing through it, dedicated to bringing my thoughts back to my body whenever they walked away with me. Taming the brain. But on day 6, in the early morning, a light wave of sadness made its entrance. It was there to stay, refused to leave. No matter what I tried. By day 8, a deeply rooted urge to rebel for my life bubbled up and took over. A strong ‘no’-voice in need of immediate attention. And I made a decision: for one hour I’m gonna rebel. I’m gonna read a book to feed my hungry mind.

And read I did. For a full hour, I lost myself completely in reading somebody else’s thoughts. Hyper focused, I activated my brain with thoughts, wonders, dreams, plans, thinking about society, about collapse. I don’t think I have been so focused on reading since, I don’t know, before Facebook. On top of that, I could actually remember what I had read afterwards too. Literally a mind-blowing experience, giving in to my human addiction to brainfood.

If we had been designed to stick to an area of 50 cm2, though, we would have been an oak. We are, obviously, not. We are humans. A quite lively one in my case. Unlike the oak tree, nature blessed humans with an extra challenge: a brain that loves to distract us continuously from … being. We think ourselves into concepts like future and past, into aversions or cravings and we detach from our bodies. When that happens, Mr. Ego feels completely entitled to buy yet another pair of shoes, to create beauty ideals and judgements, to take control, start a war, pollute the environment and organise industrial farming. Cognitive dissonance. Our minds can simply not understand the complexity of just being.

Humans think, therefore they are not. 

“Vipassana does not make you a plant though,” the teacher told me when I asked her when to move my legs in life, conscious of our active human nature, feeling the urge to act instead of feeling the power of now. I tried to grasp what meditation and strong determination was teaching me about life. It makes sense in a mediation hall, to sit still, respectful of the silence and very aware of your impact on others. But I want to be free. To live. To bike feeling the sun and the wind. I want to move my legs all the time. “Move your legs with a calm and conscious mind,” she added. Live consciously. It is easier said than done.

I left on 23/02 in the evening. I had no idea about what would happen the next day. While 70 people where fighting their inner wars with love and compassion towards themselves and others, distracted minds preferred ego and violence towards others. To be or not to be.

At peace.

It is heart breaking. 

May all beings be happy ❤️☀️

#equanimity #vipassana #meditation #consciousness #thepowerofnow #mindfullness #anitya #impermanence #peace #harmony

I wake up softly after 10 days of meditation in silence at the Vipassana Centre in Limburg, Flanders. The world is so loud! And what a slow magical journey in silence it was again. Seated on a pillow of 50cm2.

On the path you see on the picture, I must have walked about 70 km. I counted 800 steps from the female residence, till the entrance of the meditation hall, following the loop in the pasture, then along the path in the woods and back. A crew of forest animals brightened my days. The squirrel, the titmouse, the woodpecker, the blackbird, the dove, the robin, the sparrow, the fellow human being, the stork and the flying goose. Spring took a head start while I was there. And, not to forget the spider, a huge daddy longlegs, who resided in the corner of my bathroom and showed me like a fully qualified zen master how to sit motionless for hours.

For those not familiar with Vipassana, it is an ancient Buddhist meditation technique. You learn to master the technique by isolating yourself for 10 days (no writing, no reading, no talking), meditating for about 10 hours a day (between 4 am and 9pm) and focussing completely on practising and understanding the wisdom that is hiding in it. It’s not an easy ride. Inch by inch you learn to observe every sensation on your skin, sharpen your brain till it is razor sharp, and you experience deeply that your body is just a bubble bag built of tiny energy particles. Your guide and guru of service is Mr. Goenka, a hilarious, brilliant Indian teacher, who skilfully talks you through the days.

Around day four, strong determination is introduced and you are no longer allowed to move during the group sittings. Your body aches. Your knees scream. Slowly you learn how to stop paying more attention to your painful knee (or your numerous inner storms of frustration, sadness, anger) than to the pleasant tickly feeling under your nose. All sensations, all voices become equally important. You sense. You observe. Whatever happens, you sit, until you realise equanimously that everything in nature emerges to disappear. #anitya

It is a serious test. My wobbly neighbour, using Reflex spray to calm down her sore muscles (really! the smell!) had a complete nervous breakdown on day 4. In these moments, the true power of a community shows. While she was sobbing, crashing, crying loud, we answered by sitting quietly around her. We all carried her pain. What was in her, was in us. 

My own equanimity got tested on day 6. I felt light and happy the first week, dancing through it, dedicated to bringing my thoughts back to my body whenever they walked away with me. Taming the brain. But on day 6, in the early morning, a light wave of sadness made its entrance. It was there to stay, refused to leave. No matter what I tried. By day 8, a deeply rooted urge to rebel for my life bubbled up and took over. A strong ‘no’-voice in need of immediate attention. And I made a decision: for one hour I’m gonna rebel. I’m gonna read a book to feed my hungry mind.

And read I did. For a full hour, I lost myself completely in reading somebody else’s thoughts. Hyper focused, I activated my brain with thoughts, wonders, dreams, plans, thinking about society, about collapse. I don’t think I have been so focused on reading since, I don’t know, before Facebook. On top of that, I could actually remember what I had read afterwards too. Literally a mind-blowing experience, giving in to my human addiction to brainfood.

If we had been designed to stick to an area of 50 cm2, though, we would have been an oak. We are, obviously, not. We are humans. A quite lively one in my case. Unlike the oak tree, nature blessed humans with an extra challenge: a brain that loves to distract us continuously from … being. We think ourselves into concepts like future and past, into aversions or cravings and we detach from our bodies. When that happens, Mr. Ego feels completely entitled to buy yet another pair of shoes, to create beauty ideals and judgements, to take control, start a war, pollute the environment and organise industrial farming. Cognitive dissonance. Our minds can simply not understand the complexity of just being.

Humans think, therefore they are not. 

“Vipassana does not make you a plant though,” the teacher told me when I asked her when to move my legs in life, conscious of our active human nature, feeling the urge to act instead of feeling the power of now. I tried to grasp what meditation and strong determination was teaching me about life. It makes sense in a mediation hall, to sit still, respectful of the silence and very aware of your impact on others. But I want to be free. To live. To bike feeling the sun and the wind. I want to move my legs all the time. “Move your legs with a calm and conscious mind,” she added. Live consciously. It is easier said than done.

I left on 23/02 in the evening. I had no idea about what would happen the next day. While 70 people where fighting their inner wars with love and compassion towards themselves and others, distracted minds preferred ego and violence towards others. To be or not to be.

At peace.

It is heart breaking. 

May all beings be happy ❤️☀️

#equanimity #vipassana #meditation #consciousness #thepowerofnow #mindfullness #anitya #impermanence #peace #harmony