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Blog iconThe Bella Donna.XYZ
May 16

Refusing to become invisible; or (re)finding myself after losing my activist identity

Middle-aged woman living in the Middle East. With a resident’s visa that read “housewife” as occupation.That was what my life had become. How much my life had changed because of my decision to follow my husband to the United Arab Emirates for his work. I had been an activist, fighting vocally for marine conservation in my home country of Australia, securing the support of celebrities like Ricky Gervais and Richard Branson, featuring in various documentaries, interviewed regularly, and making ...

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The American worship of stuff-- Exploring privilege in Cambodia

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Finding and losing myself in the Negev desert

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The 90-Year-Old Pond: Our Mississippi homestead, my father, and me

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I'm a woman incarcerated in the United States, and this is my story

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I said I'd never have an abortion

The Bella Donna.XYZ

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The Bella Donna.XYZ

The Bella Donna.XYZ is a media platform where women are invited to write anonymously about the topics that really matter to them.

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Blog iconThe Bella Donna.XYZ
May 15
Finding and losing myself in the Negev desert
Exile from Babylon.Babylon, in biblical imagery, is the city of the abyss, sensual pleasure, appearance, and image. It is a city, an enemy of God and His people. For me, it is Tel Aviv. Where I live, yet, in total opposition with what I truly love. The desert. I’ll try to “tell” the desert here, but “telling” the desert is telling the ineffective and intimate at both times. It’s like trying to pronounce the unpronounceable. The desert can be described scientifically, geologically. One can des...
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Blog iconThe Bella Donna.XYZ
May 15
The 90-Year-Old Pond: Our Mississippi homestead, my father, and me
In front of me stood a 90-year-old pond.At least, that’s how old I think it is. I can never remember if my father told me its correct age. I can remember years ago on a warm summer day how my 70-year-old father stood on the bank of the pond with a stern, starry-eyed nostalgic gaze across the glassy, dark brown water. Around him, spring green leaves with hexagonal patterns of light and shadows played with each other on the bank like iridescent ghosts from a forgotten past. In a coarse voice, h...
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Blog iconThe Bella Donna.XYZ
May 10
The American worship of stuff-- Exploring privilege in Cambodia
The first time I visited my family in the US since moving to Siem Reap, Cambodia, we stopped in the middle of a long drive to pick something up at a Super Walmart.Inside I found row after row of goods—everything you could ever want, and plenty that you would never need. Independent Roomba vacuums? A dozen varieties of cheese? A wall attachment to hold a wine glass when you’re sitting in the bathtub? I thought back to Chao Sang Hok, then Siem Reap’s largest grocery store, where I’d gone every ...
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Blog iconThe Bella Donna.XYZ
May 7
I said I'd never have an abortion
I’ve always wanted to be a mother.Always had a deep desire to care for the people around me. When my sister was barely five and stopped eating when her food allergies had gotten the best of her, I was the one who managed to spoon some food in her anyway, aged eight. When a 5-year-old Vietnamese boy who didn’t speak our language joined us in the after-school care, I was the one who was able to comfort him and got him to settle in, aged nine. People often think I must work with children. They t...
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Blog iconThe Bella Donna.XYZ
May 7
Postpartum depression nearly killed me
Content Advisory ⚠️ : This post contains strong language and references to intrusive thoughts, depression, and suicide.It’s not that I’m depressed.I wouldn’t call it that. After all, it’s not that black and white. It’s shades of gray.Everything is fucking gray.I’m a watercolor painting left in the rain, my colors streaming down my face, puddling at my feet, washing away my identity. Who I was is gone, and I am nowhere near who I think I am becoming. I was promised this magical experience and ...
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Blog iconThe Bella Donna.XYZ
Apr 26
I'm a woman incarcerated in the United States, and this is my story
I had to tell myself that I’m worth something, that I have a purpose!From the beginning of my life, I was under the impression that I wasn’t wanted, that I was a mistake. My father told me the story of how my mom had my sister and then my brother and when she got pregnant again they decided to have an abortion. That took a major life-altering toll on my mother– Depression ate her alive. It ate at them both. From that day forward they decided to use condoms. One night they were being intimate ...