For today’s prompt, I reflected on when we lost our house to a wildfire a few years back. This marked the a season of discovering who I am and a more holistic view of God than I previously had before.

Six years ago, this month, a wildfire came
and devoured the walls of my home and every priceless memory that came with it.
The flames, consumed not just wood and stone, but a significant piece of my heart.

It marked the beginning of a season, I still find myself in today.

Why would God allow my neighbors home to stand untouched and unfazed, while the remnants of mine was nothing but soot and ash?

I still don’t have an answer to this, and have resolved I most likely never will.

In the chaos & disbelief of this moment years ago, internally I became ablaze myself, twisted and torn, uprooted from my home, in the middle of the night the fire burned away the the safety of my home & along with it the false sense of security that God in their goodness would always protect me in the ways I expected, hoped for, and asked for.

This moment of my home’s destruction was the catalyst of my internal deconstruction. There were more questions than answers, only ash and a deafening silence in the wake of my home and my heart.

I stand now, six years on,
amongst the regrowth. In a new understanding of life, and an evolving lens of what faith is and what it means.

While much is up in the air,
I have never felt more free & grounded,
my roots deeper than before,
nourished by the knowledge that although I find myself in exile wandering,
it is truer & more genuine & more raw than anything I’ve experienced before.

In the quiet, after the fire & other storms that threatened to destroy,
I have found a new strength.

I’m thankful for the love that holds me,
grateful for the family that is my safe place.

I am growing a seed planted long ago.

A knowing that traumatic moments,
like wildfires,
burn fiercely but pass—
leaving room for renewal,
for peace,
for the unyielding & unrelenting green of life that comes after destruction.

For today’s prompt, I reflected on when we lost our house to a wildfire a few years back. This marked the a season of discovering who I am and a more holistic view of God than I previously had before.

Six years ago, this month, a wildfire came
and devoured the walls of my home and every priceless memory that came with it.
The flames, consumed not just wood and stone, but a significant piece of my heart.

It marked the beginning of a season, I still find myself in today.

Why would God allow my neighbors home to stand untouched and unfazed, while the remnants of mine was nothing but soot and ash?

I still don’t have an answer to this, and have resolved I most likely never will.

In the chaos & disbelief of this moment years ago, internally I became ablaze myself, twisted and torn, uprooted from my home, in the middle of the night the fire burned away the the safety of my home & along with it the false sense of security that God in their goodness would always protect me in the ways I expected, hoped for, and asked for.

This moment of my home’s destruction was the catalyst of my internal deconstruction. There were more questions than answers, only ash and a deafening silence in the wake of my home and my heart.

I stand now, six years on,
amongst the regrowth. In a new understanding of life, and an evolving lens of what faith is and what it means.

While much is up in the air,
I have never felt more free & grounded,
my roots deeper than before,
nourished by the knowledge that although I find myself in exile wandering,
it is truer & more genuine & more raw than anything I’ve experienced before.

In the quiet, after the fire & other storms that threatened to destroy,
I have found a new strength.

I’m thankful for the love that holds me,
grateful for the family that is my safe place.

I am growing a seed planted long ago.

A knowing that traumatic moments,
like wildfires,
burn fiercely but pass—
leaving room for renewal,
for peace,
for the unyielding & unrelenting green of life that comes after destruction.