I stand here at the doors of the, "Totally Ethical Pony 'Murder'", Company. This establishment has been a centerpiece of the town of BludClaw since the year 309. It is here where we established the basic 4 flavors, of "Pain", "Sleep", "Youth", and "Age". At this place you may have any combination you wish! Each of the flavors of prey may be mixed and matched at the TEPM Co. Gates! Today we're gonna bring you through the factory to see how the rivers of delicious gore are created for your viewing pleasure!

But first, for all the little hatchlings out there, we've got a short special on the history of these delicious creatures and their unique origins.

Our society, largely founded on the desire to understand and explain our visions, was gifted with "Ponies" by the first interdimensional traveler with which we met on day 1, month 1, week 1 of our species' history. We don't really know how long bird people have been around, because until the Great Vision, we didn't even have a written language, or a concept of ponies!

It was an interesting happenstance which led to the rise of our species' ability to communicate effectively, and just so happens to be the same occasion on which we discovered the humble pony. A creature popped into our 3rd largest village, standing on two legs like a bird. He had some major deformities by our standards though.

First, his skin was pale and smooth, with no feathers on his body and strange fuzz on his head. The, "human", was also apparently cursed with round skinny tubes instead of wings, and did not seem able to fly. This strange individual was not alone. It had with it a long line of the ponies we now know and love for their delicious succulent meat & stringy muscles.

At first sight, our village called the Decider out to try and communicate with the strange visitor. Decider Berk-Caw was immediately transfixed by this stranger, and offered him one of our lobotomized snakes as a gift. The stranger, to Berk-Caw's immense surprise, was scared at first of the harmless snack and jumped back in fear. Berk-Caw, even though he couldn't understand this behaviour, still recognized the obvious fear in this traveler's eyes. Unsure of how to explain the concept of a lobotomy through pantomime, decided to have a set of tools brought out. Decider Berk-Caw re-lobotomized the snake in front of the traveler in order to assure the traveler of the snake's harmlessness.

The traveler, although seemingly disturbed by the act, was happy to accept the snake and offered two of the now-beloved, "Ponies", as a thank you to the village. Upon seeing the immensely large creature, Berk-Caw was immediately transfixed by the glorious smell coming from the, "Pony". To the complete and utter horror of the traveler, our brilliant Decider took an enormous bite out of the the fresh succulent, "Pony". The traveler was so shocked and frightened by this that it immediately smacked itself on the chest and vanished in a flash of green flames. Luckily, he left all of the, "Ponies", behind and dropped his notebook.

Berk-Caw, the ingenious Decider that he was, kept all of the other ponies alive to ask the Thinkers to examine the notebook. Basic knowledge of his own species' reproductive cycle told him that his village might be able to hatch more. The Thinkers, luckily, had experienced many visions involving the language in this notebook, and enough of them could read it to decipher that they were a sort of advertisement for this, "Pony", creature. This journal explained their basic uses and care. Although, frankly, we all KNOW what ponies are for. And it's not strapping expensive leather to their backs so we can get leg cramps. "Ponies", are for slaughter, eating, and cleaning out your beak with your family after a hard night's vision and a long day's philosophizing.

I stand here at the doors of the, "Totally Ethical Pony 'Murder'", Company. This establishment has been a centerpiece of the town of BludClaw since the year 309. It is here where we established the basic 4 flavors, of "Pain", "Sleep", "Youth", and "Age". At this place you may have any combination you wish! Each of the flavors of prey may be mixed and matched at the TEPM Co. Gates! Today we're gonna bring you through the factory to see how the rivers of delicious gore are created for your viewing pleasure!

But first, for all the little hatchlings out there, we've got a short special on the history of these delicious creatures and their unique origins.

Our society, largely founded on the desire to understand and explain our visions, was gifted with "Ponies" by the first interdimensional traveler with which we met on day 1, month 1, week 1 of our species' history. We don't really know how long bird people have been around, because until the Great Vision, we didn't even have a written language, or a concept of ponies!

It was an interesting happenstance which led to the rise of our species' ability to communicate effectively, and just so happens to be the same occasion on which we discovered the humble pony. A creature popped into our 3rd largest village, standing on two legs like a bird. He had some major deformities by our standards though.

First, his skin was pale and smooth, with no feathers on his body and strange fuzz on his head. The, "human", was also apparently cursed with round skinny tubes instead of wings, and did not seem able to fly. This strange individual was not alone. It had with it a long line of the ponies we now know and love for their delicious succulent meat & stringy muscles.

At first sight, our village called the Decider out to try and communicate with the strange visitor. Decider Berk-Caw was immediately transfixed by this stranger, and offered him one of our lobotomized snakes as a gift. The stranger, to Berk-Caw's immense surprise, was scared at first of the harmless snack and jumped back in fear. Berk-Caw, even though he couldn't understand this behaviour, still recognized the obvious fear in this traveler's eyes. Unsure of how to explain the concept of a lobotomy through pantomime, decided to have a set of tools brought out. Decider Berk-Caw re-lobotomized the snake in front of the traveler in order to assure the traveler of the snake's harmlessness.

The traveler, although seemingly disturbed by the act, was happy to accept the snake and offered two of the now-beloved, "Ponies", as a thank you to the village. Upon seeing the immensely large creature, Berk-Caw was immediately transfixed by the glorious smell coming from the, "Pony". To the complete and utter horror of the traveler, our brilliant Decider took an enormous bite out of the the fresh succulent, "Pony". The traveler was so shocked and frightened by this that it immediately smacked itself on the chest and vanished in a flash of green flames. Luckily, he left all of the, "Ponies", behind and dropped his notebook.

Berk-Caw, the ingenious Decider that he was, kept all of the other ponies alive to ask the Thinkers to examine the notebook. Basic knowledge of his own species' reproductive cycle told him that his village might be able to hatch more. The Thinkers, luckily, had experienced many visions involving the language in this notebook, and enough of them could read it to decipher that they were a sort of advertisement for this, "Pony", creature. This journal explained their basic uses and care. Although, frankly, we all KNOW what ponies are for. And it's not strapping expensive leather to their backs so we can get leg cramps. "Ponies", are for slaughter, eating, and cleaning out your beak with your family after a hard night's vision and a long day's philosophizing.