Crypto in 2024 is a paradox: simultaneously dead and thriving. Bitcoin ETFs now soak up institutional cash like Wall Street’s new savings account, while underground devs in Buenos Aires code “zombie chains” resistant to quantum decryption. Ethereum’s roadmap reads like an IKEA manual—modular, confusing, and missing critical pieces. DeFi’s latest trick? Turning your grandma’s Treasury bonds into NFT coupons. (Yes, BlackRock’s involved.) Meanwhile, memecoin traders pivot to “climate futures,” b...