I was never a villain

But this path that was chosen for me became the map in which I tread upon.

It began a long time ago, long before I was born, before the sinews of my body were sewn together. It began with my father.

He was a petty trader in the Umuoha market, he was content with his earnings and wasn't looking for much out of life. But then he met my mother.

Adaugo, asampete of Umuoha village. Her beauty was written in poems and sung in a melodious tune. She was the apple of her father's eyes, which wasn't a surprise because she was the only one her father had. Her mother died from a snake bite when she was younger and it had only been her and her father ever since.

He refused to remarry, turning deaf ears to all his relatives said. They kept pestering him about who would continue his family name but he didn't care for none of that, his family later gave up concerning him marrying because he had no property that they could even get from him.

Adaugo's father focused on her only. He made sure she went to the village missionary school even though everyone told him he shouldn't open a girl to such things. They called it a taboo but like always Papa Adaugo —my grandfather — paid them no mind.

Adaugo rewarded her father's effort with good results, she went on to win the village scholarship to school in obodoyinbo, in the Queen's country—England.

My mother —Adaugo— was brilliant! She finished her studies abroad and came back home a doctor, a real doctor, not the quacks they had in the village clinics.

She became the envy of every girl parent and they all wished they had sent their daughters to school. My grandfather became a respected man in the village, they suddenly praised him for not remarrying and having the foresight to send my mother to school.

My mother was planning to relocate herself and her father to Lagos when she met my father, Chukwudili—the most talked about petty trader in Umuoha village. It was said that he was an honest and competent trader, and that he would never cheat you.

It was a cloudy day when my parents met each other. My mother was rushing home from the clinic to beat the rain and my father was helping his friend, a truck driver, to push his truck that had gotten stuck on the muddy road when his friend mistakenly reversed and hit him, my father, with the truck.

That scene would go on to be retold in different versions, it was said that my father's friend, Gozie, was entranced by my mother's beauty when she was running by and he mistakenly went backward instead of forward.

My mother came to the rescue of my father and just like that the journey to their forever love started.

It wasn't easy and it didn't start immediately because my father was intimidated by my mother's achievement, he  kept telling himself he wasn't worthy of her and his friend, Gozie, also said the same.

But Adaugo was her father's daughter and she wasn't going to let anything deter her from belonging to Chukwudili, not even his holding back, for she already set her mind on him.

No, she didn't pursue him but she made sure she was always in his vicinity. When she went to the market, she asked after his injured foot, opening a room for them to talk about other things. Such as his dreams, what he wanted out of life and what she wished to accomplish.

Slowly, Chukwudili began waiting for Adaugo at evening time around the clinic to escort her home. He hardly talked because of his thick accented igbotic English compared to her own Queen's English, he feared he might put her off but she assured him that she didn't mind at all.

My grandfather called Chukwudili aside one day and asked him of his intention towards his daughter, fearing my Papa (like I lovingly call my grandfather) might be against their being together, he stuttered through his confession of love for Adaugo. Promising to take care of her and make her happy.

Papa laughed at his lack of composure but assured him he's happy with their union. But, Papa went ahead to advise Chukwudili to buckle up and try to meet up to Adaugo's standard. He further reminded him that Adaugo was going to Lagos soon and if he was serious about her he would prepare himself to follow suit.

This conversation with Papa gave Chukwudili some pause. He went to Father Francis —the Padre of the Catholic church in the village, the only oyinbo left in Umuoha. Father Francis had always been a mentor to him. It was Padre that convinced his parents to allow him to go to school, even if it was just to stop at secondary school.

And so Chukwudili went to Padre to seek advice. He told Padre how he wanted to be able to take care of Adaugo, to not end up being a source of embarrassment to her when she was among her peers.

Fortunately for Chukwudili, Padre had a friend that was visiting him from Lagos at that time. The friend, Mr Obi of Obi Construction, was an engineer and he was looking to open a factory at Umuoha.

He offered Chukwudili the job of being his eyes in the village while the construction was ongoing which would earn him triple what he earned as a petty trader and also give him the means to be able to sponsor Adaugo for her Masters degree like she wanted.

He was happy at this opportunity but it also meant he might have to stay back in the village while Adaugo went to Lagos to pursue her dream of working in an orthopaedic Hospital.

This worry followed him to Adaugo's house. While he was feeling down and disturbed, Adaugo was brimming with happiness and news.

Before he could say anything, she informed him that she got an opening to work in an orthopaedic Hospital in Europe, although the opening was still a year away, she got the job through her former professor.

Chukwudili was happy for her but he became more perplexed knowing that she wouldn't be in the same land with him where he could still manage to see her once in a while but would be over in Europe where he had no prayer to get to.

He was thinking about this when Adaugo said with a glint in her eyes that there was another big news, she told him she would also get to take her family with her. She paused after saying this, hoping Chukwudili would get the hint but his mind was still stuck in losing her.

Chukwudili finally caught on and then and there he asked her to marry him. He explained to her the opportunity he got to work for Obi Construction and they concluded they would stay in the village for the year giving Chukwudili the chance to earn more that would help them with their flight tickets.

They got married and although they didn't plan to get pregnant yet, I happened to them. The pregnancy wasn't a smooth ride for Adaugo and seven months later she went into an emergency labour.

She was in the market buying something when the contraction started, she thought it normal until it happened again and became severe. People rallied around her and tried to help her. Gozie, my father's friend, was delivering goods at the market at this time so he opted to take her to the hospital.

One of the market women followed them, some went to tell Chukwudili at the construction site while some went to her house to tell her father. Chukwudili and my Papa immediately left for the clinic, waiting for Adaugo to get there.

But she never came. Gozie truck stopped working in the middle of the road and in agonising pain my mother tried to give birth to me. She lost a lot of blood and became weakened in the process of the birthing.

The market woman, Mama Somto, tried her best but there was nothing she could do and Adaugo ended up breathing her last. I was told it was a miracle I lived being born premature. The miracle happened with the assistance of Mama Somto who wrapped me in her wrapper and ran to the hospital with me in her arms.

I was told when my father saw Mama Somto running he ran out to meet her halfway asking for his wife, I was told he never looked at me but ran out to look for Adaugo.

That was the beginning of the end for my father, everyone told him to be strong including Papa, who remained strong after losing the most important thing to him. My father stopped living when his wife died, and he died shortly after my first birthday. He just slept and never woke up.

Which left only me and Papa, Papa took care of me and tried his best to fill in the space of two parents. I never lacked for anything. We left Umuoha village when I was five and went to Lagos.

Papa is old now and he yearned for the quietness and peace of the village, which brought me back to the present, to the reason why I'm telling you all these.

I brought Papa back to the village yesterday and while I was taking a stroll in the evening, Mama Somto cornered me. She told me something I never wanted to hear, at first I thought she was mad but she said it again.

“Do you know what she said, uncle Gozie?” I asked my father's friend stilled body. I stood up from where I was sitting and moved to his body. I snatched out the knife embedded in his chest and went on to hack on his body. The more I remember what Mama Somto said and what he confirmed after I piled him with his favourite drinks, the more I hacked into his body.

Apparently, Gozie’s truck never stopped working, he switched it off in the middle of the road after raging all through the ride what a betrayal Chukwudili was. He raged on how Chukwudili snatched Adaugo from him after he knew he liked her. Adaugo thought it was a joke at first and was laughing until he stopped the truck and told Adaugo to tell him she loved him.

He said he knew Adaugo wanted him and they only had to get rid of the little thing in her belly. He kept proclaiming his love for her amidst her screams for help and Mama Somto’s angry shout for him to continue driving. He threatened Mama Somto, promising her she would bury all her children.

This threat shut Mama Somto up for twenty-one years until she saw me yesterday and something in her broke. It broke and it shattered the calm facade of my life.

It broke and altered the narrative of my parents’ story as I knew it. Uncle Gozie was the villain that lived in the echoes of my parents' shadows. Taking his life doesn't make me a villain, I only paid back the due I was owed.

I was never a villain

But this path that was chosen for me became the map in which I tread upon.

It began a long time ago, long before I was born, before the sinews of my body were sewn together. It began with my father.

He was a petty trader in the Umuoha market, he was content with his earnings and wasn't looking for much out of life. But then he met my mother.

Adaugo, asampete of Umuoha village. Her beauty was written in poems and sung in a melodious tune. She was the apple of her father's eyes, which wasn't a surprise because she was the only one her father had. Her mother died from a snake bite when she was younger and it had only been her and her father ever since.

He refused to remarry, turning deaf ears to all his relatives said. They kept pestering him about who would continue his family name but he didn't care for none of that, his family later gave up concerning him marrying because he had no property that they could even get from him.

Adaugo's father focused on her only. He made sure she went to the village missionary school even though everyone told him he shouldn't open a girl to such things. They called it a taboo but like always Papa Adaugo —my grandfather — paid them no mind.

Adaugo rewarded her father's effort with good results, she went on to win the village scholarship to school in obodoyinbo, in the Queen's country—England.

My mother —Adaugo— was brilliant! She finished her studies abroad and came back home a doctor, a real doctor, not the quacks they had in the village clinics.

She became the envy of every girl parent and they all wished they had sent their daughters to school. My grandfather became a respected man in the village, they suddenly praised him for not remarrying and having the foresight to send my mother to school.

My mother was planning to relocate herself and her father to Lagos when she met my father, Chukwudili—the most talked about petty trader in Umuoha village. It was said that he was an honest and competent trader, and that he would never cheat you.

It was a cloudy day when my parents met each other. My mother was rushing home from the clinic to beat the rain and my father was helping his friend, a truck driver, to push his truck that had gotten stuck on the muddy road when his friend mistakenly reversed and hit him, my father, with the truck.

That scene would go on to be retold in different versions, it was said that my father's friend, Gozie, was entranced by my mother's beauty when she was running by and he mistakenly went backward instead of forward.

My mother came to the rescue of my father and just like that the journey to their forever love started.

It wasn't easy and it didn't start immediately because my father was intimidated by my mother's achievement, he  kept telling himself he wasn't worthy of her and his friend, Gozie, also said the same.

But Adaugo was her father's daughter and she wasn't going to let anything deter her from belonging to Chukwudili, not even his holding back, for she already set her mind on him.

No, she didn't pursue him but she made sure she was always in his vicinity. When she went to the market, she asked after his injured foot, opening a room for them to talk about other things. Such as his dreams, what he wanted out of life and what she wished to accomplish.

Slowly, Chukwudili began waiting for Adaugo at evening time around the clinic to escort her home. He hardly talked because of his thick accented igbotic English compared to her own Queen's English, he feared he might put her off but she assured him that she didn't mind at all.

My grandfather called Chukwudili aside one day and asked him of his intention towards his daughter, fearing my Papa (like I lovingly call my grandfather) might be against their being together, he stuttered through his confession of love for Adaugo. Promising to take care of her and make her happy.

Papa laughed at his lack of composure but assured him he's happy with their union. But, Papa went ahead to advise Chukwudili to buckle up and try to meet up to Adaugo's standard. He further reminded him that Adaugo was going to Lagos soon and if he was serious about her he would prepare himself to follow suit.

This conversation with Papa gave Chukwudili some pause. He went to Father Francis —the Padre of the Catholic church in the village, the only oyinbo left in Umuoha. Father Francis had always been a mentor to him. It was Padre that convinced his parents to allow him to go to school, even if it was just to stop at secondary school.

And so Chukwudili went to Padre to seek advice. He told Padre how he wanted to be able to take care of Adaugo, to not end up being a source of embarrassment to her when she was among her peers.

Fortunately for Chukwudili, Padre had a friend that was visiting him from Lagos at that time. The friend, Mr Obi of Obi Construction, was an engineer and he was looking to open a factory at Umuoha.

He offered Chukwudili the job of being his eyes in the village while the construction was ongoing which would earn him triple what he earned as a petty trader and also give him the means to be able to sponsor Adaugo for her Masters degree like she wanted.

He was happy at this opportunity but it also meant he might have to stay back in the village while Adaugo went to Lagos to pursue her dream of working in an orthopaedic Hospital.

This worry followed him to Adaugo's house. While he was feeling down and disturbed, Adaugo was brimming with happiness and news.

Before he could say anything, she informed him that she got an opening to work in an orthopaedic Hospital in Europe, although the opening was still a year away, she got the job through her former professor.

Chukwudili was happy for her but he became more perplexed knowing that she wouldn't be in the same land with him where he could still manage to see her once in a while but would be over in Europe where he had no prayer to get to.

He was thinking about this when Adaugo said with a glint in her eyes that there was another big news, she told him she would also get to take her family with her. She paused after saying this, hoping Chukwudili would get the hint but his mind was still stuck in losing her.

Chukwudili finally caught on and then and there he asked her to marry him. He explained to her the opportunity he got to work for Obi Construction and they concluded they would stay in the village for the year giving Chukwudili the chance to earn more that would help them with their flight tickets.

They got married and although they didn't plan to get pregnant yet, I happened to them. The pregnancy wasn't a smooth ride for Adaugo and seven months later she went into an emergency labour.

She was in the market buying something when the contraction started, she thought it normal until it happened again and became severe. People rallied around her and tried to help her. Gozie, my father's friend, was delivering goods at the market at this time so he opted to take her to the hospital.

One of the market women followed them, some went to tell Chukwudili at the construction site while some went to her house to tell her father. Chukwudili and my Papa immediately left for the clinic, waiting for Adaugo to get there.

But she never came. Gozie truck stopped working in the middle of the road and in agonising pain my mother tried to give birth to me. She lost a lot of blood and became weakened in the process of the birthing.

The market woman, Mama Somto, tried her best but there was nothing she could do and Adaugo ended up breathing her last. I was told it was a miracle I lived being born premature. The miracle happened with the assistance of Mama Somto who wrapped me in her wrapper and ran to the hospital with me in her arms.

I was told when my father saw Mama Somto running he ran out to meet her halfway asking for his wife, I was told he never looked at me but ran out to look for Adaugo.

That was the beginning of the end for my father, everyone told him to be strong including Papa, who remained strong after losing the most important thing to him. My father stopped living when his wife died, and he died shortly after my first birthday. He just slept and never woke up.

Which left only me and Papa, Papa took care of me and tried his best to fill in the space of two parents. I never lacked for anything. We left Umuoha village when I was five and went to Lagos.

Papa is old now and he yearned for the quietness and peace of the village, which brought me back to the present, to the reason why I'm telling you all these.

I brought Papa back to the village yesterday and while I was taking a stroll in the evening, Mama Somto cornered me. She told me something I never wanted to hear, at first I thought she was mad but she said it again.

“Do you know what she said, uncle Gozie?” I asked my father's friend stilled body. I stood up from where I was sitting and moved to his body. I snatched out the knife embedded in his chest and went on to hack on his body. The more I remember what Mama Somto said and what he confirmed after I piled him with his favourite drinks, the more I hacked into his body.

Apparently, Gozie’s truck never stopped working, he switched it off in the middle of the road after raging all through the ride what a betrayal Chukwudili was. He raged on how Chukwudili snatched Adaugo from him after he knew he liked her. Adaugo thought it was a joke at first and was laughing until he stopped the truck and told Adaugo to tell him she loved him.

He said he knew Adaugo wanted him and they only had to get rid of the little thing in her belly. He kept proclaiming his love for her amidst her screams for help and Mama Somto’s angry shout for him to continue driving. He threatened Mama Somto, promising her she would bury all her children.

This threat shut Mama Somto up for twenty-one years until she saw me yesterday and something in her broke. It broke and it shattered the calm facade of my life.

It broke and altered the narrative of my parents’ story as I knew it. Uncle Gozie was the villain that lived in the echoes of my parents' shadows. Taking his life doesn't make me a villain, I only paid back the due I was owed.