a crying girl looking at monitors, showing crypto trading charts, detailed, dramatic light, cinematic, hyperrealistic, 8k, cyber punkI suspect my depression isn’t from the work. It must be to some degree, but maybe there are other things. I hate it when people don’t listen to me because I would eat myself from the inside. I hate it when I’m not the most shiny person in the room because being mediocre sucks. I don’t feel respect at work. Obviously I’m not good enough, and might never be good e...

a crying girl looking at monitors, showing crypto trading charts, detailed, dramatic light, cinematic, hyperrealistic, 8k, cyber punkI suspect my depression isn’t from the work. It must be to some degree, but maybe there are other things. I hate it when people don’t listen to me because I would eat myself from the inside. I hate it when I’m not the most shiny person in the room because being mediocre sucks. I don’t feel respect at work. Obviously I’m not good enough, and might never be good e...

I’m late today. The definition of a day for me is from the time I wake up until the time I fall asleep. So I was supposed to write the diary at 4am, but I forgot. I went to a fish market at 1am last night with colleagues, the idea started from our operations manager said she wants to eat fish, and one of the engineers said the best and the only best fish is at the fish market, which opens at 1am. And since recently the engineering team constantly have arguments with all other departments, it’...

I’m late today. The definition of a day for me is from the time I wake up until the time I fall asleep. So I was supposed to write the diary at 4am, but I forgot. I went to a fish market at 1am last night with colleagues, the idea started from our operations manager said she wants to eat fish, and one of the engineers said the best and the only best fish is at the fish market, which opens at 1am. And since recently the engineering team constantly have arguments with all other departments, it’...

Interior of a big crowded dinner party, people sitting and standing, fancy hotel, pool, wine, wide angle, very high detailed, cinematic lighting, hyperrealistic, 8kI kind of want to be seen, yet at the same time I’m hiding myself. The other day Peggy asked me why I didn’t mention our engagement, I straight out said “are you gonna control what I write now?”. which makes her sad. Then the following days she doesn’t read my diary anymore. I feel relieved at some level, but at the same time I fee...

Interior of a big crowded dinner party, people sitting and standing, fancy hotel, pool, wine, wide angle, very high detailed, cinematic lighting, hyperrealistic, 8kI kind of want to be seen, yet at the same time I’m hiding myself. The other day Peggy asked me why I didn’t mention our engagement, I straight out said “are you gonna control what I write now?”. which makes her sad. Then the following days she doesn’t read my diary anymore. I feel relieved at some level, but at the same time I fee...

I was mad at 4 o’clock in the morning. Went to bed at 2 with a facial mask, tried to fall asleep but couldn’t help feeling a bowel movement. Took a melatonin at 3 with regret “should’ve done earlier”, tried again, the bowel movement still there, finally decided to let it go, but on the toilet I just couldn’t succeed. Went back to bed and still couldn’t sleep and it was 4 when I felt the anxiety. Insomnia is the strangest thing as I normally sleep like a baby. Was it because of the yacht trip?...

I was mad at 4 o’clock in the morning. Went to bed at 2 with a facial mask, tried to fall asleep but couldn’t help feeling a bowel movement. Took a melatonin at 3 with regret “should’ve done earlier”, tried again, the bowel movement still there, finally decided to let it go, but on the toilet I just couldn’t succeed. Went back to bed and still couldn’t sleep and it was 4 when I felt the anxiety. Insomnia is the strangest thing as I normally sleep like a baby. Was it because of the yacht trip?...

Had steak for dinner. It’s the second day of our diet with Peggy and Huell. With the help of the magical Chinese medicine, we are not hungry at all, and a touch of steak is perfect. No carb in the evening is easy. Today I interviewed a girl with exotropia and one of her eyes is blind. She’s here for the sales assistant job. Looks like she can tolerate much more than usual people, work really hard, low self-esteem. She even said she’s willing to clean up restroom if necessary. It’s my first ti...

Had steak for dinner. It’s the second day of our diet with Peggy and Huell. With the help of the magical Chinese medicine, we are not hungry at all, and a touch of steak is perfect. No carb in the evening is easy. Today I interviewed a girl with exotropia and one of her eyes is blind. She’s here for the sales assistant job. Looks like she can tolerate much more than usual people, work really hard, low self-esteem. She even said she’s willing to clean up restroom if necessary. It’s my first ti...

It’s a WFH day. I woke up at noon, took my time to clean up the room & did the laundry, then had a meeting. After the meeting I worked a little, ordered Uber Eat, watched the Better Call Saul series finale. It’s the end of an era, the whole Breaking Bad + El Camino + Better Call Saul universe. Browsed the articles on subreddit, it seems like everyone just love it, including me. (Alert: No Spoilers) I’ve been watching all the theories and predictions about how it will end, basically covers mos...

It’s a WFH day. I woke up at noon, took my time to clean up the room & did the laundry, then had a meeting. After the meeting I worked a little, ordered Uber Eat, watched the Better Call Saul series finale. It’s the end of an era, the whole Breaking Bad + El Camino + Better Call Saul universe. Browsed the articles on subreddit, it seems like everyone just love it, including me. (Alert: No Spoilers) I’ve been watching all the theories and predictions about how it will end, basically covers mos...

Today is the office day. I set the alarm at 8am, but then I decided to turn it off and keep sleeping. Even with a gleam of guilt I still slept until noon. It was a 10 hour sleep yet I was still feeling heavy. Something wrong. Was slightly better when I arrived in the office sitting on my desk, I got to work a bit. Yet still don’t feel achieved at all. My colleague suggested strangest ideas and I accepted it, my proposal got rejected and I was fine. I completed my assignments but still many le...

Today is the office day. I set the alarm at 8am, but then I decided to turn it off and keep sleeping. Even with a gleam of guilt I still slept until noon. It was a 10 hour sleep yet I was still feeling heavy. Something wrong. Was slightly better when I arrived in the office sitting on my desk, I got to work a bit. Yet still don’t feel achieved at all. My colleague suggested strangest ideas and I accepted it, my proposal got rejected and I was fine. I completed my assignments but still many le...

Today I went to a weight loss clinic with 2 close friends. I’ve been eaten less to dropped from 140 lbs to 132 lbs in 2 weeks. Not sure why didn’t I just make the starting number worse so the result of the weight loss plan looks better. Guess I just don’t want to be embarrassed even in a clinic, in front of my dear friends. I arrived at 7. A lady handed me a form. Illness history, weight loss history, exercise habit, medicine allergy, etc. Then she took us upstairs to measure the weight, and ...

Today I went to a weight loss clinic with 2 close friends. I’ve been eaten less to dropped from 140 lbs to 132 lbs in 2 weeks. Not sure why didn’t I just make the starting number worse so the result of the weight loss plan looks better. Guess I just don’t want to be embarrassed even in a clinic, in front of my dear friends. I arrived at 7. A lady handed me a form. Illness history, weight loss history, exercise habit, medicine allergy, etc. Then she took us upstairs to measure the weight, and ...

I’m a pathetic worker who didn’t want to work at all and got up at noon resisted the urge to take a day off and went to the office at 2pm. Went home at 7pm and overate Thai and Chinese takeout with pretentious British Netflix show. https://opensea.io/assets/ethereum/0x495f947276749ce646f68ac8c248420045cb7b5e/19289043477987981042814920477202086135675567400894939442083619816645943361537/

I’m a pathetic worker who didn’t want to work at all and got up at noon resisted the urge to take a day off and went to the office at 2pm. Went home at 7pm and overate Thai and Chinese takeout with pretentious British Netflix show. https://opensea.io/assets/ethereum/0x495f947276749ce646f68ac8c248420045cb7b5e/19289043477987981042814920477202086135675567400894939442083619816645943361537/

It’s the first day of my weight loss plan. The plan is to take the Chinese medicine 3 times a day 30 mins before a meal (or not), 2 meals a day, no carb in the evening. That’s it. I kind of did it. The thing is I ate more than before, I used to do 194 diet, fasting 19 and diet 4. Now it’s 168. The secret is the medicine. It makes you not craving which is good. I just hope this time I can really lose weight. Anyway, I’m feeling sick today and I was brave enough to cancel or postpone all the me...

It’s the first day of my weight loss plan. The plan is to take the Chinese medicine 3 times a day 30 mins before a meal (or not), 2 meals a day, no carb in the evening. That’s it. I kind of did it. The thing is I ate more than before, I used to do 194 diet, fasting 19 and diet 4. Now it’s 168. The secret is the medicine. It makes you not craving which is good. I just hope this time I can really lose weight. Anyway, I’m feeling sick today and I was brave enough to cancel or postpone all the me...

A girl sitting on a toilet in dark dirty bathroom, grungy, detailed, realistic, dramatic light, cinematicGot irritable bowel. The good thing is that I finally defecate regularly, but I have the urge all the time. Like yesterday I met Peggy's parents and got twisted bowel the whole time. I tried to act like a good girl, but in the end I was upset about everything. Was lucky they went home earlier. It was the opposite before I started taking the Chinese medicine (the one to lose weight). I...

A girl sitting on a toilet in dark dirty bathroom, grungy, detailed, realistic, dramatic light, cinematicGot irritable bowel. The good thing is that I finally defecate regularly, but I have the urge all the time. Like yesterday I met Peggy's parents and got twisted bowel the whole time. I tried to act like a good girl, but in the end I was upset about everything. Was lucky they went home earlier. It was the opposite before I started taking the Chinese medicine (the one to lose weight). I...

a singer playing a acoustic guitar at a corner of a dark room, highly detailed, photorealistic, hd, lightningPracticed guitar and singing for over 3 hours. Kind of a salvation for me. Hopefully this won’t sabotage my voice for tomorrow’s gig. A massage helped too, almost gave me some energy to work, for a second. Then I gave up again. I’m still burnt out and in a deep of depression. Sad songs relates me. https://opensea.io/assets/ethereum/0x495f947276749ce646f68ac8c248420045cb7b5e/19289043477...

a singer playing a acoustic guitar at a corner of a dark room, highly detailed, photorealistic, hd, lightningPracticed guitar and singing for over 3 hours. Kind of a salvation for me. Hopefully this won’t sabotage my voice for tomorrow’s gig. A massage helped too, almost gave me some energy to work, for a second. Then I gave up again. I’m still burnt out and in a deep of depression. Sad songs relates me. https://opensea.io/assets/ethereum/0x495f947276749ce646f68ac8c248420045cb7b5e/19289043477...