A weekly roundup of interesting stuff in the fabulous and mysterious world of DAOs
A weekly roundup of interesting stuff in the fabulous and mysterious world of DAOs
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Welcome to (anon), a lurching, drunken lunge at fame and fortune by a conniving sad, disfigured ginger has-been.
Look, I’m aware FTX and Alameda are not DAOs.
However, I’m also aware it’s a quantum impossibility for me not to provide at least a brief comment on the Bahamian meth-fueled & orgy-driven fiasco we’ve all become acquainted with over the past week.
Twitter won’t shut up about Scam Bankman-Fraud, FTX, and the ever-so-sultry Caroline, but I’m here to discuss the most important, and somehow DRASTICALLY OVERLOOKED element of this story.
That’s right, it wasn’t enough that they stole our money, our faith, and our innocence. These Big Bang Theory casting rejects had the audacity to record a sex tape. Now some poor schmuck feels the need to vomit salt into our wounds by posting a video that absolutely no one, and I mean no one, in this industry will be able to resist watching.
Do I want to see Sam and Caroline bumping uglies in the Bahamas? Please pardon my informality, I meant: do I want to watch sweat slowly drip down Sam’s curves as he heaves, grunts, and gasps between thrusts?
No
Will I have the willpower to not watch it?
No
Turns out their biggest crime wasn’t against our wallets, it was against our minds, where we’ll never be able to unsee this.
This has to be the only proof necessary that SBF is 100% a psychopath.
Even I have enough empathy to understand that shooting porn is like voting in America: everyone above 18 can do it, but I wish 90% of the people who did, didn’t.
Oh and before you come at me with comments like, “But TinySchmancer, body shaming is never ok, no matter the circumstances”, think about this…
Fuck you.
In a dazzling display of competency and rationality not often seen among nation-states, Japan has decided to start a DAO. They hope the experience will teach them the benefits and drawbacks of DAOs, what they’re best suited to solve, and how governance tokens should be viewed from a legal standpoint.
While I wish that all countries, nay, everyone in general, would attempt to gain experience with something before coming to conclusions about it, this is a rare occurrence.
I’m honestly blown away by how rational of an approach this is.
Unless, wait, of course… what if this is PsyOps.
Bear with me.
They claim that they want to explore the potential of integrating web3 into their government and technology– but what if that’s just their metaphorical Trojan horse? Perhaps their intentions are not pure, perhaps they want to lull us into a false sense of security so that we open up our kimonos and expose our most sacred bits for regulators and tax-men to penetrate (the Sam and Caroline story really brought out my creative demons, no more sex puns).
Perhaps it’s worse than even I previously imagined.
Perhaps this is the beginning of their foray into exploring a Central Bank Digital Currency. The beginning of the end of any shred of a sense of privacy in Japan.
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. The one that lurks in dingy DAO Discords, feasting on vibes and “gms”.
The governance problem.
Crypto nerds love to talk about individual sovereignty, “being your own bank”, and the wonders of DeCeNtRaLiZaTiOn. Yet, when the time comes to actually vote with those nifty governance tokens (that are definitely not speculative assets), no one actually does.
Ironically, the problem with getting people to vote in DAOs is the same as getting people to vote in elections, people only pretend to care. When it’s time to get to the digital voting booth, no one shows up.
When no one votes, it’s easier for bad actors to execute governance attacks and easier for regulators to raise legal questions around DAO governance tokens when no one actually uses them for governance.
Luckily for us, the deep-pocketed lizard people of a16z decided to use their powers for good (this time) and released an article illustrating a radical new method to increase voter engagement: bribery.
Not just any old bribery, they brought in some game theory experts to work out the most effective way to bribe people into action. The method proposed essentially asks potential voters to “report their cost of voting” to a smart contract, the smart contract tells the would-be governance participant how much they could be bribed to vote, and pays them if they do vote.
The most impressive aspect of this article is that a16z has created an extensive and technical guide to cheaply and effectively bribing your users en masse without using the word “bribe” once.
It’s insane, I feel like whoever wrote this article is gaslighting me. It’s not that I think there’s anything wrong with what they’re proposing, hell they’re addressing a real problem in the standard governance process.
But call me by name ya know?
A horse is a horse, a bribe is a bribe—enough with the verbal gymnastics!
Maybe we have a hard time bringing new users into the industry because we don’t call anything by its usual name. We make up new words for everything.
Why is a founding member of a DAO called a summoner?
What the fuck is a blood mage?
And do I have to be angry to rage-quit?
These questions are made valid solely by our incessant need to give EVERYTHING a ridiculous name. Sharding proto-sharding, dank sharding, snarks, merge, purge, splurge, surge, Dasher, and Dancer and Prancer and Blitzen.
Why do we call speculative assets “governance tokens” and our slave labor “contributors”?
Welcome to (anon), a lurching, drunken lunge at fame and fortune by a conniving sad, disfigured ginger has-been.
Look, I’m aware FTX and Alameda are not DAOs.
However, I’m also aware it’s a quantum impossibility for me not to provide at least a brief comment on the Bahamian meth-fueled & orgy-driven fiasco we’ve all become acquainted with over the past week.
Twitter won’t shut up about Scam Bankman-Fraud, FTX, and the ever-so-sultry Caroline, but I’m here to discuss the most important, and somehow DRASTICALLY OVERLOOKED element of this story.
That’s right, it wasn’t enough that they stole our money, our faith, and our innocence. These Big Bang Theory casting rejects had the audacity to record a sex tape. Now some poor schmuck feels the need to vomit salt into our wounds by posting a video that absolutely no one, and I mean no one, in this industry will be able to resist watching.
Do I want to see Sam and Caroline bumping uglies in the Bahamas? Please pardon my informality, I meant: do I want to watch sweat slowly drip down Sam’s curves as he heaves, grunts, and gasps between thrusts?
No
Will I have the willpower to not watch it?
No
Turns out their biggest crime wasn’t against our wallets, it was against our minds, where we’ll never be able to unsee this.
This has to be the only proof necessary that SBF is 100% a psychopath.
Even I have enough empathy to understand that shooting porn is like voting in America: everyone above 18 can do it, but I wish 90% of the people who did, didn’t.
Oh and before you come at me with comments like, “But TinySchmancer, body shaming is never ok, no matter the circumstances”, think about this…
Fuck you.
In a dazzling display of competency and rationality not often seen among nation-states, Japan has decided to start a DAO. They hope the experience will teach them the benefits and drawbacks of DAOs, what they’re best suited to solve, and how governance tokens should be viewed from a legal standpoint.
While I wish that all countries, nay, everyone in general, would attempt to gain experience with something before coming to conclusions about it, this is a rare occurrence.
I’m honestly blown away by how rational of an approach this is.
Unless, wait, of course… what if this is PsyOps.
Bear with me.
They claim that they want to explore the potential of integrating web3 into their government and technology– but what if that’s just their metaphorical Trojan horse? Perhaps their intentions are not pure, perhaps they want to lull us into a false sense of security so that we open up our kimonos and expose our most sacred bits for regulators and tax-men to penetrate (the Sam and Caroline story really brought out my creative demons, no more sex puns).
Perhaps it’s worse than even I previously imagined.
Perhaps this is the beginning of their foray into exploring a Central Bank Digital Currency. The beginning of the end of any shred of a sense of privacy in Japan.
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. The one that lurks in dingy DAO Discords, feasting on vibes and “gms”.
The governance problem.
Crypto nerds love to talk about individual sovereignty, “being your own bank”, and the wonders of DeCeNtRaLiZaTiOn. Yet, when the time comes to actually vote with those nifty governance tokens (that are definitely not speculative assets), no one actually does.
Ironically, the problem with getting people to vote in DAOs is the same as getting people to vote in elections, people only pretend to care. When it’s time to get to the digital voting booth, no one shows up.
When no one votes, it’s easier for bad actors to execute governance attacks and easier for regulators to raise legal questions around DAO governance tokens when no one actually uses them for governance.
Luckily for us, the deep-pocketed lizard people of a16z decided to use their powers for good (this time) and released an article illustrating a radical new method to increase voter engagement: bribery.
Not just any old bribery, they brought in some game theory experts to work out the most effective way to bribe people into action. The method proposed essentially asks potential voters to “report their cost of voting” to a smart contract, the smart contract tells the would-be governance participant how much they could be bribed to vote, and pays them if they do vote.
The most impressive aspect of this article is that a16z has created an extensive and technical guide to cheaply and effectively bribing your users en masse without using the word “bribe” once.
It’s insane, I feel like whoever wrote this article is gaslighting me. It’s not that I think there’s anything wrong with what they’re proposing, hell they’re addressing a real problem in the standard governance process.
But call me by name ya know?
A horse is a horse, a bribe is a bribe—enough with the verbal gymnastics!
Maybe we have a hard time bringing new users into the industry because we don’t call anything by its usual name. We make up new words for everything.
Why is a founding member of a DAO called a summoner?
What the fuck is a blood mage?
And do I have to be angry to rage-quit?
These questions are made valid solely by our incessant need to give EVERYTHING a ridiculous name. Sharding proto-sharding, dank sharding, snarks, merge, purge, splurge, surge, Dasher, and Dancer and Prancer and Blitzen.
Why do we call speculative assets “governance tokens” and our slave labor “contributors”?
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