Bitcoin is up, down, sideways, and emotionally unavailable depending on which headline you read this hour. The researchers are contradicting each other, the traders are coping out loud, and the founders are doing “macro threads” just to feel something.

So here is Marlowe.
Your emotional-support gremlin for cycles that don’t make sense, charts that gaslight you, and sentiment that swings like a DAO vote at 3AM.

He represents:

• the vibes

• the delusion

• the refusal to let volatility ruin your outfit

• the art of watching narratives implode while quietly holding snacks

Crypto doesn’t need more hopium.
It needs mascots who tell the truth with a smirk.

Markets are boring. Narratives are chaos. Most projects? No story, just hype.

IYKYK

Bitcoin is up, down, sideways, and emotionally unavailable depending on which headline you read this hour. The researchers are contradicting each other, the traders are coping out loud, and the founders are doing “macro threads” just to feel something.

So here is Marlowe.
Your emotional-support gremlin for cycles that don’t make sense, charts that gaslight you, and sentiment that swings like a DAO vote at 3AM.

He represents:

• the vibes

• the delusion

• the refusal to let volatility ruin your outfit

• the art of watching narratives implode while quietly holding snacks

Crypto doesn’t need more hopium.
It needs mascots who tell the truth with a smirk.

Markets are boring. Narratives are chaos. Most projects? No story, just hype.

IYKYK