I am Knepala
I am Knepala

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I never asked to be the one who carried it all
but here I am—
spine cracked under silence,
eyes wide open in the dark
I am not perfect
never claimed to be
but I was honest in ways that burned holes through comfort
and maybe that was the problem
Pain doesn’t just visit me—it moved in
built a home in the corners of my lungs
whispers lullabies while it sharpens its teeth
I carry things I never broke
I kill parts of myself just to keep others whole
I smile with blood in my mouth
because no one wants to hear screaming anymore
This is the end of me—
not a blaze, not a cry,
just a quiet folding in
a surrender not to peace, but to weight
This is my only regret:
that I loved louder than I screamed
and no one heard either one
Let them remember me as fire
as steel
as the ghost that would not beg
I didn’t ask to survive this
but I did
and I hate that I did.

I never asked to be the one who carried it all
but here I am—
spine cracked under silence,
eyes wide open in the dark
I am not perfect
never claimed to be
but I was honest in ways that burned holes through comfort
and maybe that was the problem
Pain doesn’t just visit me—it moved in
built a home in the corners of my lungs
whispers lullabies while it sharpens its teeth
I carry things I never broke
I kill parts of myself just to keep others whole
I smile with blood in my mouth
because no one wants to hear screaming anymore
This is the end of me—
not a blaze, not a cry,
just a quiet folding in
a surrender not to peace, but to weight
This is my only regret:
that I loved louder than I screamed
and no one heard either one
Let them remember me as fire
as steel
as the ghost that would not beg
I didn’t ask to survive this
but I did
and I hate that I did.

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