*All intellectual property below is my own, is my belief, and was created by me only. This is an artistic expression and not professional mental health advice.*

This is an essay about one of my biggest battles in life and how I started to conquer it. Social Anxiety is a personal hell that can be escaped. It can block our authentic selves from participating in life, it can make us avoid our challenges, and turn into harmful outlets — stunting the development of our lives and sometimes ending them, before we could even understand who we are.

My social anxiety manifests in different ways, which I will address and solve in this essay. The first way is having the intrusive thought that my presence is uncomfortable for strangers. The second is the thought that my social skills are not impressive enough. Both manifestations are inward, self centered judgements caused by free, unoriented thinking. Imaginative minds think about every possibility, and fear is often first in line.

The cause of an overactive mind is outside of this essay's scope. It’s also outside of society’s scope, and I think that we all should try to understand our own minds as if it were our purpose. It’s a blessing and a curse, but all powers have to be learned to be used before they take a turn for the worse. 

Stopping anxiety.

Having an overactive mind does not come with a guide. One of the sources of my social anxiety starts with uncontrolled attention. I learned that we are what controls our emotional and physical reactions. Our mind has a filter that can let stimuli pass all the way to the heart, or stay only at our base senses. 

When I walked through the streets in public, my attention would always focus on how I appear, and the thoughts of random people. My attention was addicted to analyzing, imagining, and making conclusions.

In my lifetime, I’ve spent time with capital D, different people, and saw the twisted expressions of so many strangers, which made me think that we were doing something wrong, and through these exposures, I realized many things and built my truth.

My first countermeasure to anxiety is changing my attention to my physical body movements and intentionally breathing (grounding) instead of analyzing the way I appear (ego) to other people (anxiety). This brings our awareness outside of our minds and into the physical world, muting our trains of thought, allowing us to appreciate the feeling of being alive.

Eventually, thoughts should be addressed. But by detaching from them and not trying to control/suppress someone or myself to conform to a soulless norm, or a fear, I was able to regain my independence. If I need to close my eyes and breathe in a crowded subway, I will do it with all of my focus on that action. If I genuinely want to wear a neon pink outfit, I will, without fear. And if I’m met by negativity, I simply notice it and carry on without taking it to heart. I don’t need to understand the origin of a remark or try to persuade them (control) into my way of being. I just am.

It’s not worth trying to understand or change someone’s attitude, but it is important to defend and clear the path for your sovereignty, without harming anything if possible. People just like us struggle with their attention. Sometimes, when we have no self-priority or no purpose, we can go further than our visual curiosities and try to control someone else.

At the end of the day, your consciousness, your genuine ambitions, and your actions don’t need the approval of others. Sometimes it can be helpful to be detached from external events. People's expressions do not mean anything unless you let them.

Interacting with the world.

As a man, I feel like I’m the one who has to set the signal. If I wait shyly for their attention, then they will be shy too. I need to pre-set my intentions. Welcome people into my attention — not pretend that I didn’t notice them. This is about being genuine with how we feel. If we feel excited to see people, then let our hearts be free by greeting, smiling, etc. But if we feel like being alone, then we can just focus on our purpose, letting eye contact not mean anything.

I started to be honest and accepting of my personality and feelings at the moment. If a conversation was truly entertaining, I wouldn't hold back expressing that. But if a conversation was not going anywhere, I wouldn't be afraid to exit it. And in both situations, I would give it all, or none of my active attention. I would also not expect anything from them, simply be present, and be honest about what you do and don’t want. This way is more just, honest, and liberating for both parties than uninterested, routine, torturous interactions. 

I don’t owe people a performance. We won’t lose anything by not participating, not having chemistry, etc. We will keep living our path, accepting the past as it was, the present as it is, and the future as it will be. I believe conversations are meant to connect authentically with people, or achieve a goal; however, I noticed most of the time they become theatrical, dramatic, egotistical, and sarcastic. Relational dynamics are outside of the scope of this essay, but they became easier for me when I became easier on myself.

Reality is much simpler than the racing thoughts in our minds say it is. We are the ones who assign a meaning or a conclusion to outside events. To get out of our anxiety, we should realize reality and its fluidity and observe it instead of identifying with it.

Being lighter on ourselves and knowing that we are fine the way we are. We don’t need to suppress or amplify ourselves, aka our expressions. 

It is not other people whom we have to please but our own spirits. We shouldn’t be scared when another person enters our awareness, and we can choose if and how we greet them because we don’t owe them anything besides peace.

I think the key to solving social anxiety is having authenticity without fear — being yourself, without thinking about it.

*All intellectual property below is my own, is my belief, and was created by me only. This is an artistic expression and not professional mental health advice.*

This is an essay about one of my biggest battles in life and how I started to conquer it. Social Anxiety is a personal hell that can be escaped. It can block our authentic selves from participating in life, it can make us avoid our challenges, and turn into harmful outlets — stunting the development of our lives and sometimes ending them, before we could even understand who we are.

My social anxiety manifests in different ways, which I will address and solve in this essay. The first way is having the intrusive thought that my presence is uncomfortable for strangers. The second is the thought that my social skills are not impressive enough. Both manifestations are inward, self centered judgements caused by free, unoriented thinking. Imaginative minds think about every possibility, and fear is often first in line.

The cause of an overactive mind is outside of this essay's scope. It’s also outside of society’s scope, and I think that we all should try to understand our own minds as if it were our purpose. It’s a blessing and a curse, but all powers have to be learned to be used before they take a turn for the worse. 

Stopping anxiety.

Having an overactive mind does not come with a guide. One of the sources of my social anxiety starts with uncontrolled attention. I learned that we are what controls our emotional and physical reactions. Our mind has a filter that can let stimuli pass all the way to the heart, or stay only at our base senses. 

When I walked through the streets in public, my attention would always focus on how I appear, and the thoughts of random people. My attention was addicted to analyzing, imagining, and making conclusions.

In my lifetime, I’ve spent time with capital D, different people, and saw the twisted expressions of so many strangers, which made me think that we were doing something wrong, and through these exposures, I realized many things and built my truth.

My first countermeasure to anxiety is changing my attention to my physical body movements and intentionally breathing (grounding) instead of analyzing the way I appear (ego) to other people (anxiety). This brings our awareness outside of our minds and into the physical world, muting our trains of thought, allowing us to appreciate the feeling of being alive.

Eventually, thoughts should be addressed. But by detaching from them and not trying to control/suppress someone or myself to conform to a soulless norm, or a fear, I was able to regain my independence. If I need to close my eyes and breathe in a crowded subway, I will do it with all of my focus on that action. If I genuinely want to wear a neon pink outfit, I will, without fear. And if I’m met by negativity, I simply notice it and carry on without taking it to heart. I don’t need to understand the origin of a remark or try to persuade them (control) into my way of being. I just am.

It’s not worth trying to understand or change someone’s attitude, but it is important to defend and clear the path for your sovereignty, without harming anything if possible. People just like us struggle with their attention. Sometimes, when we have no self-priority or no purpose, we can go further than our visual curiosities and try to control someone else.

At the end of the day, your consciousness, your genuine ambitions, and your actions don’t need the approval of others. Sometimes it can be helpful to be detached from external events. People's expressions do not mean anything unless you let them.

Interacting with the world.

As a man, I feel like I’m the one who has to set the signal. If I wait shyly for their attention, then they will be shy too. I need to pre-set my intentions. Welcome people into my attention — not pretend that I didn’t notice them. This is about being genuine with how we feel. If we feel excited to see people, then let our hearts be free by greeting, smiling, etc. But if we feel like being alone, then we can just focus on our purpose, letting eye contact not mean anything.

I started to be honest and accepting of my personality and feelings at the moment. If a conversation was truly entertaining, I wouldn't hold back expressing that. But if a conversation was not going anywhere, I wouldn't be afraid to exit it. And in both situations, I would give it all, or none of my active attention. I would also not expect anything from them, simply be present, and be honest about what you do and don’t want. This way is more just, honest, and liberating for both parties than uninterested, routine, torturous interactions. 

I don’t owe people a performance. We won’t lose anything by not participating, not having chemistry, etc. We will keep living our path, accepting the past as it was, the present as it is, and the future as it will be. I believe conversations are meant to connect authentically with people, or achieve a goal; however, I noticed most of the time they become theatrical, dramatic, egotistical, and sarcastic. Relational dynamics are outside of the scope of this essay, but they became easier for me when I became easier on myself.

Reality is much simpler than the racing thoughts in our minds say it is. We are the ones who assign a meaning or a conclusion to outside events. To get out of our anxiety, we should realize reality and its fluidity and observe it instead of identifying with it.

Being lighter on ourselves and knowing that we are fine the way we are. We don’t need to suppress or amplify ourselves, aka our expressions. 

It is not other people whom we have to please but our own spirits. We shouldn’t be scared when another person enters our awareness, and we can choose if and how we greet them because we don’t owe them anything besides peace.

I think the key to solving social anxiety is having authenticity without fear — being yourself, without thinking about it.