When you lack object constancy and whole object relations and have an impaired ability to empathize then you are left with infatuation. This is the rush of the relationship when nature hooks you up with some of the best and most addictive drugs for a brief window. Usually long enough to ensure that a baby is on the way (pre-birth control) and then those chemicals fade away.

They get that same rush as a neurotypical. They aren’t like psychopaths that lack the oxytocin receptors, so they get the rush and the excitement like most other people. Only the object relations issues create a problem. With the rush of the chemicals gone the late nights and the magnetic draw to each other lifts and normal life sets in. Only, when you are not physically present with them that bonded feeling that they have when you are there is no longer present.

They feel nothing when they think of you in terms of emotional connection. So due to their limitations around empathy and this inability to hold a realistic and stable image of who you are they cannot love in the same way that other people can. It becomes transactional and about what you provide them making them feel good. If you remove what you provide, they have no feeling for you anymore.

So, during the infatuation stage - you bet. You are the magic elixir that soothes the pain of the existential void within them. They feel normal and happy and on top of the world due to nature’s drug high so absolutely you seem like their soul mate. That lasts as long as the chemical high lasts.

Manipulation - that really sets in when actual love should be setting in. By this point they don’t have any of that chemical high anymore and they are getting annoyed with you. You are probably standing up for yourself a bit more and there are more fights than ever. You are not going according to their script. Cue manipulation.

The manipulation is to regain control over the relationship. It will get worse and worse until it’s full out emotional abuse. The more control they gain the less respect they have for you and they see your tears as weakness. You become dehumanized and far below them and if you don’t like the abuse you should leave - so you must like it. That is how much their perspective will change from the beginning to the end.

Bear in mind these are generalities and there are people that are narcissists in this world that do not emotionally abuse and ones that take pride in trying to do the right thing. People are individuals first and narcissists second so it’s not a one size fits all deal. Generally, however, what I have laid out is how it goes. I am not a professional

When you lack object constancy and whole object relations and have an impaired ability to empathize then you are left with infatuation. This is the rush of the relationship when nature hooks you up with some of the best and most addictive drugs for a brief window. Usually long enough to ensure that a baby is on the way (pre-birth control) and then those chemicals fade away.

They get that same rush as a neurotypical. They aren’t like psychopaths that lack the oxytocin receptors, so they get the rush and the excitement like most other people. Only the object relations issues create a problem. With the rush of the chemicals gone the late nights and the magnetic draw to each other lifts and normal life sets in. Only, when you are not physically present with them that bonded feeling that they have when you are there is no longer present.

They feel nothing when they think of you in terms of emotional connection. So due to their limitations around empathy and this inability to hold a realistic and stable image of who you are they cannot love in the same way that other people can. It becomes transactional and about what you provide them making them feel good. If you remove what you provide, they have no feeling for you anymore.

So, during the infatuation stage - you bet. You are the magic elixir that soothes the pain of the existential void within them. They feel normal and happy and on top of the world due to nature’s drug high so absolutely you seem like their soul mate. That lasts as long as the chemical high lasts.

Manipulation - that really sets in when actual love should be setting in. By this point they don’t have any of that chemical high anymore and they are getting annoyed with you. You are probably standing up for yourself a bit more and there are more fights than ever. You are not going according to their script. Cue manipulation.

The manipulation is to regain control over the relationship. It will get worse and worse until it’s full out emotional abuse. The more control they gain the less respect they have for you and they see your tears as weakness. You become dehumanized and far below them and if you don’t like the abuse you should leave - so you must like it. That is how much their perspective will change from the beginning to the end.

Bear in mind these are generalities and there are people that are narcissists in this world that do not emotionally abuse and ones that take pride in trying to do the right thing. People are individuals first and narcissists second so it’s not a one size fits all deal. Generally, however, what I have laid out is how it goes. I am not a professional