Nash Urban is learning to write fiction.
Nash Urban is learning to write fiction.
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Nothing Against Vampires by Nash Urban
The Monster's Ball is supposed to be something sacred, something celebrated; something I look forward to year after year, and it was, up until he showed up.
Now don't get me wrong. I have nothing against vampires, alpha tendencies, and all. I mean they are quiet, both in action and in voice, very well-mannered for the most part, and play a decent game of chess. They can be quite scary and a bit aggressive from time to time, but hey, aren't we all being "monsters" and all? But Vlad. All bets are off when it comes to Vlad.
It is as if you took the most stereotypical human Hollywood vampire ever known, mushed him in a coffin with what's his name, that Rocket Man character from the 1970s... Elton John, that's right Elton John, and just let them marinate in the dark slumber of a thousand centuries for... a thousand centuries.
Just look at him as he flamboyantly floats into the room midnight blue velvet and all. He had skin so white you'd swear he was a mime, if not so loud in both senses of the word. I have seen capes with high collars, but this is ridiculous. Not to mention "Paint the town red" in cursive in no less than 2,431 magnificently sparkling vermilion sequins across the back. A periwinkle puffy shirt with more lace than a lingerie shop, check. Jet black, oil-slicked hair that would make Wall Street jealous, check. A large, ruby-encrusted pendant that resembles a coiled dragon, check. Feathers where there shouldn't be feathers, check. And the blood rose-colored star glasses, I mean, c'mon.
You know what, Austin Powers. It's like vampire Austin Powers with much better teeth and hair. Now all he needs is some kind of obnoxious catchphrase, which he probably has.
I mean even his name is pretentious. Vlad "Cuz" Cantacuzino. Come to think of it, I'm quite positive that isn't even his real name, I mean what kind of self-respecting vampire is called Vlad? A consummate dark showman who knows how to engage and excite an audience, I guess?
Oh, shit, all 185.76cm of him are floating this way. Does he see me? I am invisible. The hat, I forgot to take off the hat.
"Dr. Griffin so good to see you, love," Vlad chuckles at his own emphasis of "see". "I hope you are finding the party well." Another chuckle.
I hate puns. "It's had better years, but yes."
"Yeah, baby!"
I hate Vlad even more.
©️ Nash Urban, 2024
All rights reserved.
A Note on Formatting: Due to the limitations of the text editor, this fictional work appears without traditional indentation for new paragraphs. I will remove this note eventually, but not yet.
I started a course on Udemy because it seemed as good a place as any. There is plenty of free advice out there, but I wanted to start with something that was explicitly designed from top to bottom to be a course rather than what you would typically find on a place like YouTube. Not to discount all of that style of information, but it tends to be more sensational than educational, and I didn't want to take the time to sift through all that sand without a better idea of what it is that I am actually sifting for.
WRITING PROMPT: "TOO MUCH INFORMATION" (BAD WRITING)
So I find myself exploring The Foundations of Fiction lesson block on characters, which happens to be the first real lesson of a 56-lecture course. The takeaway is strong characters are fundamental to compelling fiction. Indeed.
This first exercise is on appearance and has me doing... what not to do. That is describing a character's appearance with way too much information rather than being clear, concise and memorable.
In this prompt, I was to pick one of the characters from the list below (or make up my own).
A Vietnam or Iraq vet
A celebrity chef
An alien
Your first-grade teacher
Han Solo
A first-class passenger on the Titanic
Your son or daughter
A drunk
A famous movie star
A hedge fund manager
A vampire
A 90-year-old grandmother
A medieval knight
There was a bit about setting a timer and yada yada yada, but I just wrote until I didn't.
See you on the next page,
Nash
…
Listen to me add additional spice here: Apple, Spotify, Pocket Casts
Nothing Against Vampires by Nash Urban
The Monster's Ball is supposed to be something sacred, something celebrated; something I look forward to year after year, and it was, up until he showed up.
Now don't get me wrong. I have nothing against vampires, alpha tendencies, and all. I mean they are quiet, both in action and in voice, very well-mannered for the most part, and play a decent game of chess. They can be quite scary and a bit aggressive from time to time, but hey, aren't we all being "monsters" and all? But Vlad. All bets are off when it comes to Vlad.
It is as if you took the most stereotypical human Hollywood vampire ever known, mushed him in a coffin with what's his name, that Rocket Man character from the 1970s... Elton John, that's right Elton John, and just let them marinate in the dark slumber of a thousand centuries for... a thousand centuries.
Just look at him as he flamboyantly floats into the room midnight blue velvet and all. He had skin so white you'd swear he was a mime, if not so loud in both senses of the word. I have seen capes with high collars, but this is ridiculous. Not to mention "Paint the town red" in cursive in no less than 2,431 magnificently sparkling vermilion sequins across the back. A periwinkle puffy shirt with more lace than a lingerie shop, check. Jet black, oil-slicked hair that would make Wall Street jealous, check. A large, ruby-encrusted pendant that resembles a coiled dragon, check. Feathers where there shouldn't be feathers, check. And the blood rose-colored star glasses, I mean, c'mon.
You know what, Austin Powers. It's like vampire Austin Powers with much better teeth and hair. Now all he needs is some kind of obnoxious catchphrase, which he probably has.
I mean even his name is pretentious. Vlad "Cuz" Cantacuzino. Come to think of it, I'm quite positive that isn't even his real name, I mean what kind of self-respecting vampire is called Vlad? A consummate dark showman who knows how to engage and excite an audience, I guess?
Oh, shit, all 185.76cm of him are floating this way. Does he see me? I am invisible. The hat, I forgot to take off the hat.
"Dr. Griffin so good to see you, love," Vlad chuckles at his own emphasis of "see". "I hope you are finding the party well." Another chuckle.
I hate puns. "It's had better years, but yes."
"Yeah, baby!"
I hate Vlad even more.
©️ Nash Urban, 2024
All rights reserved.
A Note on Formatting: Due to the limitations of the text editor, this fictional work appears without traditional indentation for new paragraphs. I will remove this note eventually, but not yet.
I started a course on Udemy because it seemed as good a place as any. There is plenty of free advice out there, but I wanted to start with something that was explicitly designed from top to bottom to be a course rather than what you would typically find on a place like YouTube. Not to discount all of that style of information, but it tends to be more sensational than educational, and I didn't want to take the time to sift through all that sand without a better idea of what it is that I am actually sifting for.
WRITING PROMPT: "TOO MUCH INFORMATION" (BAD WRITING)
So I find myself exploring The Foundations of Fiction lesson block on characters, which happens to be the first real lesson of a 56-lecture course. The takeaway is strong characters are fundamental to compelling fiction. Indeed.
This first exercise is on appearance and has me doing... what not to do. That is describing a character's appearance with way too much information rather than being clear, concise and memorable.
In this prompt, I was to pick one of the characters from the list below (or make up my own).
A Vietnam or Iraq vet
A celebrity chef
An alien
Your first-grade teacher
Han Solo
A first-class passenger on the Titanic
Your son or daughter
A drunk
A famous movie star
A hedge fund manager
A vampire
A 90-year-old grandmother
A medieval knight
There was a bit about setting a timer and yada yada yada, but I just wrote until I didn't.
See you on the next page,
Nash
…
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