Hey, with everyone chasing that million-dollar Article prize right now, the timeline is wild. Tons of creators pouring heart into long-form pieces, respect!

But if you're somehow trying to not win (or just want to laugh at the common pitfalls), here's a gentle, guide from me who's happily watching from the sidelines (spoiler: I'm not US-eligible anyway).

Time it perfectly wrong

Nothing builds massive verified impressions like posting when half the world is asleep.

Go full robot mode

Let AI write the whole thing, no personal touch. Readers can spot "inspirational corporate email" vibes from a mile away and they quietly scroll past.

Keep it exactly 1,001 words

Nail the minimum, then sprinkle in filler like "to sum up... basically... in essence..." until it feels like a PowerPoint on repeat.

No breaks, just walls

One giant paragraph. No headings, no bullets, no images. Turn reading into an extreme sport.

Pick the safest topic ever

"Discipline + Hustle = Success in 2026" say it like nobody's ever said it before. Bonus if you repeat "harsh truth" 20 times.

End with the classic beg

"If this hit home, repost, like, bookmark and tag your entire family tree" Desperation is a great way to make people smile... and keep scrolling.

The funny part? Most of us are accidentally doing a version of this while rushing to finish before the deadline. The real winners are probably the ones who just write something honest, personal, and well-formatted no tricks needed.

So yeah, go write your heart out or follow these steps and join me in the "glorious participation" club. Either way, it's entertaining as hell watching the experiment unfold.

Hey, with everyone chasing that million-dollar Article prize right now, the timeline is wild. Tons of creators pouring heart into long-form pieces, respect!

But if you're somehow trying to not win (or just want to laugh at the common pitfalls), here's a gentle, guide from me who's happily watching from the sidelines (spoiler: I'm not US-eligible anyway).

Time it perfectly wrong

Nothing builds massive verified impressions like posting when half the world is asleep.

Go full robot mode

Let AI write the whole thing, no personal touch. Readers can spot "inspirational corporate email" vibes from a mile away and they quietly scroll past.

Keep it exactly 1,001 words

Nail the minimum, then sprinkle in filler like "to sum up... basically... in essence..." until it feels like a PowerPoint on repeat.

No breaks, just walls

One giant paragraph. No headings, no bullets, no images. Turn reading into an extreme sport.

Pick the safest topic ever

"Discipline + Hustle = Success in 2026" say it like nobody's ever said it before. Bonus if you repeat "harsh truth" 20 times.

End with the classic beg

"If this hit home, repost, like, bookmark and tag your entire family tree" Desperation is a great way to make people smile... and keep scrolling.

The funny part? Most of us are accidentally doing a version of this while rushing to finish before the deadline. The real winners are probably the ones who just write something honest, personal, and well-formatted no tricks needed.

So yeah, go write your heart out or follow these steps and join me in the "glorious participation" club. Either way, it's entertaining as hell watching the experiment unfold.