In every acquisition, there’s someone at the acquiring company who quietly wants you to win—your advocate.

And there’s often someone who, for reasons you may never fully know, doesn’t—your foe.

Spotting and managing both can be the difference between a smooth close and a slow death.

When I sold RARA to Mask Network, my advocate was Homin Luo, founder of NextID. I first met Homin when meeting potential investors and buyers at ETH Denver. Spending a lot of time around him and the Mask team, it was clear Homin had vision and influence.

From our first conversation, he understood the value of what we’d built—not just the tech, but the complimentary value of our protocol’s engagement graph played to NextID’s social graph. He knew the strategic fit inside Mask’s broader ecosystem, and he took personal ownership of making the deal happen.

Homin pushed meetings forward when calendars stalled and back channeled when the deal ran into resistance with the finance team. He translated internal priorities into clear asks so I could address them before they became objections. He worked behind the scenes to line up support from other product teams on not just the technicals but the vision.

And most importantly, he sold the deal when I wasn’t in the room. He sold our shared vision of the future of consumer social.

That’s what an advocate does—they carry your story and your numbers into rooms you’ll never see. Without an advocate, even a great deal can die in busy calendars and lost momentum.

Months earlier, I’d been in advanced talks with another potential acquirer. The CEO was a strong personal connection and we had years of a shared working relationship. On the surface, the fit looked perfect.

But inside their company was a different story. The deal’s foe was a senior leader with soft power over a number of business units. They saw me personally as competition for budget, headcount, and frankly their personal authority and influence.

They raised doubts about competency and framed the deal as a distraction to other business leaders. And, most damningly the CEO shared my proposed role as COO and compensation structure - a stark difference to the foe’s title and compensation.

When I realized the strategic mistake, I tried delicately to explain the dynamics at play and why we need to de-scope the deal teams to only those who need to know and directly influence growth outcomes.

It was too late. The foe had convened an internal meeting—and killed the deal.

The CEO wanted the deal and our team to join his company. But by the time the internal resistance had hardened, it didn’t matter. The deal was dead.

That’s the thing about a foe: they rarely have to say “no” outright. They just slow things down, seed doubt, and create enough friction that momentum disappears.

You can’t control every personality inside a buyer’s org, but you can:

1. Find your advocate early – Look for the person leaning in, asking sharp questions, and showing up without being chased. Their energy level is your tell.

2. Arm them with proof – Give them the story, the strategic fit, and the data they need to win over other stakeholders. As the deal progresses, give advocates talking points to address concerns and neutralize potential foes.

3. Identify your foe – Listen for repeated objections, subtle reframing of your value, or people who disappear when decisions get made. Again - energy levels and their presence are your tell.

4. Neutralize without confronting – Engage foes directly, acknowledge their concerns, and find ways to make the deal less threatening to their priorities. Most importantly, identify their motivations - social or financial. Do they care about title and power or are they more financially driven. Use this insight to frame the deal in a way that protects their ego and, where possible, gives them a win.

If you’re on the acquiring side, know this: every deal you pursue has both an advocate and a foe inside your company. The question is whether you recognize them early enough to act.

• Empower your advocates – Give them authority, resources, and time to shepherd the deal.

• Surface your foes – They’re not always wrong. Sometimes their resistance points to real risks. Address those risks instead of letting them fester. Separate egos from outcomes.

• Share information strategically – Advocates and foes both need information to be effective, but not everyone needs to know everything. Limit sensitive details—like compensation—to legal and finance to avoid unnecessary internal strife. Give each deal team member only what’s relevant to the outcomes they own.

In M&A, the advocate moves your deal forward.

The foe slows it down—or stops it cold.

You don’t get to choose whether these roles exist. But you do get to choose how you work with each.

Your exit will depend on it.

In every acquisition, there’s someone at the acquiring company who quietly wants you to win—your advocate.

And there’s often someone who, for reasons you may never fully know, doesn’t—your foe.

Spotting and managing both can be the difference between a smooth close and a slow death.

When I sold RARA to Mask Network, my advocate was Homin Luo, founder of NextID. I first met Homin when meeting potential investors and buyers at ETH Denver. Spending a lot of time around him and the Mask team, it was clear Homin had vision and influence.

From our first conversation, he understood the value of what we’d built—not just the tech, but the complimentary value of our protocol’s engagement graph played to NextID’s social graph. He knew the strategic fit inside Mask’s broader ecosystem, and he took personal ownership of making the deal happen.

Homin pushed meetings forward when calendars stalled and back channeled when the deal ran into resistance with the finance team. He translated internal priorities into clear asks so I could address them before they became objections. He worked behind the scenes to line up support from other product teams on not just the technicals but the vision.

And most importantly, he sold the deal when I wasn’t in the room. He sold our shared vision of the future of consumer social.

That’s what an advocate does—they carry your story and your numbers into rooms you’ll never see. Without an advocate, even a great deal can die in busy calendars and lost momentum.

Months earlier, I’d been in advanced talks with another potential acquirer. The CEO was a strong personal connection and we had years of a shared working relationship. On the surface, the fit looked perfect.

But inside their company was a different story. The deal’s foe was a senior leader with soft power over a number of business units. They saw me personally as competition for budget, headcount, and frankly their personal authority and influence.

They raised doubts about competency and framed the deal as a distraction to other business leaders. And, most damningly the CEO shared my proposed role as COO and compensation structure - a stark difference to the foe’s title and compensation.

When I realized the strategic mistake, I tried delicately to explain the dynamics at play and why we need to de-scope the deal teams to only those who need to know and directly influence growth outcomes.

It was too late. The foe had convened an internal meeting—and killed the deal.

The CEO wanted the deal and our team to join his company. But by the time the internal resistance had hardened, it didn’t matter. The deal was dead.

That’s the thing about a foe: they rarely have to say “no” outright. They just slow things down, seed doubt, and create enough friction that momentum disappears.

You can’t control every personality inside a buyer’s org, but you can:

1. Find your advocate early – Look for the person leaning in, asking sharp questions, and showing up without being chased. Their energy level is your tell.

2. Arm them with proof – Give them the story, the strategic fit, and the data they need to win over other stakeholders. As the deal progresses, give advocates talking points to address concerns and neutralize potential foes.

3. Identify your foe – Listen for repeated objections, subtle reframing of your value, or people who disappear when decisions get made. Again - energy levels and their presence are your tell.

4. Neutralize without confronting – Engage foes directly, acknowledge their concerns, and find ways to make the deal less threatening to their priorities. Most importantly, identify their motivations - social or financial. Do they care about title and power or are they more financially driven. Use this insight to frame the deal in a way that protects their ego and, where possible, gives them a win.

If you’re on the acquiring side, know this: every deal you pursue has both an advocate and a foe inside your company. The question is whether you recognize them early enough to act.

• Empower your advocates – Give them authority, resources, and time to shepherd the deal.

• Surface your foes – They’re not always wrong. Sometimes their resistance points to real risks. Address those risks instead of letting them fester. Separate egos from outcomes.

• Share information strategically – Advocates and foes both need information to be effective, but not everyone needs to know everything. Limit sensitive details—like compensation—to legal and finance to avoid unnecessary internal strife. Give each deal team member only what’s relevant to the outcomes they own.

In M&A, the advocate moves your deal forward.

The foe slows it down—or stops it cold.

You don’t get to choose whether these roles exist. But you do get to choose how you work with each.

Your exit will depend on it.