Every once in a while, a new player gets compared to Messi. If you've been around long enough, you know the drill. It's usually a bright young wonder kid, a good dribbler, great in tight spaces, and can play multiple positions across the forward. After a few good games, people start throwing terms like "Messi-esque" around when describing them.

This year, Newcastle signed 23-year-old Nick Woltemade from VFB Stuttgart, and I noticed fans of the German club referring to him as "Woltemessi" in their farewell messages on social media. At first, I thought it was some kind of inside joke because at first glance, he didn't look anything like the kind of player who gets compared to Messi. I mean, when you sign a striker that big, you're signing him to be a big target man like Peter Crouch or Didier Drogba, right? Surely they couldn't mean that the 6ft6' German has anything remotely close to Messi's ability on the ball. I soon realised, however, that that was exactly what they meant.

Woltemade has made an outstanding start to life at Newcastle, and ever since arriving in the Premier League, he’s been catching everyone off guard with how good he is on the ball. Anyone who’s watched him even a little has probably realised he’s absurdly talented at this whole ball-playing business. You just don’t see players of his size drifting through midfield with the ball seemingly stuck to their boots. As one guy on Twitter put it: “it’s like if an antelope had the grace of a leopard.”

I could go on, but so much has been said about Woltemade's ability on the ball and his willingness to drop deep and link play while also being a very decent goal threat that it will not be the main focus of this essay. Adam Clery's video on Nick Woltemade after he signed for Newcastle is a good place to start if you want to understand what makes this guy so unique. There is also this frankly ridiculous stat from Spencer Mossman that just gives you a sense of how strange this player is.

Spencer Mossman

@fc_mossman

Fun Nick Woltemade stat:

He is one of three players in T5 Leagues with 18+ touches in the midfield 3rd and 8+ touches in the attacking penalty area p90.

The other two are Ousmane Demebele & Jamal Musiala.

Pretty well encapsulates Woltemade's unique profile as both a

221

2:05 PM • Jun 13, 2025

That being said, what I really want to talk about is Woltemade's ability to create space and goal-scoring opportunities for his teammates in ways that don't get picked up by the stats we tend to measure strikers with.

In their 3-0 win against Benfica, Newcastle had two players on the scoresheet: Anthony Gordon and Harvey Barnes. Barnes scored twice, and Gordon also found the back of the net as the Magpies beat the Portuguese club comfortably. Woltemade played 86 minutes before being replaced by William Osula and didn't have a goal or an assist.

Given the facts I have just presented, you would think that Newcastle's striker didn't have much of an impact on the goal-scoring action in this game. It would be a reasonable conclusion to draw from those stats, and yet you would be terribly wrong to draw that conclusion.

Just look at the build-up for the second Harvey Barnes goal. Look at how the deftness of Woltemade's touch into the path of Anthony Gordon confuses one defender, and then his run drags another defender with him, opening up the space for Gordon to play Harvey Barnes in on goal. Without Woltemade, that goal doesn't happen, and yet that bit of play won't show up on any of the output stats we judge strikers by.

I've spent quite a bit of time watching him in games from as far back as 2021, trying to nail down what it is about him that makes him such an enigma. This is, I believe, what Nick Woltemade is all about, contributing to his team's overall play in ways that are hard to nail down statistically. To be clear, it's not all he does; he does contribute goals directly as well, but his style of play brings an extra dimension to it that is a bit hard to nail down statistically.

Here's another example.

Germany beat Slovakia 6-0 in their last game of World Cup qualifying to secure a spot at the 2026 World Cup. Woltemade played the full ninety minutes and scored one goal, not a bad return for a striker who is in particularly sparkling form for his country right now.

But, if you begin at around 0:17 below, you can see this ability to contribute in open play in the build-up for Baku's goal. Once again, he has attracted so many Slovakian players to him, freeing up space for his teammates. When that clip begins rolling, there are four players around him, but he holds on to the ball and releases it to Gnabry, who finds Baku in space and Baku scores.

By the time the ball gets to Baku, you can see two Slovakian defenders who had been marking Woltemade sprinting desperately across as they suddenly realise how much space they've left behind them by focusing on the big German.

Once again, this won't show up on the stats as an assist, but this goal does not happen without Woltemade's ability to retain the ball under immense pressure and locate teammates in space. Oh, and mind you, he nutmegs a defender while being surrounded by four players, and he does it so casually, cool as a cucumber.

This guy is an enigma.

He's the kind of player who might have a barren run in front of goal, and his manager will just keep playing him constantly. Because the manager can see the value he adds to the team. Value that cannot be observed by those who have been blinded by the god of goals/assists, xG, chances created, and other such stats.

I think it has to be said that, despite the obvious utility of a player like Nick Woltemade, there is something more to his game that makes him enchanting to watch.

Thanks to his ability on the ball and willingness to drop deep, Woltemade spends a lot of time between the lines. Watch any comp you can find of Woltemade, and his ability on the ball will take you aback. You will also notice that he receives the ball between the lines a lot, often retaining it under pressure before releasing it to a teammate in space. Players tall enough to play professional basketball should not be able to glide about the pitch as gracefully as he does. Every touch, every action, every completed pass is about as sublime as it is puzzling, and this is why I love watching this guy so much.

CounterPressers

@CounterPressers

Nick Woltemade is like a release pressure valve for his teammates; unburdening them from the most immense levels of pressure.

You can fizz the ball into him from any angle & he’ll bail you out, finding the next pass forward you couldn’t.

5,339

12:41 PM • Oct 24, 2025

I'll be honest with you, I don't like people who judge footballers heavily through the lens of aesthetics. Efficiency is far more important to me than aesthetics, and should be the most important factor in evaluating a player. As long as a player does what they're supposed to do well, they should get all the credit due them.

However, I must admit that I love the magicians of football; I love the players whose actions give the game an almost sensual quality. The way Trent Alexander-Arnold caresses the ball into the path of his teammates is something that a "passes completed" stat can never capture. De Bruyne's half-space passes, Ozil's ability to put it right in the path of his teammate, Berbatov's first touch, these things cannot be statistically quantified. They're moments of beauty and wonder that can rival the most beautiful landscapes nature has to offer.

Something I came to realise while writing this is that it's not only the actions that create opportunities for teammates without ending up in the g/a column that constitute Woltemade's uncanny ability to dance between the stats. Those actions are difficult to quantify, true, but so is his ability to mesmerise on the ball. His ability to receive the ball under pressure and move it out of his feet with such grace and finesse is something to be enjoyed for its own sake, whether or not these passes lead to something measurable like a "shot creating action" is almost completely besides the point.

Newcastle have a true magician on their hands, and he's just getting started.