*The mind is a powerful servant, but a terrible master - *Unknown

The world we live in today is filled with negative news and trivial banter on social media that can have a detrimental effect on our minds and souls over time. It's important to be mindful of what we allow into our minds, as negative thoughts can lead to feelings of disempowerment, disenchantment and disillusionment.

One way to counteract this is to proactively feed our minds with positive and uplifting content. This can be as simple as reading for 10 minutes a day, meditating for 10 minutes in the morning, or listening to a podcast during your commute. These small actions can become habits that shape our perspective and help us to better control our thoughts and environment.

Additionally, it's important to stand guard at the door of your mind and be selective about what you let in. This means being mindful of the news you consume and the social media interactions you engage in, and making a conscious effort to seek out positive and uplifting content. By making these small changes and consistently feeding our minds with positive content, we can elevate our lives and find new opportunities for improvement.

“Stand guard at the door of your mind.”

If you don’t watch what you let into your mind – negative thoughts from yourself or from others – then you are allowing weeds to grow and to spread. Life just starts to happens to you. No matter how smart you are, how savvy you are, how inspired you are – if you don’t stand guard at the door of your mind, then you are giving the tacit approval of the disempowering, disenchanting and disillusioning.

So what’s the best way to feed your mind? To proactively feed it. And that is a lot easier than you may think. Tell yourself that this year, there isn’t going to be a single day where you don’t do something that positively feeds your mind. Even if it’s as minuscule as reading for 10 minutes a day. Even if it’s meditating for 10 minutes every morning. Think that’s too much? Then what about listening to a podcast on your commute. How much extra time does that take out of your day? Absolutely none!

The more that you make this a habit, the more engrained it will become in the way you go throughout the day. Negative news on the television will begin to signal you to change the channel. Pedantic arguments on social media will inspire you to watch an inspiring YouTube clip. The stress of a morning commute may even turn into your favorite part of the day as you listen to an empowering and enlightening podcast.

Eventually, these small changes will add up in one very big way. You will become more in control of your thoughts. You will become more in command of your environment. And you will be more conscious of the ways that you can elevate your life and find new opportunities for improvement.

Standing guard at the door of your mind means being mindful of the thoughts and information that you allow into your mind. Here are some ways to do that:

1. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is the act of being present in the moment and aware of your thoughts and emotions. By practicing mindfulness, you can become more aware of negative thoughts and choose to let them go instead of dwelling on them.

2. Limit exposure to negative news and social media: The constant bombardment of negative news and petty arguments on social media can have a negative impact on your mental well-being. Limit your exposure to these sources by setting time limits for yourself or unfollowing accounts that bring negativity into your life.

3. Fill your mind with positive information: Proactively feed your mind with positive thoughts, ideas, and inspiration. This can be done by reading uplifting books, listening to inspiring podcasts, or watching motivational videos.

4. Practice self-reflection: Take time to reflect on your thoughts and emotions. This will help you to identify negative patterns and work on changing them.

5. Surround yourself with positive people: The people you surround yourself with can also have a significant impact on your thoughts and emotions. Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you.

Remember, standing guard at the door of your mind is an ongoing process and it takes time and effort to establish a positive mindset. But by making small changes in your daily habits, you can gradually shift your mindset to one that is more positive and empowering.

Focus on increasing the quality of your thoughts. Shape the quality of your thoughts (!) to improve your world. Your thoughts are a translation from your source of life, they form your actions. See your mind as a garden, nourish it with the best you can find, and maintain it. Do NOT let the weeds take over. Use your mind at the highest level of functioning.

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The keys to genius

The first key to genius is Growth.

• Mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck is all about the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset. • People who excel at the highest level are committed to growth and consistent improvement. • It’s not about perfection but progress because practice makes progress. • In what ways are you committed to the growth mindset? • Have you scheduled that growth into your calendar? • People say they want better health and more income…but if you don’t schedule it, it won’t happen. • Consider: what is your self-growth time? What is on your to-learn list (and not just your to-do list)? What’s on your to-grow list?

The second key to genius is Giving. • The road to excellence isn’t about “me.” It’s about “we.” • Everything in nature gives or is eliminated – which means you grow so you have more to give. • This is why when you teach something, you get to learn it twice. • When you learn and grow with the intention to give, you have more of yourself. • You don’t give to get. You give because it’s who you are.

The third key to genius is Gratitude. • Some people create vision boards to help them achieve their goals. Why not create a gratitude board? • In Kwik Brain 016: My Morning Routine (How to Jumpstart Your Brain & Day), I spoke of how I like to start my day with gratitude. • How can you appreciate the things you’ll eventually have if you don’t appreciate what you have now? • If you want to truly feel wealthy, write down everything you have in your life that money can’t buy. Think of your health, the people you love, your sense of sight, et cetera. • Success builds on success – but you must appreciate the success you already have.

The fourth key to genius is Grit. • Grit is perseverance, persistence, and your ability to overcome difficulties. There is a bestselling book called Grit by Angela Duckworth. • When you have a big goal, you’re going to face challenges. • Look at your problems as puzzles. • At a past Kwik Brain event, I asked renowned music producer, the then-84-year-old Quincy Jones, how he overcame problems. • He responded, “I don’t have problems. I have puzzles.” • This is a great perspective because puzzles are fun AND have solutions. • I dedicated my life to solving the puzzle of how memory works. Now, I give it to other people because I am grateful for the opportunity. My struggle led to strength. • You build grit through practice. • Grit is a muscle, and challenge leads to change. • Most people have heard of post-traumatic stress, but not post-traumatic growth. • • Many people who’ve faced adversity say they wouldn’t change anything because this adversity gave them a mission and a new sense of meaning they couldn’t get anywhere else. • To build grit, put yourself in uncomfortable positions. Bruce Lee once said, “If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there. You must go beyond them.” • The difference between a normal person and a champion is that a champion is willing to push past the pain period. • I once was invited to a boxing match with Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger. When I asked them what the difference between a normal person and a champion is, this is the answer Arnold gave me. • With curls, the one you don’t want to do the most is the one that’s going to help you the most. • Grit also helps you be resourceful. • MacGyver was able to survive on his island not because he had resources but because he was able to find and develop resources when he had none. This required a level of grit and persistence – which he developed by going through painful times. • When you are going through painful times and unsure whether to take on something, ask yourself: will the pleasure outweigh the pain?

Seven internal laws for mastering your mind:

1. Law of subjective reality – the nature of the world is determined by your nature. You can shape your world, choose the color of your lens. Toxic thoughts drain you. Your thoughts are things, little bundles of energy you create releasing a tiny message in the world and shaping your reality (“neurotransmitters”). Only put in the best information, what goes in goes out. You are NOT your thoughts, you are the creator of your thoughts.

2. Law of like and attraction: what you think is what you get. What you lack, can be traced back to your thoughts. You can get what you want (!) Start filling your day with only good and positive thoughts. Thoughts are like boomerangs. An abundant conscience creates wealthy mindsets. Example: spend time visiting places wealthy people went, even if you don’t have the money, just to get into the right mindset. Take yourself to a place where wealth is. Create that prosperity mindset. Important note: there are different forms of wealth, and financial wealth is not the only one.

3. The power of Darma. If you haven’t found meaning in your life, you haven’t found purpose. The ultimate purpose of life is a life of purpose. The noblest thing that you can do is to discover your purpose. We all have a calling, and it is our number one duty to discover what that purpose is all about. We all have a special genius, flip on the mind switch. Two simple steps: find your Darma, your daily purpose, and step 2: take single-minded daily action to fulfill this purpose. The singularity of purpose. Find out what you were meant to do and then have the courage to do it. The happiest moment in your life is the moment you discover your Darma. Knowing your purpose is like having a personal lighthouse. Your Darma is your anchor, it gives you the courage to stop your fire from spreading in 100 directions. When you are on purpose, you get off chaos. “Be ashamed to die, unless you have scored a victory for mankind.”

4. The law of Karma. Your mind is like a muscle, the more your use it and push it, the more it starts to grow. Take dedicated action towards your Darma (Karma). Karma is the law of cause and effect. For every action you take in your life, you receive an equal appropriate amount of reaction. “You get what you deserve”. Follow your Darma through the events of your Karma.

5. Law of conditional gratitude. The person that stops being thankful, has fallen asleep in life. Study the opposite as well: the law of familiar focus. The things you are most familiar with are the ones you take for granted and don’t appreciate. Family? Kids? How often do you give thanks for all the good things?

6. Law of egoless, selfless service! To improve the quality of your life, the best thing you can do is to improve the quality of life of others.

Creating the mindset of a champion is all about reprogramming your mind. It's about transforming your mindset and achieving your dreams in 8 steps.

Step 1: Decide what you want. The first step to creating the mindset of a champion is to decide what it is you truly deserve. Don't be afraid to think big and let yourself want more out of life.

Step 2: Believe in yourself. You need to hold a deep belief that you truly deserve good things. Don't let limiting beliefs hold you back from getting what you deserve.

Step 3: Be willing to receive. So many of us are givers, always focusing on the needs of others. To get what you deserve, you need to have time and energy to spend on yourself and an open mindset that is ready to receive.

Step 4: Raise your standards. We get what we're willing to put up with. If you're not getting what you think you deserve, you need to raise your standards.

Step 5: Embrace change. To raise your standards, you're going to have to make some changes. If you're not able to get what you deserve where you are, then leave. Change jobs, change relationships and surround yourself with people who have the things that you want and who will challenge you to reach your goals.

Step 6: Take a chance. No change worth making comes without risk. Learn to overcome anxiety and be willing to put yourself out there to take a chance. Failure is a part of achieving anything worthwhile.

Step 7: Build your confidence. Getting out of your comfort zone will naturally build your confidence. Confident people go after things even if they don't think they deserve them.

Step 8: Stay consistent. Consistently reprogramming your mind, being consistent in your actions and holding yourself to a high standard is key to creating the mindset of a champion.

Creating the mindset of a champion is a process and it takes time, but if you're willing to put in the work, you can achieve your dreams. Remember that life doesn't owe you anything and that you have the power to control your thoughts and actions. With an open and positive mindset, and a willingness to work for it, you can get what you truly deserve.

Understand and take control of the subconscious mind

Have you ever felt like you've hit a plateau in life? Like you're stuck in the status quo and not living up to your full potential? Well, it's not too late to change that. You can reprogram your mind and give yourself the focus and determination to design a life filled with fulfillment, joy, and passion.

We all have a vague idea of what we think we deserve in life. But when things don't go according to plan, we often become frustrated and upset. "Why is this happening to me?" we wonder. While this discontent can be powerful and spur us to make changes, it can also lead to self-sabotage. We start to think we deserve better and work a little harder for a few days, but then we drop back down to where we think we belong.

What if I told you that you can take active control and reprogram your mind to redirect your focus and make your life a masterpiece? The subconscious mind is the key to success and learning how to reprogram it can make all the difference.

But what exactly is the subconscious mind? It's the part of our mind that makes decisions without us actively thinking about them. It's different from the conscious mind, which encompasses the thoughts we're aware of having at any given moment, and the unconscious mind, which holds past events and experiences that we don't remember.

An example of the subconscious mind at work is learning to play an instrument. At first, you have to actively think about translating the sheet music and moving your fingers to play each note. But as you practice, you find that you can pick up any song and play it without thinking.

The subconscious mind affects every aspect of our lives, from information processing to the beliefs and values we hold. It determines our memories and monitors the information around us, deciding what to send to the conscious mind and what to store for later. And yet, most of us aren't even aware of its power.

So, how long does it take to reprogram the subconscious mind? On average, it takes about three to four weeks, but it could take longer depending on how ingrained the behavior is that you want to change and your limiting beliefs.

To reprogram your mind for success, there are three steps you need to take to shift your mindset and focus in the right direction:

1. Decide: Gain absolute clarity on what it is you want. What is your desired outcome? What does an extraordinary life look like to you? The more thought and detail you put into this, the stronger and more powerful your vision will become, creating a subconscious mind map to turn that vision into reality.

2. Believe: Believe that you deserve what you want. Stop letting limiting beliefs hold you back. Put the past behind you and have faith in yourself.

3. Take action: Be willing to receive and take action to achieve your goals. Raise your standards, embrace change, take risks and build your confidence.

By understanding and taking control of the subconscious mind, you can reprogram it to give you the focus and determination it takes to design a life that gives you fulfillment, joy, and passion. So, what are you waiting for? It's time to take back control of your mind and set your sights on something better.

In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life and lose sight of the present moment. We're constantly bombarded with distractions, whether it's the constant notifications on our phones or the never-ending to-do list in our minds. But what if there was a way to break free from this cycle of stress and anxiety and tap into a deeper sense of clarity and focus? This is where mindfulness comes in.

At its core, mindfulness is the practice of being fully present and engaged in the current moment, without judgment. It's about paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations, and learning to observe them without getting caught up in them. This simple yet powerful practice has been shown to have a wide range of benefits, from reducing stress and anxiety to improving focus and creativity.

About mindfulness:

• Mindfulness has been shown to activate the default mode network (DMN) in the brain, which is associated with self-referential thinking and mind-wandering. This suggests that mindfulness may help us to become less caught up in our thoughts and more focused on the present moment.

• Mindfulness has been shown to reduce activity in the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for the "fight or flight" response. This suggests that mindfulness may help us to become less reactive to stress and more resilient in the face of challenges.

• Mindfulness has been shown to increase gray matter in the hippocampus, the part of the brain associated with memory and learning. This suggests that mindfulness may help us to improve our cognitive function and become more creative.

So, how can you integrate mindfulness into your life? Here are a few practical tips:

1. Start small. Mindfulness is a skill that takes practice, so don't expect to become an expert overnight. Start with just a few minutes of mindfulness each day and gradually increase the duration as you become more comfortable with the practice.

2. Find a quiet place. Mindfulness is best practiced in a quiet, distraction-free environment. Find a place where you can sit comfortably and focus on your breath.

3. Focus on your breath. The breath is a powerful anchor for the mind, and focusing on it can help you to stay present in the moment. As you breathe in, count to four, and as you breathe out, count to four.

4. Observe your thoughts. When your mind begins to wander, simply observe your thoughts without getting caught up in them. Imagine that you are watching a movie, and your thoughts are the characters on the screen.

5. Practice regularly. Mindfulness is like a muscle; the more you use it, the stronger it becomes. Try to practice mindfulness at least once a day, and make it a part of your daily routine.

What is my state of mind?

“State of mind” is defined as the quality of one’s consciousness as it relates to the outside world, as well as the perception of inner thoughts and emotions. It includes your mood and your mental state at a certain point in time. Depressed, anxious, rational, critical and engaged are all examples of states of mind. You can even be in more than one state of mind at a time.

Before you can answer the question, “How do I change my state of mind?,” you need to know how it’s different from mood. Your mood is fleeting. If someone cuts you off in traffic, you may feel angry. Or if you read a sad news story, you may feel depressed. Even if you then go through the entire day feeling that way, it’s still just a bad mood. Your state of mind is on a higher level of consciousness – and you have control over both. When you’re in control of your state of mind, you’re the master of your emotions and you understand that life is happening for you, not to you. When you change your mood, you change your life.

The difference between peak performance and poor performance is not intelligence or ability; most often it’s the state that your mind and body is in.

Check your state

In a rut?

1. Identifying the signs of being stuck in a rut: feeling tired and rundown, nothing excites or challenges you, feeling like life is on a negative loop, not having energy, not being excited for the day, staying in your comfort zone, not getting ahead.

2. Identifying the cause of being stuck in a rut: the fear of failure and the desire for certainty.

3. Steps to getting out of a rut: getting out of denial, uncovering the real reason, setting new goals, creating new habits, and training the brain to make new connections.

How to get out of your rut

Step 1: Identify the source of your fear and negative emotions. Recognize that external forces may be causing these emotions, but that you have the power to take control of your internal reaction to them.

Step 2: Take action to shift your focus. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts and worst-case scenarios, focus on what you have and practice gratitude. Connect and contribute to something greater than yourself. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment such as reading a book, exercise or spending time with loved ones.

Step 3: Embrace uncertainty and develop a sense of faith. Recognize that certainty is a habit that can be created and that by focusing on what you can control and make happen, you can shift your mindset and emotions.

Step 4: Create a list of activities to help you feel better fast when you are experiencing negative emotions. These activities should be positive and not include addictive substances such as food, alcohol or drugs. Examples could include going for a walk, journaling, meditating, or listening to music.

Step 5: Practice mindfulness and being present in the moment. By being fully engaged in the present, you can reduce stress and negative emotions.

Step 6: Seek help if necessary. Sometimes, negative emotions and fear can be overwhelming and may require professional help. Don't hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor for support.

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Five timeless techniques. Master Kim example: poring tea while cup was full in back yard with friend. Just like this cup, you are overflowing with your own ideas. How can ever go more in unless you first empty this cup? Keep your cups empty, stay open for new ideas. Be creative and full of energy.

Don’t become a slave of complacency. Don’t do the same things every day, you get the same results. Push your mind, your body, your soul to the highest boundaries. This is scary.

1. Technique of the mantra (man = mind, tra = freeing). The words you use, shape your inner identity and the way you see yourself. Replace the bad words for good words. ALSO watch your inner dialogue. Identify yourself with your mantra’s, not materials. Best moments to program your mind is just before you wake up or just before you go to bed, when your mind is most receptive. You change your mind to mantra’s instead of mental clutter that usually is in your head. How to apply mantra’s? • Use in present tense (I am xxxx) • Say mantra’s out loud (softly under your breath) • Write down your affirmations on paper • Make them rime or bring in a rhythm (‘I’m a lean, keen, high-performing machine’). • You can also use quotes

2. The second technique for self-leadership is blue printing. Create a blue-print, a crystal clear mental picture of every aspect in your life before you take action. The mind work through pictures, the more clear you can see yourself the greater chance this will happen. VISUALISE. See something first in your mind’s eye, you then have a superb chance of creating that in reality. Be an architect of the future. Visualise your dreams, but all aspects you do. LIFE IS A MENTAL GAME. How to set up a good blue print? • Before you start, be in a relaxed state (be fully open and perceptieve to create a blue print). A tensed mind blocks effective visualisations. Block every effective high-performance for that matter. Deep breath, meditation. Release that genius state, I’m all about. • Picture yourself performing ideally in that situation. Create that mental picture, on how you want to act. The clearer and better, get the power of emtions behind it. KEY: Visualize -> emotionalise  realize. • Mentally rehears the outcome before the event: 20 days before happening. Persistance is the mother of personal change.

3. The creation of a death-bed mentality. Start living every day as if it is your last: ask yourself in the beginning of the day to get yourself focused: what would I do today if this day was my last? In your minds eye, see yourself acting as if it was your last day.

4. A milestone conscience. Set daily, monthly, weekly milestones/objectives so you know where you are going. How can you hit a target that you don’t even see and how do you know you have arrived when you are there? You also need a benchmark to mark your growth and see progress. They will give you the focus to start spending your days on the truly most meaningful, most vital and most high impact activities that influence your life. Life goals on goal cards and bring them almost with you. Ghandi: satisfaction lies in the effort, not the attainment. Full effort, is full victory.

5. Human beings are only capable to act on the information in their mind. You can only do what you know. Watch a child: there are no limits. Our actions are limited by these limitations: keep your cup empty. Be constantly hungry for new information and knowledge. We are happiest when we are growing and knowledge is the first source of personal growth. Most happy when you are expanding (remember own happiest moments?). ACT ON WHAT YOU KnOW! It is not about what you know, but what do you do with what you know (!) READING is the most powerful tool we have. We can read up decades from a writer in a few hours. All of the answers out there can be found in a book. Reading is a great form of inner strength. Churchill’s speech: never. Never. Never. Never give up. We are masters of our own faith.

To shift your mindset, stop looking at life as an all-or-nothing situation. Oftentimes changing your mindset happens in small increments. The two-millimeter rule: Sometimes all it takes to change your mindset forever is the smallest, two-millimeter shift in the way you see the world.

Are you ready to take control of your thoughts and reach your full potential? Here are 10 steps to change your mindset and achieve success:

1. Challenge your limiting beliefs: These are the negative stories we tell ourselves about ourselves that hold us back. Recognize and replace them with empowering beliefs.

2. Face your fears: Fear can be a destructive emotion, but it doesn't have to control you. Recognize and overcome your fears to open up new opportunities.

3. Shift your perspective: Change the meaning you give to experiences and see challenges as opportunities.

4. Change your self-talk: Positive language and mantras can change your energy and mindset for the day.

5. Get support: A professional coach can help guide you in changing your mindset and achieving your goals. Take the first step today!

6. Challenge your limiting beliefs, and replace them with empowering ones

7. Change your inner monologue and turn your inner critic into a friend

8. Adjust your posture and use body language to send positive signals to your brain

9. Smile, even if you don't feel like it, it can trick your mind into thinking you're happy

10. Move your body, as emotions are created by motion, and physical activity can change your state of mind.

Practical examples:

1. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, yoga, and deep breathing can help you become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations, which can help you gain control over them and reach a more positive state of mind.

2. Positive affirmations: Repeating positive affirmations to yourself can help you change negative thoughts and beliefs into positive ones, which can help you reach a more positive state of mind.

3. Visualization: Visualizing yourself achieving your goals and reaching your peak state can help you focus on what you want to achieve and create a positive mindset.

4. Setting and achieving goals: Setting and achieving goals can help you focus on what you want to achieve and help you reach a peak state.

5. Surrounding yourself with positive influences: Surrounding yourself with positive people, activities, and environments can help you maintain a positive mindset and reach a peak state.

6. Gratitude practice: Practicing gratitude by focusing on the things you are thankful for can help you shift your focus away from negative thoughts and help you reach a more positive state of mind.

7. Exercise: Regular exercise has been shown to have positive effects on mental and emotional well-being, and can help you reach a peak state.

8. Getting enough sleep: Sleep is essential for physical and mental well-being and lack of sleep can negatively impact your ability to reach a peak state.

9. Practice self-compassion: Being kind and understanding to yourself, rather than self-critical, can help you reach a peak state.

Peak state models

There are several models and techniques that can help individuals get into a peak state and reach their full potential. Some popular ones include:

1. The Flow State: Developed by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the flow state is a psychological state in which an individual is fully immersed in an activity and experiences a sense of effortless concentration and enjoyment. To achieve flow, individuals need to set clear and challenging goals, have immediate feedback on their progress, and be completely absorbed in the task at hand.

2. The Peak Performance Pyramid: Developed by Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness, the peak performance pyramid is a framework for achieving optimal performance. It includes four elements: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. To reach peak performance, individuals need to focus on all four elements and find balance among them.

3. The Pomodoro Technique: Developed by Francesco Cirillo, the Pomodoro Technique is a time management method that involves breaking down work into 25-minute intervals (called "pomodoros") separated by short breaks. This technique helps individuals stay focused, avoid burnout and increase productivity.

4. The 4-7-8 Breathing Technique: Developed by Dr. Andrew Weil, the 4-7-8 breathing technique is a simple and effective way to reduce stress and anxiety. It involves inhaling for a count of 4, holding for a count of 7, and exhaling for a count of 8. This technique helps activate the body's relaxation response and can be done anywhere, at any time.

5. The SMARTER Goals: S.M.A.R.T.E.R. goals is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound, Evaluate and Re-evaluate. This method helps individuals to set clear, achievable and measurable goals, which is essential to reach their full potential.

6. The GROW Model: Developed by Sir John Whitmore, the GROW model is a goal-setting and problem-solving framework that helps individuals set clear, achievable and measurable goals. It stands for Goal, Reality, Options, and Will. This method helps individuals to identify and overcome the barriers that are preventing them from reaching their full potential.

7. The Mindfulness Practice: Mindfulness is the ability to be present and fully engaged in the current moment. It is a practice that helps individuals to develop self-awareness, focus and inner peace. Mindfulness is believed to enhance the ability to manage stress and emotions, improve relationships and decision-making and increase overall well-being.

8. The 80/20 Rule: Developed by Vilfredo Pareto, the 80/20 rule states that 80% of the outcomes come from 20% of the inputs. The rule helps individuals to focus on the most important tasks and prioritize their time and energy.

These are some of the most popular models and techniques that can help individuals get into a peak state and reach their full potential. However, it's important to note

Wisdom from an AI: It is not appropriate to refer to any person or group as an "enemy." Everyone has different perspectives and experiences, and it is important to treat all individuals with respect and empathy. It is more productive to focus on understanding and addressing conflicts or differences in a constructive and peaceful manner.

With that said:

Signs that you need to be honest with yourself

1. If something feels “off” in your life

2. You self-sabotage

3. You complain, but don’t take action

4. You don’t take criticism well

How to be honest with yourself

An important aspect of authenticity is being honest with yourself. We all tell ourselves stories that explain our emotions and actions, but it's important to take a step back and question whether these stories are true. Be aware of your own biases and assumptions, and be willing to challenge them.

To be authentic, it's also important to build connections with others. We naturally mirror those we feel a connection to, and by being prepared to match and mirror the people around us, we can quickly build rapport and leave a positive impression.

In short, being authentic requires understanding and adapting to cultural norms, being honest with yourself, and building connections with others. By understanding and respecting the nuances of different regions and cultures, and staying true to yourself, you'll be able to communicate effectively and build authentic relationships.

Once you’ve identified that you need to be honest with yourself, it’s time to take action. This won’t be pleasant – it might even be painful. But it will open up a new world of possibility and happiness.

1. Be vulnerable

There is nothing more courageous than allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

2. Reflect on your decisions

Taking time out each day to reflect can not only help you be honest with yourself, but can make you feel more fulfilled and grateful. Try writing in a journal at the end of each day, answering questions like, what did I do right today? What can I do better tomorrow? How did my actions help me reach my ultimate goals – or prevent me from reaching them? When you write down your thoughts, it’s much harder to lie to yourself.

3. Picture your future

4. Develop self-awareness

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mind-meaning/10-common-defense-mechanisms/

How to spot self-defeating habits that are holding you back

Defense mechanisms are unconscious mental processes that help individuals protect themselves from feelings of anxiety or guilt, or from experiencing negative emotions such as fear, anger, or shame. They are a normal part of human behavior and are often used to help people cope with stress, difficult situations, and traumatic experiences.

There are many different types of defense mechanisms, but some of the most common include:

1. Denial

Denial is one of the most common defense mechanisms. When a situation or fact becomes too much to handle, you may cope by refusing to experience it. By denying reality, you are essentially protecting yourself from having to face and deal with the unpleasant consequences and pain that accompany acceptance. If you tell yourself “I’m just a social drinker” instead of dealing with your serious drinking problem, or that “Every couple eventually loses the romance” instead of facing your failing marriage, you are utilizing denial as a defense mechanism. And while this may alleviate any short-term pain, in the long run, denial can prevent you from making positive changes in your life, and can have potentially destructive ramifications.

Denial defense mechanism examples

• A smoker denies that his habit has negative health consequences so he can continue smoking.

• A parent denies that her son has dropped out of college even though the school administrator has left her three voicemails telling her so.

• A business owner denies that her business is failing despite declining profits.

How to identify denial defense mechanisms

If there is overwhelming evidence to believe something and you still insist it’s not happening, you are likely utilizing denial as a defense mechanism. Signs of this are refusing to talk to someone about a possible issue, avoiding situations where you may have to face up to the truth and filling your time with busywork so you don’t have to think about a certain situation.

2. Repression

There is a fine line between denial and repression when it comes to defense mechanisms. But where denial involves the outright refusal to accept a given reality, repression involves completely forgetting the experience. With repression, your mind makes the decision to bury the memory in your subconscious, thereby preventing painful, disturbing or dangerous thoughts from entering your awareness. This is often the case with child abuse or other traumatic experiences that occurred early on in development. Repression may serve immediate purposes, particularly if you were tormented by a painful experience, but if you do not eventually process and deal with the experience, it can have severe consequences later on in life.

Repression defense mechanism examples:

• A soldier back from the Middle East represses a memory of killing a civilian. He has recurrent nightmares about the incident, but doesn’t consciously remember it.

• A young child forgets being bitten by a dog but develops a phobia of dogs as he gets older.

• An adult represses memories of an abusive childhood in order to maintain the illusion of a healthy, functional family. The family unit remains intact, but the individual suffers from depression without understanding why.

How to identify repression defense mechanisms

Depending on how deeply an experience has been buried in your subconscious, this one can be difficult to spot. However, there are some symptoms you need to pay attention to, such as angry outbursts that are not proportionate to the trigger, nightmares with repetitive themes and feelings of depression or anxiety that seem to come out of nowhere.

3. Displacement

Have you ever endured a stressful day at work, then come home and taken out your frustration on your loved ones? What about a time where you had an argument with your partner, then got in your car and found your patience waning with every driver on the road? If the answer is yes, you’re experiencing displacement – one of the typical defense mechanism examples in busy adults.

With displacement, you’re transferring your emotions from the person or situation that is the target of your frustration to someone or something else entirely. Subconsciously, you believe that to confront the source of your feelings may be too dangerous or risky, so you shift the focus toward a target or situation that is less intimidating or dangerous – for example, the hapless driver in the next lane over.

While displacement may protect you from losing your job or burning a bridge, it will not help you handle the emotions you are experiencing, and you will also end up hurting someone completely innocent. This becomes an even bigger issue when you routinely use defense mechanisms like displacement with your significant other as it violates the cardinal rules of love and will eventually ruin your connection. It’s better to face the issue head-on with the person you’re actually frustrated with.

Displacement defense mechanism examples

• A woman who is frustrated because her boss made her work late again comes home and yells at her son for asking what’s for dinner.

• A man who is mad that he can’t seem to get ahead at work constantly criticizes his wife for not making more money.

• An employer who is frustrated with his business’ losses blames his employees instead of rethinking his business strategy.

How to identify displacement defense mechanisms

If you’re blowing up at people who have done little or nothing to upset you, this is a classic sign you’re displacing your frustrations. You may even have a “favorite” person to take out your anger or frustration on because you view them as “safe” or unable to do anything about your irrational behavior. If you’ve been called a “hothead” or “bully,” you may be routinely displaying the displacement defense mechanism.

4. Projection

Projection is a common coping tool for avoiding unpleasant feelings. It’s one of the defense mechanisms that can crop up if you find yourself in a situation where you feel like a fish out of water. Perhaps you’re interacting with a group of strangers and haven’t been able to connect with anyone yet. You feel uncomfortable and a bit anxious. You start to see that others are staring at you with what you perceive as a critical, judgmental eye. They do not say anything or do anything that is objectively negative, but your insecurity causes you to “project” your feelings onto others. The feelings may even become so intense that you demand to know, “What are you staring at?”

Most of us have found ourselves in a situation in which we project our feelings, shortcomings or unacceptable impulses onto the people around us. The reason we do so is because to recognize that particular quality in ourselves would cause us pain and suffering. Instead of looking inward, we blame external events and people for how we’re feeling.

Like the other defense mechanisms, projection can sometimes be used in a positive way, such as when you project feelings of love, confidence and care onto others. But when it impacts us in a negative way, it only compounds the stress and anxiety and prevents us from dealing with the root of those emotions. The projection defense mechanism is one of the most damaging of the 10, as it can lead to heightened feelings of paranoia and anxiety. It can also contribute to limiting beliefs about others that cause you to become bitter, suspicious or antisocial.

Projection defense mechanism examples

• You really dislike your manager at work who treats you just like they treat everyone else. Instead of admitting your dislike, you tell everyone the manager has a grudge against you and is trying to sabotage your career.

• A woman is in a bad mood all day and comes home to her husband. After greeting her warmly and asking about her day, she instantly accuses him of being in a bad mood and ruining her evening.

• A father has body image issues but refuses to make lifestyle changes that would help him lose weight. Instead, he berates his daughter for her weight, projecting his lack of self-confidence onto her.

How to identify projection defense mechanisms

If you are constantly being told you act irrationally, you may be using projection as one of your defense mechanisms. Does your partner tell you, “It’s like you’re not even hearing what I’m saying”? Do those you get upset with seem confused by your reaction? Do you think that everyone is out to get you or that you are always being treated unfairly? If so, it’s time to look into the possibility that you are projecting your feelings onto others.

5. Reaction formation

With reaction formation defense mechanisms, you are going beyond denial and behaving in the opposite way of which you think or feel. Typically, reaction formation is marked by a blatant display. For example, the man who preaches his disdain for homosexuality may use it as a defense against confronting his own homosexual feelings. By casting stones at someone or something else, you are trying to take the pressure off yourself instead of directly dealing with the issue.

Reaction formation defense mechanism examples

• A woman dotes on her aging mother by cooking her meals, cleaning her home and taking her to appointments while she secretly despises her.

• A person with a drinking problem extols the virtues of sobriety instead of taking steps toward moderate drinking.

• An employer with deeply-held racist ideologies employs a company policy of affirmative action to hide his true beliefs.

How to recognize reaction formation defense mechanisms

An important part of defense mechanisms psychology is the fact that our defenses are often subconscious. You may not know you’re displaying reaction formation tendencies if you don’t look closely at your own emotions and how you really feel about certain people and situations. You may question your own behaviors – “Why do I keep doing favors for him when I think he’s a terrible person?” – or feel deep down that something doesn’t add up with how you feel and how you act.

6. Regression

In times of stress, you may find that your behavior becomes more childish. This is one of the defense mechanisms known as regression. Regression causes you to revert to a younger level of development and earlier, less demanding behaviors as a way of protecting yourself from confronting the actual situation. Imagine, for example, having an argument with your partner, and instead of using conflict resolution tools, you stomp off, slam the door and give your partner the cold shoulder.

According to defense mechanisms psychology, the problem with regression is that you may regret letting your childish behavior become self-destructive. This can lead to far more serious problems if you let it go unchecked. If you continually use regression instead of communication with your partner, you’ll never be able to achieve the healthy relationship you deserve.

Regression defense mechanism examples

• A ten-year-old is in the hospital to get his tonsils removed and begins sucking his thumb like he did when he was a toddler.

• A woman gets in an argument with someone at work and starts sobbing uncontrollably.

• Instead of utilizing mature parenting techniques like empathy and boundaries, a father resorts to temper tantrums to scare his children into obedience.

How to recognize regression defense mechanisms

Do you have emotional outbursts that involve crying, shouting or throwing tantrums? Are you accused of acting childishly? Do you get overwhelmed during a confrontation and feel yourself shut down? These are all signs you’re using regression as part of your defense mechanisms.

7. Rationalization

Rationalization is a common component of defense mechanisms psychology, since it’s an easy defense to rely on. In the plainest terms, rationalization occurs when you try to explain your bad behavior away. Imagine you have an irrationally angry reaction to a situation in front of an esteemed colleague who hopefully respects you. To try to justify your behavior, you blame someone else for provoking you. Even if that may be true, it is not the actual reason for your outburst – it’s an excuse. Although rationalization is a common ego defense mechanism, in most cases, this won’t actually help you pass the blame or justify your behavior. Instead, those around you will view you as childish or egotistical if you’re unable to own your mistakes.

Rationalization defense mechanism examples

• A man forgets to take out the garbage even though his wife has reminded him four times. Instead of apologizing, he rationalizes that she hasn’t loaded the dishwasher so it’s only fair that he not take out the garbage.

• A woman stands up her friend for lunch and tells herself it’s okay because her friend is always late for their morning yoga sessions.

• A student rationalizes cheating on a test by saying the test was too demanding anyway.

How to recognize rationalization defense mechanisms

Most of the time, you’ll have to rely on others to point out when you’re using rationalization as one of your defense mechanisms. Why? Because your rationalizations probably make all the sense in the world to you and it will take an outside point of view to open your eyes. If you feel like you’re always in the right and everyone else is in the wrong a good percentage of the time, it’s very likely you’re relying on rationalization.

8. Sublimation

Sublimation defense mechanisms occur when you transform your conflicted emotions, unmet desires or unacceptable impulses into productive outlets. It’s the situation where you have a stressful day at work, so you go on a long run to cool off. Or you have a fight with your partner, so you turn to writing music. When used to handle a situation you cannot effectively do anything about, sublimation is actually one of the positive defense mechanisms examples and can actually help you achieve goals. But when used routinely to avoid addressing an issue that must be resolved to move forward, it can have negative repercussions.

Sublimation defense mechanism examples

• A man has issues controlling his temper so he joins a rugby league so he can take out his aggression in a socially acceptable manner.

• A woman is frustrated that her daughter has once again neglected to call on her birthday and instead of calling her to voice her upset, she spends three hours scrubbing floors and windows.

• Instead of working to improve his overall health and fitness, a man lacking self-confidence pours all his energy into his career.

Recognizing sublimation defense mechanisms

Do you find yourself doing hard labor, intense exercise or long, exhausting work sessions when they don’t really need to be done? Can you connect those to thoughts of “blowing off steam” or fighting some other emotion? If so, you’re likely using sublimation. By recognizing that sublimation has become part of your unconscious defense mechanism definition, you’re able to take steps to address the behavior.

9. Dissociation

Dissociation is one of the most powerful defense mechanisms. Psychology surrounding dissociation centers on escapism – mentally separating yourself from your body (depersonalization) or environment (derealization) – to distance yourself from overwhelming experiences. Dissociation is common after trauma, since it provides a temporary escape. But when employed long-term, dissociation creates separation from your true self, rendering you impermeable to positive as well as negative experiences.

Dissociation defense mechanism examples

• A woman finds herself engaging in bulimic eating behaviors in a subconscious attempt to escape feelings of shame and self-loathing.

• A man who is unhappy in his career struggles to concentrate at work. His mind wanders frequently – an “easier” fix than doing the work necessary to create a rewarding career.

• A doctor’s parents pressured her into her profession, even though she dreamed of being an athlete. She dissociates by daydreaming about athleticism instead of acknowledging the career turmoil she is experiencing.

Recognizing dissociation defense mechanisms

You don’t have to have a clinical diagnosis to engage dissociation defense mechanisms, which range from mild to severe. On the lighter end of the spectrum, you may have difficulty staying mentally “present” or remaining grounded in your own body. On the heavier end, addictions of all kinds are severe dissociation defense mechanism examples.

10. Avoidance

Last on our list of defense mechanisms is one of the most common: avoidance. Psychology recognizes avoidance as a near-universal phenomena, since it’s human nature to steer clear of the uncomfortable. But when we avoid problems for too long, they only get worse. There are many conscious and subconscious ways to avoid an issue, including the following avoidance defense mechanism examples.

Avoidance defense mechanism examples

• An employee is unhappy at work so he procrastinates instead of getting started on a dreaded project he’s been assigned.

• A couple is having marital difficulties. Instead of addressing their relationship struggles, each person changes the subject of conversation every time it comes up.

• Two friends have been growing apart for years. Instead of accepting that their friendship is no longer fulfilling, one friend keeps up the illusion of friendship through repeated invitations to spend time together.

Recognizing avoidance defense mechanisms

Avoidance is one of the more easily identifiable defense mechanisms, since it’s often conscious and intentional. To recognize whether you’re avoiding an issue instead of confronting it, ask yourself: Does my own personal defense mechanism definition include avoidance? If your knee-jerk answer is “yes,” you must take steps to face your problems directly.

How defense mechanisms are holding you back

Even the healthy use of ego defense mechanisms and other types can keep you from attaining your goals and living the life of your dreams. Why? Because they are all about not facing up to what is really going on. To unlock an extraordinary life, you must be honest with yourself and take responsibility for your own emotions.

How to overcome defense mechanisms?

Now that you have a list of defense mechanisms you may be using, there’s no excuse to avoid confronting how you’re really feeling. While you can’t expect to completely remove defense mechanisms from your life, you can work through the most damaging ones so you can connect better with others and tend to your emotional well-being.

• Become more self-aware

Defense mechanisms are a way of avoiding your true feelings. They tend to crop up as a way to protect ourselves when we feel vulnerable. The first step to overcoming them is accepting that you’re using them in the first place. Once you’re able to recognize when you’re using them, you can dig deeper to identify your emotions. Allow your feelings to communicate with you. Let them say what they need to say. Then act to change your situation, instead of burying how you feel. Once you identify how you’re coping with stress or negative situations, you can more easily change your state. Over time, you’ll be able to handle your problems more directly, which will help lead you to feeling more fulfilled overall.

• Take responsibility

Defense mechanisms are often a way of placing the blame on something outside of ourselves. We believe that things are being done to us, rather than taking responsibility for our own part in our circumstances. The truth is that, as Tony says, “Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity and responsibility to give something back by becoming more. Whatever happens, take responsibility.” To become more, you must accept that you cannot control the way others act. You can control the way that you react. You can control your own emotions. This is the difference between those who let life happen to them, and those who make life happen.

• Break the patterns

Humans are creatures of habit. We all get stuck in patterns, and they often don’t serve us. Once you learn to take responsibility for your own emotions, you’re ready to break those patterns and stop using defense mechanisms. Strategies like mindfulness and practicing gratitude can help you shift your mindset and see the world in a more positive way. Journaling allows you to work through your feelings and begin to see the patterns that hold you back. A professional coach can act as a sounding board and hold you accountable when you’re making unhealthy choices. There are many tools available. It’s all about finding the toolkit that’s right for you.

Everyone deals with defense mechanisms – it’s only natural. But when you rely too heavily on these defense mechanisms and make excuses when you could be making progress, it’s time to analyze your behavior and change your ways.

Working past your defense mechanisms takes effort, but it’s well worth it. Discover the driving force behind your reactions with our quick assessment.

What’s your driving force?

https://core.tonyrobbins.com/driving-force-6/

Most of us go through life running on autopilot. We make it through the day – and we don’t wonder why our day went the way it did. We don’t examine how we felt or the actions we took. We don’t practice self-awareness.

You’re not most people though. You want to wake up to your life. You want to see everything with clarity and focus. You may not know it, but that’s the definition of self-awareness.

Self-awareness allows you to improve every area of your life by taking responsibility for your emotions, thoughts and actions. It can increase confidence, creativity and decision-making skills. It can improve your relationships and your career.

But what is self-awareness really? It isn’t a personality trait or a magical spell. It’s something you can develop with the right tools and a powerful desire.

What is self-awareness?

The basic self-awareness definition is the ability to see and evaluate yourself consciously and objectively. It means understanding that no matter your circumstances, you are the one constant in your own life – and you have the power to control it.

There are a few factors to consider when we ask ourselves, “What is self-awareness?” One important part of the self-awareness definition is whether it is internal or external. Internal self-awareness means knowing your own strengths and weaknesses, controlling your emotions and discovering what you value in life – and realizing how it all relates to your own actions.

No one goes through life seeing themselves exactly how others see them. We often have misperceptions of how we affect others. External self-awareness is the ability to understand how others view you and to adjust your actions so that you’re able to have the impact you desire.

To define self-awareness, we must also take into account that there are several different levels. Some people have no self-awareness at all, while others are extremely self-aware. Most of us fall somewhere in between. Many of us believe that we’re more self-aware than we really are. The truth is that without doing the work – actively practicing self-reflection and mindfulness – most of us never reach peak self-awareness.

Top traits of people with self-awareness

To define self-awareness, it’s helpful to look at examples: What does it look like in action? Highly self-aware people demonstrate many of the same traits.

• Humility. Self-awareness means knowing what you don’t know. Self-aware people realize that just as they have strengths, they have weaknesses.

• Forgiveness. Humility helps self-aware people forgive others, because they realize that just as they don’t know everything, neither does anyone else.

• Growth mindset. Self-aware people want to improve on their weaknesses and use their strengths for good. This growth mindset means they seek to improve themselves and the world.

• Emotional mastery. Self-aareness is not just the ability to be aware of your emotions – it’s being able to control them. Emotional mastery is what allows you to grow.

• Confidence. Self-awareness is ultimately about being the best you can be by uncovering your strengths and using them for good. That’s an amazing way to boost confidence.

• Clarity. Once you gain self-awareness, you’ll also gain the ability to see the bigger picture. You’ll realize where you fit in the puzzle of life, and start to see every problem as a gift.

How to develop self-awareness

A self-awareness definition is of no use if we don’t put it into action. Becoming self-aware is a process of monitoring and understanding our emotions, thoughts and actions. It requires time, attention and focus – but being able to live in a beautiful state is worth the effort. Focus on your best self

1. Understand the six human needs

All of our decisions are based on six human needs: certainty, variety, significance, connection, growth and contribution. We all place different levels of importance on each need. Understanding your top need is fundamental to your self-awareness.

2. Uncover your limiting beliefs

The meaning we give to each of the six human needs comes from our past experiences. Our experiences also leave us with limiting beliefs that affect the way we see ourselves and others. Deconstructing these beliefs is essential to finding self-awareness.

3. Reflect on your emotions

Our human needs and limiting beliefs affect our emotions, which affect our thoughts. Our thoughts affect our actions. Burying your emotions rarely serves you. Allowing yourself to feel your emotions, without judgment, is the very definition of self-awareness.

4. Take a walk

You can’t reflect on yourself when you’re marathoning Netflix or creating the perfect Instagram post. You need to allow time to quietly be with yourself. One way to eliminate distractions is to take a walk. Walking in nature is proven to reduce anxiety and encourage reflection.

5. Write in a journal

Another way to improve self-awareness through reflection is writing in a journal. Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Once you’ve identified those, you can use your journal to set intentions to build upon your strengths and improve your weaknesses.

6. Meditate

Mindfulness practices like meditation, priming and yoga can help you be more present and give you time to reflect. Before you begin, set an intention for what you’d like to think about or discover about yourself. There are always new things to learn.

7. Ask for constructive feedback

To define self-awareness from an external perspective, you’ll need other opinions. Ask trusted friends, family and colleagues how you appear to them. Examine how this constructive criticism makes you feel. If you get a feeling that it “hits close to home,” you’re improving your self-awareness.

8. Feed your mind

Purposely seek out information and perspectives that are different than yours through books, articles and in person. Feeding your mind allows you to compare your own thoughts and feelings to someone else’s, get at the root of your own beliefs and better define self-awareness.

9. Take a test

Personality tests like the DISC Assessment can help you become more self-aware. Do the results contradict with how you view yourself or would you say they’re accurate? Whether you agree or disagree with the results, you’ll get insight into your personality and values.

10. Make it a habit

Many people only begin looking for the answer to the question “What is self-awareness?” when things go wrong or we encounter challenges. But the truth is that self-awareness is a habit, not a one-time goal. We are growing and changing every day, and our self-awareness must change as well.

Hunger will destroy your fear of failure

Fun read - speech Tony Robbins to 22-year olds.

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/career-business/hunger-will-destroy-your-fear-of-failure/

If not, you’ll get comfortable. And life gives us two choices — you either grow, or you die. You climb, or you slide. So sometimes hunger waits to appear until your back is against the wall, when you’re at the very bottom of the well, looking up.

If you’ve got a plan to fall back on, it just means there’s more room to fall.

And that’s the reason why a lot of people have trouble sustaining their passions. They take one step forward and two steps back, until they fall flat and start all over again on something else altogether. They live in a world of stutter-steps and false starts. That’s what passion without hunger will do to you and it means only one thing – you aren’t making the jump, you’re not committing, you’re holding back because you’re afraid to fail and you’ve got a crash pad to fall back on.

When there’s a safety net beneath you – your parents, relatives, a girlfriend or boyfriend, a comfortable hometown, a decent job – there’s tremendous comfort and certainty there. But what looks like an asset can actually lock you up and paralyze you with debilitating inertia. I mean, right now the largest percentage in history – 15% – of people between the age of 25 and 34 live at home with their parents. And that’s not a judgment from me, there is nothing wrong with living at home, but when your mom is stocking the fridge there is no way you’re ever going to get hungry.

There is nothing like necessity to get you through a challenge. But nothing is really necessary until you are chasing your passion. Passion is the only true exigency of action.

So let me ask you something:

What is your passion? What are you really here for?

To be clear, I’m not asking you what you want to be. I’m asking what do you want to create? What are you here to give? What is your gift? What is the one thing you want to do better than anyone else on this planet? What is the one thing you could do every single day and not get sick of? What will you share with the world?

That is your passion. Finding your true passion

The fastest way to find your true passion is to commit to something you have an interest in. Really immerse yourself in the environment, don’t just dabble. Volunteer with your whole heart. Do your homework and model the people who have done it best. Follow them around. Commit every cell in your body to learning and living that life and feel where that focus takes you.

If that doesn’t work, there’s another way…

If you can’t find your career from heaven, just describe your job from hell.

Often times, when I ask people to describe what they would NOT want to do for a living — the kind of people they don’t want to work with, the office they’d hate to be penned up in, the conditions that would make them crazy — that’s when they’re able to paint a very colorful portrait.

It’s surprising to see how much energy can be generated in a person from anger. So, go crazy for five minutes, get it all out and when you’re in that passionate state, that’s when I’d ask you to describe the opposite of everything you just rattled off. And then you’ll have your job from heaven. What does that look like? How does it feel?

That simple technique is sometimes all it takes to trigger the clues you need when you’re feeling blocked.

So once you’ve zeroed in on your passion and you’re hungry to chase it down, what’s next? You must serve something greater than yourself.

The question is never, “What are you going to get?” You got it?

You can get anything you want, but the only way to greatness is to find a way to serve others.

There’s a Bible verse that says, whoever among you wishes to become great, must become a servant of many. That means, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a great, successful leader, but the only way to do that is to become a servant.

Several people who have succeeded on the highest scale interestingly enough didn’t wait until they finished college to start serving others.

They couldn’t wait.

Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Oprah, Ellen, Walt Disney, Ralph Lauren, Wolfgang Puck, John Lennon, Lady Gaga, Abe Lincoln — they didn’t drop out of school because they were lazy. They had already found their passion and they were ready to begin serving others.

They had such hunger they physically could not wait.

There is nothing quite as effective as a sense of urgency to transform the quality of a human being’s life.

The good news is, you are coming of age in an era of accelerated ideation and fast and furious innovation the likes of which the world has never seen.

The bad news is — you should’ve started five years ago!

Can you feel the pressure? Good. Internal pressure is not a bad thing. If you feel nothing but a little fire inside right now, you’ll be no worse for wear. When I speak with great thought leaders and cultural influencers, they all seem to describe this common “feeling” inside of them. It’s a feeling of responsibility, like they must deliver something; a sense of purpose they’re here to serve. It’s not about what life is going to give to them, it’s about what they must bring to bear.

If you’ve been waiting to turn your tassel to the other side of your cap before you start the process of defining what you really want, it’s time to throw a match in your gas tank. You and I are living in a world where people can compete from anywhere on earth and there’s no age requirement to add value to the marketplace. I’ll guarantee you there’s a hungry 17-year-old on a crowdsourced/gig site who is already doing a job that many 22-year-olds are hoping their entry-level résumé just might qualify them for… an interview.

I’m not diminishing the merits of higher education whatsoever; I just want to make something crystal clear. We hear people say all the time that “knowledge is power.” That’s not true. Knowledge is NOT power. Knowledge of concepts is only of POTENTIAL value to you. The execution of the knowledge you’ve gleaned is where your power lies.

So I challenge you to act on what you’ve just learned in college. Don’t let the learning stop. Not now; not ever.

The key distinction that will set you apart from the field is a commitment to mastery.

To truly master a field of study, you’ve got to go deep. These days, most people stay in the shallow end. Everyone seems to know a little about a lot. They dabble. They’ve got all kinds of pins and badges and likes and dislikes. They have hundreds of friends and thousands of followers. They’re comfortable with a level of communication that fits on the screen of cell phone.

Listen to me: That’s not good enough.

When you decide to become a master in the subject area that you are passionate about you’ve got to take massive action. You must be committed to learn everything humanly possible about that subject matter. You need to know it wider and better than anyone else, and most importantly, you have to use that knowledge to serve something greater than yourself.

Motive does matter.

So what’s the hack? Here it is in one word:

Results.

We live in a world where there are no limits for those who can create results. The faster you can use what you’ve learned to execute results, the sooner your GPA — no matter how impressive or abysmal — won’t matter.

There is no replacement for results.

Your ability to deliver useful results to people better than anybody else will determine your success. Meet people’s needs. Add value to their lives through music, or food, finance, literature, art, business — it doesn’t matter what marketplace you enter, you will get paid for results.

Sure, you might get lucky; maybe somebody will cut you a check just because you’ve positioned yourself well, but you won’t be able to sustain long-term success that way.

Delivering results is what changed my life.

When I was 17, and just starting out, I had nothing — I had a desk I made by taking a door off its hinges and flipping it around in a crappy little room in Azusa, California. I took out a telephone and I vowed to make 100 calls a day to people I wanted to do business with. There were no excuses. I tracked my progress. I had nothing if not hunger, and I figured that as long as I stayed connected to my passion and felt that higher sense of purpose I’d get through to somebody.

It was a disaster at first. But I stayed committed to mastery.

People ask, “How long does it take to get good at something?” And my answer is always, “How long do you want it to take?”

I read almost 700 books on human development, psychology, physiology. I wanted to know everything that could possibly change the quality of someone’s life.

I was obsessed.

I myself was trying to make changes in my body, grow my mind, condition my emotions, and elevate my spirit. I started out helping myself, and then my friends, and the more results I produced the more my impact began to expand. All the while I didn’t charge anybody for anything – not one penny – unless I produced results for them.

Before I had a reputation, my only leg to stand on was results. Results built my brand.

As time went on, I found other sectors that I could learn about and serve. I realized that I wanted to do this full-time as my career. But, the only catch was, there was no such career path.

I didn’t know what I was going to do with my passion. I thought, I could write a book — but not many 17-year-olds are on the New York Times bestseller list. I could become a motivational speaker but I hated that idea right off the bat. I was never about pump-up, I was always about strategies. All these years some people that have never met me still think I’m about motivation because I also know how to generate energy and ignite passion — but that’s never been the focus.

Energy is just a bi-product of the right strategy.

For me, my passion is finding the strategy that’s going to get someone who wants to change from where they are now to where they want to be in the shortest period of time.

But the thing is, when I was 22, there was no pathway to that profession. That profession did not exist. There were no search results returned on LinkedIn’s job board for the terms, “Now Hiring: Entry Level Peak Performance Strategist. Competitive base salary, plus commission.”

But here I am. And don’t worry, you don’t have to have big teeth and banana hands to carve your own path. You’ve just got to be able to obsessively articulate exactly what it is you want.

When you know your passion and you’re unwilling to live by somebody else’s rules, you can make your own way.

And don’t misunderstand, this is not about breaking rules, this is about producing results.

Ignore the job description and produce results for somebody, I promise you, you won’t be ignored. People will change the rules for you if you can produce outstanding results.

When I first began to work with people, there was no such thing as life coaching. That was a phrase I coined myself. The only way you could come by this work professionally was as a therapist. You had to go to school, get a traditional degree, take the conventional approach of looking at someone’s problems (which at the time meant therapy once, twice, three, times a week for years, sometimes decades) and that method was something that did not interest me in the slightest. I wanted to help lots of people, different people, business people, athletes, investors, politicians, entrepreneurs, parents, artists, and kids. Not a couple hundred patients a month in an office, but millions of people all over the world.

And I became obsessed with this idea.

Often times, the standard way of doing things is not the only way of doing things, it’s just what people have gotten used to. If you come up with a different way to get people the results they’re looking for, you can do anything you want.

So if you’re 22 years old and reading this today, I know that you’re not satisfied with what you’ve accomplished already. You want to do more, be more, give more. You are in the prime of your youth, don’t wait for a time down the road, a birthday with a zero on it, to look back and realize that you’ve got to do something with yourself.

Commit to turning your Shoulds into Musts right now.

You do anything you want with your life whether or not the avenue exists. Clear the path, pave the road, step up and make it happen.

Discover your passion. Get hungry. Design the life you want to live. With massive action, flexibility, obsessive discipline, and a sense of purpose to serve something outside of yourself, you will develop the ability to consistently produce results, and you will effectively create your own path to greatness.

Finally, when you fall upon frustrating times – and you will – remember the words my mentor told me years ago when I was at my lowest place. He said, “Tony, keep working on yourself, keep improving, strengthening, and keep finding a way to serve more people. If you do that, I promise you — your gifts will make room for you.”

I wish for you an extraordinary life.

Tony

Discover how to live in a state of gratitude and abundance today

Have you ever been to a nice restaurant, had a delicious dinner in a beautiful environment with great service, then received a bill that nearly made you fall out of your seat? How did that change your mood? Did you walk out of the restaurant raving about the experience or lamenting over the bill?

Instead of practicing an abundance mindset, why do we tend to focus on the negative aspects of a situation or experience? Why, in the case of the restaurant, was it easier to hone in on how steep the bill was rather than immerse ourselves in the outstanding food, lovely ambiance or the hospitable service? Because, instead of focusing on gratitude and abundance, the human brain is wired for a single purpose – survival.

The mind is not designed to make you happy, it’s designed to help you survive. It is always looking for what could hurt you, and it magnifies the bad. We are wired to operate out of a place of scarcity and fear. But here’s the thing – you have the choice of what to focus on. You can learn how to develop an abundance mindset. Remember, what’s wrong is always available, but so is what’s right. What is an abundance mindset?

An abundance mindset is the belief that there are enough resources in the world for everyone – and of being grateful for whatever the universe provides. It’s often talked about in contrast with a scarcity mindset, or the belief that the world’s resources are finite – when someone gets something, that leaves less for everyone else.

These two different ways of thinking can shift our entire perspective. People with a scarcity mindset focus on unfulfilled needs: what others have that they don’t. They tend to think short-term and have less fulfilling relationships. People with an abundance mindset focus on what they already have and make peace with the present moment. Because they’re not living in a state of fear, they experience the many benefits of gratitude and can make better decisions and plan for the future. Or as Tony says, “When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.”  Signs you have an abundance mindset

Many people go through life without thinking about their mindset. You may be held back by negativity without even realizing it. If you recognize these signs, you may already be on your way toward an attitude of gratitude and abundance.

You celebrate others’ success. An abundance mindset is the opposite of jealousy and fear. You believe that others’ successes don’t detract from your own and that you will be just as successful. You genuinely celebrate the success of others who achieve their goals. You give back. People in a scarcity mindset are too busy taking to give back. If you volunteer your time, energy or skills, often give away your possessions or enjoy taking care of your loved ones, you’re on your way to having an abundance mindset. You live in the present. When you focus on gratitude and abundance, you’re not worried about the future or stuck in the past. You know that the only thing that’s guaranteed is the present, and you focus on taking it all in.

How to develop an abundance mindset

It’s natural for many people to operate in a scarcity mindset, especially in the corporate world and other competitive environments. But when you learn how to develop an abundance mindset, you’ll open opportunities you never thought possible. Examine your limiting beliefs

Limiting beliefs are unconscious beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world which we allow to prevent us from enjoying our lives to the fullest. For example, if you have an unconscious belief that you do not deserve happiness, understanding how to express gratitude will not come easily, even under the best of circumstances.

As you embrace the process of cultivating gratitude in your life, keep watch for the limiting beliefs you unconsciously hold and examine how they are preventing you from reaching your full potential. Beginning the hard work of replacing your limiting beliefs with an abundance mindset will reveal how your beliefs impact almost every area of life. This is because our beliefs grow from a combination of life experiences: our knowledge base, our environment (past and present), positive and traumatic life events, results of our past actions and how we envision our future. Adopt more empowering beliefs

Because our beliefs are multi-faceted, unravelling their origin can be a challenge. Replacing them with healthier beliefs can be even more difficult. However, if existing beliefs are an impediment to the attitude of gratitude you’re committed to developing, it’ll be well worth your time to put in the effort.

To overcome your self-sabotaging beliefs, put yourself in a positive mindset by making a list of things you’re thankful for. Then practice flipping your limiting beliefs to empowering ones. As you uncover each limiting belief, ask yourself: Does this belief take me further along the pursuit of gratitude, or does this belief hold me back? With practice and diligence, you’ll find that adopting an abundance mindset and attitude of gratitude becomes more natural.

Embrace change

Life will never go as planned. There will always be undesirable surprises. Change is inevitable, and we must learn to embrace change. The potential for transformation is present in every change life throws our way, whether or not we choose to embrace it.

Rather than be derailed by unexpected changes in our lives, we must learn to approach change with curiosity. Begin practicing an attitude of gratitude by “softening” to change, letting it in without a fight. Rather than telling yourself that you have either lost something, have less of something or will never have what it is you want, make the command decision to focus on adopting an abundance mindset and focusing on what you can be grateful for. By learning how to express gratitude under difficult circumstances, you build an abundance mindset into everything you do.

So what is an abundance mindset, after all? It doesn’t mean you are repressing your emotions or living in a state of denial. It means you are making the overarching decision to live in a beautiful state every single day, no matter what happens. Because if the only time you are happy is when things are going your way, you’re not going to be happy very often. And the more you start to make these subtle shifts, the more you can cultivate an abundance mindset, the more you will begin to experience joy – and, eventually, create a new emotional home.

How to benefit from positive thinking

Positive thinking is everywhere: Manifestation, vision boards and phrases like “No bad days” abound, and it seems that everyone on the planet wants to learn how to think positive. But what does it really mean to think positive? And can positive thinking alone help you realize your dreams?

It is true that your thoughts affect your actions. Your actions, in turn, translate into whether or not you succeed – in your career, relationships and life. Your thoughts also play a part in your values and beliefs, which influence the quality of your personal relationships and how you view the world at large.

It’s essential that we don’t get caught up in only thinking positively. You can sit in the garden of your mind telling yourself there are no weeds, but to build a truly fulfilling life, you need to stop covering up the weeds with positive thinking – and pick them instead. You need to get to the root of what’s holding you back and cultivate an overall positive mindset that doesn’t ignore negative emotions, but knows how to control them.

What is positive thinking?

Positive thinking is an emotional and mental attitude that focuses on the good and expects results that will benefit you. It’s about anticipating happiness, health and success instead of expecting the worst. Leveraging the law of attraction, this mindset creates a positive feedback loop that brings even more good into your life.

So what is positive thinking not? It is not a cure-all that will automatically make you happier and more fulfilled. It isn’t a solution to deep-seated limiting beliefs like fear of failure and fear of success. And it doesn’t mean sitting around all day telling yourself you’re happy. To achieve your dreams, you’ll need more than a positive mindset. You’ll need to act.

Don’t just think positive – overcome your limiting beliefs and transform your entire mindset.

How to benefit from positive thinking

Ultimately, building a fulfilling life is about mastering your emotions, both positive and negative. Positive thinking is one tool in your toolkit, but there are others you’ll need. Here are six ways to fully embrace not only the power of positive thinking but also the incredible power of your mindset.

1. Empower yourself

You didn’t get the promotion you worked so hard for. You’ve been let go from your job. Your partner broke up with you. You have chronic health issues that hold you back. These are all difficult situations that many of us will face at some point in our lives. The real question is: How will you react to them?

Do you blame others when bad things happen to you? Or do you look to yourself for the solution? When you take responsibility for how you think, act and feel, you have an internal locus of control – and that’s a key trait of successful people. This type of thinking lends you a deep belief in yourself and a positive mindset that allows you to get up and start over after a failure. From there, everything else in your life can fall into place.

Remember: The only thing in life you can control is yourself. You can’t control every event – but you can control how you react to them. Once you empower yourself to change what’s in your control – you – only then are you ready for the power of positive thinking.

2. Take control of your state

Have you noticed that when you’re having a bad day, your body language shows it? You slump over in your chair, you have a hard time making eye contact with others and do things like cross your arms when you’re feeling uncomfortable. You stop being mindful and allow your environment and circumstances to control you. This is not a powerful stance. Your body tells those around you that you are uneasy, angry or sad and want to be left alone. This creates a feedback loop as your poor posture reinforces your poor mindset.

Positive thinking is as much about your body as it is about your brain. Take control of your physiology by taking pride in how you present yourself. Work on your posture to give those around you nonverbal cues that you are feeling strong and positive, and are ready to listen to them. Stop nervous habits like fidgeting or twirling your hair. This technique requires you to observe yourself; as soon as you catch yourself giving in to a nervous tic or starting to slump, straighten up. As you hold your body in a power pose, a more positive mindset will naturally follow.

Those around you will pick up on the physiological signals you’re sending and will respond with positivity. The more you portray positivity and others see you this way, the easier positive thinking becomes, creating a new feedback loop. You will then be able to focus on others and do things such as asking three vital questions to find out how you can give to the world and others.

3. Adjust your mindset

Adjusting your physiology is only one part of the puzzle; it’s critical to catch the other negativity trigger in its opening stages as well. Your mindset governs what thoughts flow through your head and how you feel and react to each one. If your mindset is poor, everything around you is going to seem all the worse.

For example, you’re at the airport and are unnecessarily delayed while going through security. Then the airline attendant checking you in is rude to you. Another airline worker overhears, apologizes and bumps your ticket up to business class.

Once you’re in the air, are you fixated on the hassles you faced in the airport, or are you grateful for your spacious seat and free cocktail? Do you think of the delay as wasted time or as a way to take time and reconnect with yourself? Do you automatically revert to the power of positive thinking or do negative thoughts take over?

You can choose to focus on the negatives or the positives of this – and any – scenario, but if you choose to focus on what’s bothering you, it will begin to negatively impact your life. You’ll also attract more negative situations – people won’t be friendly to you when you’re scowling and hostile. You may punish your partner or others for not living up to your expectations, eroding your relationships and adding to more bitterness. You’ll forget that you can empower yourself to tackle any situation and start believing that a positive mindset is out of your reach.

Positive thinking bypasses that rage and inconvenience, allowing you to enjoy the moment and be fully present. By consciously choosing to focus on positive moments in your life, you’ll begin to reframe your thoughts, cultivating an abundance mindset that is grateful and open rather than negative and closed off.

4. Study your habits and form new ones

You can’t form new habits and harness the power of positive thinking if you’re unaware of your current ones. Are there things that set you into a negative spiral of self-doubt? Do you react to situations openly or do you utilize defense mechanisms? If so, what are they?

Perhaps you become agitated whenever you start thinking about going after a promotion at work. Your thoughts take you to a dark place and positive thinking goes out the window. You calculate how long you’ve been with the company and start thinking about why you haven’t been promoted already. Do your bosses know something you don’t? Maybe they don’t think you’re capable of doing the job. You begin to question your skill set, and then you wonder if you’ll ever move up in your field. Maybe you’ll just quit.

Think of all the time you’re wasting by falling back on this negative habit. Self-doubt is almost always rooted in fear – often the fear of failure. Doing something and failing seems like it would be unbearable, so your mind comes up with all sorts of reasons as to why you won’t even make an effort. If you give in to these negative thoughts, you might not fail but you will stagnate, which is worse. As Tony says, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.” If you fail, at least you can learn something. If you stagnate, you won’t.

What if, instead of getting swept up in a pattern of negative thoughts, you refocused your energy and developed empowering habits that use positive thinking? Stop the spiral of doubt by blocking it with positive thoughts. If you’re able to cut off a negative thought pattern before it gets out of hand, you can shift to recalling positive affirmations instead.

By training your mind to block negative thoughts with positive thinking, you’re steadily training yourself to stop thinking in a negative way. Fear won’t rule you anymore. That’s the power of positive thinking.

5. Choose your words carefully

One habit that is essential to positive thinking is to transform your vocabulary. The words you choose – both in conversation and in your own mind – have a deep impact on your mindset. Studies have found that positive self-talk improves psychological states, helps people regulate their emotions and more. Your conversation affects how others respond to you, again creating a feedback loop that can be either positive or negative.

Before you can choose different words, you need to recognize what words you’re already using. Take note of how you label and describe things in conversation, particularly your own emotions. Are you really “terrified” of that big work presentation or just a little nervous? Are you truly “angry” at your partner or mildly annoyed at one of their bad habits? When you dial back your vocabulary and use words that are less emotionally loaded, you’ll find your mindset becomes attuned to more positive thinking.

Many people find it helpful to write down negative words they find themselves using throughout the day. For every negative word, write a positive alternative next to it. Keep the alternatives in the back of your mind to use next time. Find this aspect of positive thinking overwhelming? Start with just one area of your life that causes negative thoughts, like work or your relationship status. Catch yourself in those moments, and build from there.

6. Identify those you admire

Think of someone who’s had a profound impact on your life. It can be a close friend, family member or someone you’ve never met, like a celebrity, professional athlete or renowned entrepreneur. What mottos does that person live by? Have they been able to unlock extraordinary lives due to their positive thinking habits?

Chances are, they use the power of positive thinking to find the success they seek – and you can, too. When you feel yourself falling into negative habits and can’t quite seem to figure out how to think positive, pull up a quotation from someone you respect. Read it and determine how you can best embody it. You can even write it down and post it somewhere you’ll see it often, such as the refrigerator or on the side of your computer screen.

The person you admire doesn’t have to be famous. The story of Jay and Fariha is a real-life example of how positive thinking can be contagious to our friends and loved ones. One of the first things Fariha noticed about Jay was his positivity – the “kick in his step.” Jay was cultivating positive emotions on a daily basis thanks to Tony’s philosophies. He shared those philosophies with Fariha and both attended Unleash the Power Within, where Fariha learned vital strategies she could use to change her mindset and start living the life of her dreams.

If you have someone you think of as a mentor, even better. Get on the phone and ask them to share some positive thoughts. Tony often quotes his own mentor, Jim Rohn, when he says, “Every day, stand guard at the door of your mind, and you alone decide what thoughts and beliefs you let into your life.” Will you give in to the temptation to think negatively and stagnate – and then blame others when you don’t reach your goals? Or will you guard your mind and only allow in positive thinking that propels you toward the life you dream of? It’s up to you.

Positive thinking FAQs Can positive thinking change your life?

Yes, positive thinking can change your life. Studies have found that positive thinking helps you live longer, reduces loneliness and more. But the most life-changing effect of positive thinking has to do with the law of attraction. This is the idea that what you focus on, you attract. As Tony says, “Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life.” When you focus on the negative, you’ll experience more negatives. But when you focus on the positive, the whole world opens up to you.

How do you train your mind to think positive?

The first step to training your mind for positive thinking is to identify your bad habits and negative thought patterns. Once you’ve recognized these, you can replace them with positive habits and words that aren’t as emotionally charged. If you find yourself spiraling into a thought pattern of worry and anxiety, ask yourself: What is this emotion really telling me? What am I really afraid of? Then make an action plan to overcome that fear.

How do you keep your mind positive?

Keeping your mind positive is a series of actions you take every day. It doesn’t always come easily, but experiencing the power of positive thinking in your life is worth it. One significant habit is to start your day with priming, meditation or affirmations. Your morning ritual sets the tone for your day and puts you in the right mindset to take on all your tasks with positivity.

1. You really don’t want to be famous. Read the biography of any famous person.

2. It is all about pattern recognition. Learn the ability to identify patterns, learn how they interact. Learn how to think. Become more conscious of patterns and chose how to interact with them.

3. How great are you when no one is watching? Align with who you are! Life wants you to win. Close your integrity gap by being authentic: success comes from being true to yourself. Integrity is all, be honest!

4. The way of complementary opposites. Not 0 or 1, but both 0 and 1 and all in between (probability). Learn how to navigate complexity.

5. Eliminating clutter makes room for your true treasures. Simplify.

6. Experience is overrated. When hiring, hire for aptitude, and train for skills. Most amazing things are done by people doing them for the first time.

7. Stay on purpose, not on rewards. Example of the student and martial artist: if I train, when master? 10 years? What, so long? What if I train twice as hard? 20 years? What? How is that possible? Master: with one eye on the rewards, you only have one eye on your purpose.

8. Identify yourself with your mantras, not materials.

Minimize limiting beliefs: find them (listen carefully, “I cn’t, I’m not, I don’t & find their origin and name them), get to the facts, and create new beliefs. You can learn to be, do, have and share with no constraints. I wrote this book to prove this to you. If you are not learning or living at your full potential, if there is a gap between your current reality and your desired reality, here’s the reason: There is a limit that must be released and replaced in one of three areas:

• A limit in your Mindset – you entertain a low belief in yourself, your capabilities, what you deserve, or what is possible. Mindset (the WHAT): deeply held beliefs, attitudes, and assumptions we create about who we are, how the world works, what we are capable of and deserve, and what is possible.

• A limit in your Motivation – you lack the drive, purpose, or energy to take action. Motivation (the WHY): the purpose one has for taking action. The energy required for someone to behave in a particular way.

• A limit in your Methods – you were taught and are acting on a process that is not effective to create the results you desire. Method (the HOW): a specific process for accomplishing something, especially in an orderly, logical, or systemic way of instruction.

Reframing limiting beliefs

They are all in your head, the tiny whispers. Pay good attention, in order to move from thermostat to thermometer, from passive to proactive.

1. Key 1: name your limiting beliefs. Search them everywhere, for example in my talents, character, relationships, education, or anything else that leads to internal whispers that you can’t be what you want to be. Write them down, even if you think that particular thing might not be consequential in your life. Focus on the “Ik kan niet, ik ben geen, ik hou niet van, ik doe geen, “ Probeer de origine te achterhalen van dit soort self-talk. Vaak zijn de limiting beliefs al gestart in je jeugd. Liberating (!!) These aren’t facts about me, these are opinions! There is a very good chance those opinions are wrong. When you have found your limiting beliefs, start talking back to them with positivism. Ook al kon je dat in het verleden misschien niet zo goed, dat betekent niet dat je er niet goed in kan worden of dat je dit misschien al bent. LIFE HAS NO LIMITATIONS, EXCEPT THE ONES YOU MAKE

2. Key 2: get to the facts. Limited Idea Entertained = LIE. Zeer waarschijnlijk zijn je limiting beliefs niet juist. Ze blijven zo goed beklijven omdat ze gelinkt zijn aan je emoties. Face down and quiet your beliefs. The better you are at this, the better you’ll be at keeping down distractions during your biggest growth challenges. Visualise that I’m an open and empty vessel, ready to be filled with value. Just as I was a child. Je goede beliefs systems, je goede BS, zijn wel juist: die heb je namelijk continue geoefend en gebattletest. Kunnen zeker beter (!). Befriend my 7-tailed fox, it is a magnificent beast and very powerful ally. Fear is like encountering a tiger, you initially whish to run. THE TIGER IS ONLY IN YOUR HEAD, befriend the tiger: befriend the seven-nine tailed fox.

3. Key 3: create a new belief. If you analyzed the BS, like heey this tiger is not so bad, you can determine your next steps and plan them in your agenda to practice or create alternative standard responses / actions. Although you might have flawed in the past, these newly learned skills will be added and you can keep increasing, learning and become better. It is not a tiger, it is a 7-9 tailed fox.

Environment Free yourself from the story that you are a product of your environment. Malala, Oprah, and Nelson Mandela decided that their environments did not dictate who they were or what they would believe. While circumstances may be difficult at times, each of you has the power to choose what you believe in order to become the “captain of your soul.”

Events The day you got married. The birth of your child. That big promotion. The death of a loved one. Even terrorist attacks. Events impact our lives profoundly causing us to form beliefs, often unconsciously, which affect our entire worldview. Can you think of an event that has impacted you in a positive or negative way?

Knowledge Knowledge is not power. Knowledge is potential power. Applied knowledge is a dynamic tool in knocking down the walls of limiting beliefs. Become a life-long learner, and seek out knowledge with laser focus. Put yourself in proximity with people who know more than you do. Proximity is power! Model the best and learn from their experience and you can create the beliefs that will compel you to succeed.

Past Results We all create beliefs around the results of past achievements or failures. But past results do not equal future results. Build certainty and confidence by building on successes, even small ones. Stack positive results in order to believe you can achieve what you set out to do.

Future Vision  Just as past experiences impact your beliefs about what is possible, so does your imagined experience of the future. It is absolutely essential that you create a compelling future. No one else can do this for you. Prime yourself for success by first taking a few minutes to visualize your success. Then make it compelling by writing down the reasons you MUST make it that way. Imagine the way you will feel if that is your future. Finally anchor this in your body by standing up and celebrating!

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mind-meaning/do-your-beliefs-limit-you/

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mind-meaning/empowering-beliefs/

30% Dynamo genius: those who express their genius through creativity and ideas. 20% Blaze genius: those whose genius becomes clear through their interaction with others. 45% Tempo genius: those whose genius expresses itself through their ability to see the big picture and stay the course 5% Steel genius: those who are brilliant at sweating the small stuff and doing something with the details that other missed or couldn’t envision.

Separate thinking into six distinctly defined functions by progressively donning a series of metaphorical hats.

• white hat: information gathering mode. At this point, your focus is on collecting details and getting all the facts you’ll need to address whatever issue you’re trying to address. To help you remember this, think of a white lab coat.

• yellow hat: optimism in thinking. Here, you’re trying to identify the positives in any problem or challenge you’re facing, highlighting the value inherently in place. As your memory tip here, think of the yellow sun.

• black hat: to pivot from looking at the good side of the challenge to facing its difficulties and pitfalls. This is where you’ll come face to face with the consequences of failing to successful address a problem. Memory tip: think about a judge’s robe.

• red hat: emotion comes into play. This is the point where you can let your feelings about the problem come to the surface, and maybe even express fears. This is also where you can allow speculation and intuition to enter into the conversation. To remember this, think about a red heart.

• green hat: creativity mode. What new ideas can you bring to what you already know about the problem? How can you come at it in a way you haven’t considered before? Memory tip: think about green grass.

• Blue hat: management mode. It makes sure you’ve addressed your agenda productively, and gone through the process in a way that benefits from all the other hats you’ve worn. Often, organizations will start with the blue hat to set goals for a meeting and then put it on again at the end. Even if you’re using the six hats by yourself, this is something you might want to consider. To remember this, think about blue skies.

At its core, it is a neatly defined way of looking at an issue from all sides.

1. You make sure you’re clear on what you need to address.

2. Then, you determine that you have all the facts in front of you.

3. Next, you make sure you’re dealing with the issue with a positive perspective.

4. Then, you get real about the challenges you’re facing and allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling about it.

5. After this, you allow yourself to attack the problem from perspectives you might have considered before. Let your imagination run free.

6. Circle back to make sure you’ve addressed what you set out to address during this session.

It’s not about thinking outside the box, it is about thinking in a completely different box. Naveen Jain. Incremental = make it better (10%), exponential = do things differently (10x). It looks like:Step 1: get to the underlying root cause of a problem (Einstein: 95% time spending on problem). Example water and drought: not looking at relocating fresh water, but spend time on agriculture draining fresh water. FOCUS ON ROOT AND CORE, NOT THE BRANCHES AND LEAVES. What is the underlying problem of the problem? step 2: posit a new approach. Fill your thoughts with ‘what-if’ statements. What if we could no longer touch things with our hands to interact or what if the world was 90% flooded? Whole different way. What if there were only 18 hours in a day instead of 24? step 3: read about it. Or discuss? step 4: extrapolate. Try out scenarios.

• First, get clear on what did or didn’t happen. Often, we confuse cause with correlation, so be sure you understand what happened and what led to the mistake or error. • Next, ask yourself why those mistakes happened. Look for the deeper layers behind the incident. You might ask “why” until you’ve run out of layers to question. • Then ask how you can best avoid the same mistakes in the future. If some of the factors that caused the error are out of your control, ask how you can prevent causes that can’t be eliminated. • Finally, using what you’ve gleaned from this exercise, determine how you can create the best conditions to support your desired outcomes in the future.

Peter Thiel destroying Gawker story. • Always ask yourself “and then what?” • Think in increments of time. What do the consequences look like in five days? Five months? Five years? • Draw out the possible courses of action you might take using columns to organize consequences. This might allow you to see what others can’t see.

1. Analyze and feel possible answers to the question: “How else can I use my brain”? I can use it to learn how to knead, collect a lot of information and make it applicable, expand skill set around strategy, planning. See it as a universem within, a big black hole that sponges everything up and applies it in my actions, which brings my life closer to my purpose: helping others by bringing magic into the world.

2. Think of a problem that need to be solved right now. It can be anything from ‘how can I get that job’ to ‘how can I communicate better with my family’? Use the six thinking hats model to run through the different perspectives of looking at the problem you’re trying to solve.

3. Create your not-to-do list (easy list with minor hits in regular life, like no more SM) and a specific not to do list.

4. Have I found my meaning? The ultimate purpose of life is a life of purpose. The most noble thing that you can do is to discover your purpose. We all have a calling, and it is our number one duty to discover what that purpose is all about. We all have a special genius, flip on the mind-switch. Two simple steps: find your Darma, your daily purpose and step 2: take single-minded daily action to fulfil this purpose. Singularity of purpose. Find out what you were meant to do and then have the courage to do it. The happiest moment in your life is the moment you discover your Darma. Knowing your purpose is like having a personal lighthouse. Your Darma is your anchor, it gives the courage to stop your fire from spreading into 100 directions. When you are on purpose, you get off chaos. “Be ashamed to die, unless you have scored a victory for man-kind.”

5. Train your mind to keep your cup empty. Visualise you as an empty cup.

6. DO THE FIVE TIMELESS TECHNIQUES (!) Identify yourself with your mantra’s, not materials. Best moments to program your mind is just before you wake up or just before you go to bed, when your mind is most receptive. You change your mind to mantra’s instead of mental clutter that usually is in your head. How to apply mantra’s? • Use in present tense (I am xxxx) • Say mantra’s out loud (softly under your breath) • Write down your affirmations on paper • Make them rime or bring in a rhythm (‘I’m a lean, keen, high-performing machine’). • You can also use quotes

7. Create a death bed mentality (!!) What if I die tomorrow? Start living every day as if it is your last: ask yourself in the beginning of the day to get yourself focused: what would I do today if this day was my last? In your minds eye, see yourself acting as if it was your last day.

*The mind is a powerful servant, but a terrible master - *Unknown

The world we live in today is filled with negative news and trivial banter on social media that can have a detrimental effect on our minds and souls over time. It's important to be mindful of what we allow into our minds, as negative thoughts can lead to feelings of disempowerment, disenchantment and disillusionment.

One way to counteract this is to proactively feed our minds with positive and uplifting content. This can be as simple as reading for 10 minutes a day, meditating for 10 minutes in the morning, or listening to a podcast during your commute. These small actions can become habits that shape our perspective and help us to better control our thoughts and environment.

Additionally, it's important to stand guard at the door of your mind and be selective about what you let in. This means being mindful of the news you consume and the social media interactions you engage in, and making a conscious effort to seek out positive and uplifting content. By making these small changes and consistently feeding our minds with positive content, we can elevate our lives and find new opportunities for improvement.

“Stand guard at the door of your mind.”

If you don’t watch what you let into your mind – negative thoughts from yourself or from others – then you are allowing weeds to grow and to spread. Life just starts to happens to you. No matter how smart you are, how savvy you are, how inspired you are – if you don’t stand guard at the door of your mind, then you are giving the tacit approval of the disempowering, disenchanting and disillusioning.

So what’s the best way to feed your mind? To proactively feed it. And that is a lot easier than you may think. Tell yourself that this year, there isn’t going to be a single day where you don’t do something that positively feeds your mind. Even if it’s as minuscule as reading for 10 minutes a day. Even if it’s meditating for 10 minutes every morning. Think that’s too much? Then what about listening to a podcast on your commute. How much extra time does that take out of your day? Absolutely none!

The more that you make this a habit, the more engrained it will become in the way you go throughout the day. Negative news on the television will begin to signal you to change the channel. Pedantic arguments on social media will inspire you to watch an inspiring YouTube clip. The stress of a morning commute may even turn into your favorite part of the day as you listen to an empowering and enlightening podcast.

Eventually, these small changes will add up in one very big way. You will become more in control of your thoughts. You will become more in command of your environment. And you will be more conscious of the ways that you can elevate your life and find new opportunities for improvement.

Standing guard at the door of your mind means being mindful of the thoughts and information that you allow into your mind. Here are some ways to do that:

1. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is the act of being present in the moment and aware of your thoughts and emotions. By practicing mindfulness, you can become more aware of negative thoughts and choose to let them go instead of dwelling on them.

2. Limit exposure to negative news and social media: The constant bombardment of negative news and petty arguments on social media can have a negative impact on your mental well-being. Limit your exposure to these sources by setting time limits for yourself or unfollowing accounts that bring negativity into your life.

3. Fill your mind with positive information: Proactively feed your mind with positive thoughts, ideas, and inspiration. This can be done by reading uplifting books, listening to inspiring podcasts, or watching motivational videos.

4. Practice self-reflection: Take time to reflect on your thoughts and emotions. This will help you to identify negative patterns and work on changing them.

5. Surround yourself with positive people: The people you surround yourself with can also have a significant impact on your thoughts and emotions. Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you.

Remember, standing guard at the door of your mind is an ongoing process and it takes time and effort to establish a positive mindset. But by making small changes in your daily habits, you can gradually shift your mindset to one that is more positive and empowering.

Focus on increasing the quality of your thoughts. Shape the quality of your thoughts (!) to improve your world. Your thoughts are a translation from your source of life, they form your actions. See your mind as a garden, nourish it with the best you can find, and maintain it. Do NOT let the weeds take over. Use your mind at the highest level of functioning.

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The keys to genius

The first key to genius is Growth.

• Mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck is all about the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset. • People who excel at the highest level are committed to growth and consistent improvement. • It’s not about perfection but progress because practice makes progress. • In what ways are you committed to the growth mindset? • Have you scheduled that growth into your calendar? • People say they want better health and more income…but if you don’t schedule it, it won’t happen. • Consider: what is your self-growth time? What is on your to-learn list (and not just your to-do list)? What’s on your to-grow list?

The second key to genius is Giving. • The road to excellence isn’t about “me.” It’s about “we.” • Everything in nature gives or is eliminated – which means you grow so you have more to give. • This is why when you teach something, you get to learn it twice. • When you learn and grow with the intention to give, you have more of yourself. • You don’t give to get. You give because it’s who you are.

The third key to genius is Gratitude. • Some people create vision boards to help them achieve their goals. Why not create a gratitude board? • In Kwik Brain 016: My Morning Routine (How to Jumpstart Your Brain & Day), I spoke of how I like to start my day with gratitude. • How can you appreciate the things you’ll eventually have if you don’t appreciate what you have now? • If you want to truly feel wealthy, write down everything you have in your life that money can’t buy. Think of your health, the people you love, your sense of sight, et cetera. • Success builds on success – but you must appreciate the success you already have.

The fourth key to genius is Grit. • Grit is perseverance, persistence, and your ability to overcome difficulties. There is a bestselling book called Grit by Angela Duckworth. • When you have a big goal, you’re going to face challenges. • Look at your problems as puzzles. • At a past Kwik Brain event, I asked renowned music producer, the then-84-year-old Quincy Jones, how he overcame problems. • He responded, “I don’t have problems. I have puzzles.” • This is a great perspective because puzzles are fun AND have solutions. • I dedicated my life to solving the puzzle of how memory works. Now, I give it to other people because I am grateful for the opportunity. My struggle led to strength. • You build grit through practice. • Grit is a muscle, and challenge leads to change. • Most people have heard of post-traumatic stress, but not post-traumatic growth. • • Many people who’ve faced adversity say they wouldn’t change anything because this adversity gave them a mission and a new sense of meaning they couldn’t get anywhere else. • To build grit, put yourself in uncomfortable positions. Bruce Lee once said, “If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there. You must go beyond them.” • The difference between a normal person and a champion is that a champion is willing to push past the pain period. • I once was invited to a boxing match with Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger. When I asked them what the difference between a normal person and a champion is, this is the answer Arnold gave me. • With curls, the one you don’t want to do the most is the one that’s going to help you the most. • Grit also helps you be resourceful. • MacGyver was able to survive on his island not because he had resources but because he was able to find and develop resources when he had none. This required a level of grit and persistence – which he developed by going through painful times. • When you are going through painful times and unsure whether to take on something, ask yourself: will the pleasure outweigh the pain?

Seven internal laws for mastering your mind:

1. Law of subjective reality – the nature of the world is determined by your nature. You can shape your world, choose the color of your lens. Toxic thoughts drain you. Your thoughts are things, little bundles of energy you create releasing a tiny message in the world and shaping your reality (“neurotransmitters”). Only put in the best information, what goes in goes out. You are NOT your thoughts, you are the creator of your thoughts.

2. Law of like and attraction: what you think is what you get. What you lack, can be traced back to your thoughts. You can get what you want (!) Start filling your day with only good and positive thoughts. Thoughts are like boomerangs. An abundant conscience creates wealthy mindsets. Example: spend time visiting places wealthy people went, even if you don’t have the money, just to get into the right mindset. Take yourself to a place where wealth is. Create that prosperity mindset. Important note: there are different forms of wealth, and financial wealth is not the only one.

3. The power of Darma. If you haven’t found meaning in your life, you haven’t found purpose. The ultimate purpose of life is a life of purpose. The noblest thing that you can do is to discover your purpose. We all have a calling, and it is our number one duty to discover what that purpose is all about. We all have a special genius, flip on the mind switch. Two simple steps: find your Darma, your daily purpose, and step 2: take single-minded daily action to fulfill this purpose. The singularity of purpose. Find out what you were meant to do and then have the courage to do it. The happiest moment in your life is the moment you discover your Darma. Knowing your purpose is like having a personal lighthouse. Your Darma is your anchor, it gives you the courage to stop your fire from spreading in 100 directions. When you are on purpose, you get off chaos. “Be ashamed to die, unless you have scored a victory for mankind.”

4. The law of Karma. Your mind is like a muscle, the more your use it and push it, the more it starts to grow. Take dedicated action towards your Darma (Karma). Karma is the law of cause and effect. For every action you take in your life, you receive an equal appropriate amount of reaction. “You get what you deserve”. Follow your Darma through the events of your Karma.

5. Law of conditional gratitude. The person that stops being thankful, has fallen asleep in life. Study the opposite as well: the law of familiar focus. The things you are most familiar with are the ones you take for granted and don’t appreciate. Family? Kids? How often do you give thanks for all the good things?

6. Law of egoless, selfless service! To improve the quality of your life, the best thing you can do is to improve the quality of life of others.

Creating the mindset of a champion is all about reprogramming your mind. It's about transforming your mindset and achieving your dreams in 8 steps.

Step 1: Decide what you want. The first step to creating the mindset of a champion is to decide what it is you truly deserve. Don't be afraid to think big and let yourself want more out of life.

Step 2: Believe in yourself. You need to hold a deep belief that you truly deserve good things. Don't let limiting beliefs hold you back from getting what you deserve.

Step 3: Be willing to receive. So many of us are givers, always focusing on the needs of others. To get what you deserve, you need to have time and energy to spend on yourself and an open mindset that is ready to receive.

Step 4: Raise your standards. We get what we're willing to put up with. If you're not getting what you think you deserve, you need to raise your standards.

Step 5: Embrace change. To raise your standards, you're going to have to make some changes. If you're not able to get what you deserve where you are, then leave. Change jobs, change relationships and surround yourself with people who have the things that you want and who will challenge you to reach your goals.

Step 6: Take a chance. No change worth making comes without risk. Learn to overcome anxiety and be willing to put yourself out there to take a chance. Failure is a part of achieving anything worthwhile.

Step 7: Build your confidence. Getting out of your comfort zone will naturally build your confidence. Confident people go after things even if they don't think they deserve them.

Step 8: Stay consistent. Consistently reprogramming your mind, being consistent in your actions and holding yourself to a high standard is key to creating the mindset of a champion.

Creating the mindset of a champion is a process and it takes time, but if you're willing to put in the work, you can achieve your dreams. Remember that life doesn't owe you anything and that you have the power to control your thoughts and actions. With an open and positive mindset, and a willingness to work for it, you can get what you truly deserve.

Understand and take control of the subconscious mind

Have you ever felt like you've hit a plateau in life? Like you're stuck in the status quo and not living up to your full potential? Well, it's not too late to change that. You can reprogram your mind and give yourself the focus and determination to design a life filled with fulfillment, joy, and passion.

We all have a vague idea of what we think we deserve in life. But when things don't go according to plan, we often become frustrated and upset. "Why is this happening to me?" we wonder. While this discontent can be powerful and spur us to make changes, it can also lead to self-sabotage. We start to think we deserve better and work a little harder for a few days, but then we drop back down to where we think we belong.

What if I told you that you can take active control and reprogram your mind to redirect your focus and make your life a masterpiece? The subconscious mind is the key to success and learning how to reprogram it can make all the difference.

But what exactly is the subconscious mind? It's the part of our mind that makes decisions without us actively thinking about them. It's different from the conscious mind, which encompasses the thoughts we're aware of having at any given moment, and the unconscious mind, which holds past events and experiences that we don't remember.

An example of the subconscious mind at work is learning to play an instrument. At first, you have to actively think about translating the sheet music and moving your fingers to play each note. But as you practice, you find that you can pick up any song and play it without thinking.

The subconscious mind affects every aspect of our lives, from information processing to the beliefs and values we hold. It determines our memories and monitors the information around us, deciding what to send to the conscious mind and what to store for later. And yet, most of us aren't even aware of its power.

So, how long does it take to reprogram the subconscious mind? On average, it takes about three to four weeks, but it could take longer depending on how ingrained the behavior is that you want to change and your limiting beliefs.

To reprogram your mind for success, there are three steps you need to take to shift your mindset and focus in the right direction:

1. Decide: Gain absolute clarity on what it is you want. What is your desired outcome? What does an extraordinary life look like to you? The more thought and detail you put into this, the stronger and more powerful your vision will become, creating a subconscious mind map to turn that vision into reality.

2. Believe: Believe that you deserve what you want. Stop letting limiting beliefs hold you back. Put the past behind you and have faith in yourself.

3. Take action: Be willing to receive and take action to achieve your goals. Raise your standards, embrace change, take risks and build your confidence.

By understanding and taking control of the subconscious mind, you can reprogram it to give you the focus and determination it takes to design a life that gives you fulfillment, joy, and passion. So, what are you waiting for? It's time to take back control of your mind and set your sights on something better.

In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life and lose sight of the present moment. We're constantly bombarded with distractions, whether it's the constant notifications on our phones or the never-ending to-do list in our minds. But what if there was a way to break free from this cycle of stress and anxiety and tap into a deeper sense of clarity and focus? This is where mindfulness comes in.

At its core, mindfulness is the practice of being fully present and engaged in the current moment, without judgment. It's about paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations, and learning to observe them without getting caught up in them. This simple yet powerful practice has been shown to have a wide range of benefits, from reducing stress and anxiety to improving focus and creativity.

About mindfulness:

• Mindfulness has been shown to activate the default mode network (DMN) in the brain, which is associated with self-referential thinking and mind-wandering. This suggests that mindfulness may help us to become less caught up in our thoughts and more focused on the present moment.

• Mindfulness has been shown to reduce activity in the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for the "fight or flight" response. This suggests that mindfulness may help us to become less reactive to stress and more resilient in the face of challenges.

• Mindfulness has been shown to increase gray matter in the hippocampus, the part of the brain associated with memory and learning. This suggests that mindfulness may help us to improve our cognitive function and become more creative.

So, how can you integrate mindfulness into your life? Here are a few practical tips:

1. Start small. Mindfulness is a skill that takes practice, so don't expect to become an expert overnight. Start with just a few minutes of mindfulness each day and gradually increase the duration as you become more comfortable with the practice.

2. Find a quiet place. Mindfulness is best practiced in a quiet, distraction-free environment. Find a place where you can sit comfortably and focus on your breath.

3. Focus on your breath. The breath is a powerful anchor for the mind, and focusing on it can help you to stay present in the moment. As you breathe in, count to four, and as you breathe out, count to four.

4. Observe your thoughts. When your mind begins to wander, simply observe your thoughts without getting caught up in them. Imagine that you are watching a movie, and your thoughts are the characters on the screen.

5. Practice regularly. Mindfulness is like a muscle; the more you use it, the stronger it becomes. Try to practice mindfulness at least once a day, and make it a part of your daily routine.

What is my state of mind?

“State of mind” is defined as the quality of one’s consciousness as it relates to the outside world, as well as the perception of inner thoughts and emotions. It includes your mood and your mental state at a certain point in time. Depressed, anxious, rational, critical and engaged are all examples of states of mind. You can even be in more than one state of mind at a time.

Before you can answer the question, “How do I change my state of mind?,” you need to know how it’s different from mood. Your mood is fleeting. If someone cuts you off in traffic, you may feel angry. Or if you read a sad news story, you may feel depressed. Even if you then go through the entire day feeling that way, it’s still just a bad mood. Your state of mind is on a higher level of consciousness – and you have control over both. When you’re in control of your state of mind, you’re the master of your emotions and you understand that life is happening for you, not to you. When you change your mood, you change your life.

The difference between peak performance and poor performance is not intelligence or ability; most often it’s the state that your mind and body is in.

Check your state

In a rut?

1. Identifying the signs of being stuck in a rut: feeling tired and rundown, nothing excites or challenges you, feeling like life is on a negative loop, not having energy, not being excited for the day, staying in your comfort zone, not getting ahead.

2. Identifying the cause of being stuck in a rut: the fear of failure and the desire for certainty.

3. Steps to getting out of a rut: getting out of denial, uncovering the real reason, setting new goals, creating new habits, and training the brain to make new connections.

How to get out of your rut

Step 1: Identify the source of your fear and negative emotions. Recognize that external forces may be causing these emotions, but that you have the power to take control of your internal reaction to them.

Step 2: Take action to shift your focus. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts and worst-case scenarios, focus on what you have and practice gratitude. Connect and contribute to something greater than yourself. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment such as reading a book, exercise or spending time with loved ones.

Step 3: Embrace uncertainty and develop a sense of faith. Recognize that certainty is a habit that can be created and that by focusing on what you can control and make happen, you can shift your mindset and emotions.

Step 4: Create a list of activities to help you feel better fast when you are experiencing negative emotions. These activities should be positive and not include addictive substances such as food, alcohol or drugs. Examples could include going for a walk, journaling, meditating, or listening to music.

Step 5: Practice mindfulness and being present in the moment. By being fully engaged in the present, you can reduce stress and negative emotions.

Step 6: Seek help if necessary. Sometimes, negative emotions and fear can be overwhelming and may require professional help. Don't hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor for support.

If you ever feel unlucky -→

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Five timeless techniques. Master Kim example: poring tea while cup was full in back yard with friend. Just like this cup, you are overflowing with your own ideas. How can ever go more in unless you first empty this cup? Keep your cups empty, stay open for new ideas. Be creative and full of energy.

Don’t become a slave of complacency. Don’t do the same things every day, you get the same results. Push your mind, your body, your soul to the highest boundaries. This is scary.

1. Technique of the mantra (man = mind, tra = freeing). The words you use, shape your inner identity and the way you see yourself. Replace the bad words for good words. ALSO watch your inner dialogue. Identify yourself with your mantra’s, not materials. Best moments to program your mind is just before you wake up or just before you go to bed, when your mind is most receptive. You change your mind to mantra’s instead of mental clutter that usually is in your head. How to apply mantra’s? • Use in present tense (I am xxxx) • Say mantra’s out loud (softly under your breath) • Write down your affirmations on paper • Make them rime or bring in a rhythm (‘I’m a lean, keen, high-performing machine’). • You can also use quotes

2. The second technique for self-leadership is blue printing. Create a blue-print, a crystal clear mental picture of every aspect in your life before you take action. The mind work through pictures, the more clear you can see yourself the greater chance this will happen. VISUALISE. See something first in your mind’s eye, you then have a superb chance of creating that in reality. Be an architect of the future. Visualise your dreams, but all aspects you do. LIFE IS A MENTAL GAME. How to set up a good blue print? • Before you start, be in a relaxed state (be fully open and perceptieve to create a blue print). A tensed mind blocks effective visualisations. Block every effective high-performance for that matter. Deep breath, meditation. Release that genius state, I’m all about. • Picture yourself performing ideally in that situation. Create that mental picture, on how you want to act. The clearer and better, get the power of emtions behind it. KEY: Visualize -> emotionalise  realize. • Mentally rehears the outcome before the event: 20 days before happening. Persistance is the mother of personal change.

3. The creation of a death-bed mentality. Start living every day as if it is your last: ask yourself in the beginning of the day to get yourself focused: what would I do today if this day was my last? In your minds eye, see yourself acting as if it was your last day.

4. A milestone conscience. Set daily, monthly, weekly milestones/objectives so you know where you are going. How can you hit a target that you don’t even see and how do you know you have arrived when you are there? You also need a benchmark to mark your growth and see progress. They will give you the focus to start spending your days on the truly most meaningful, most vital and most high impact activities that influence your life. Life goals on goal cards and bring them almost with you. Ghandi: satisfaction lies in the effort, not the attainment. Full effort, is full victory.

5. Human beings are only capable to act on the information in their mind. You can only do what you know. Watch a child: there are no limits. Our actions are limited by these limitations: keep your cup empty. Be constantly hungry for new information and knowledge. We are happiest when we are growing and knowledge is the first source of personal growth. Most happy when you are expanding (remember own happiest moments?). ACT ON WHAT YOU KnOW! It is not about what you know, but what do you do with what you know (!) READING is the most powerful tool we have. We can read up decades from a writer in a few hours. All of the answers out there can be found in a book. Reading is a great form of inner strength. Churchill’s speech: never. Never. Never. Never give up. We are masters of our own faith.

To shift your mindset, stop looking at life as an all-or-nothing situation. Oftentimes changing your mindset happens in small increments. The two-millimeter rule: Sometimes all it takes to change your mindset forever is the smallest, two-millimeter shift in the way you see the world.

Are you ready to take control of your thoughts and reach your full potential? Here are 10 steps to change your mindset and achieve success:

1. Challenge your limiting beliefs: These are the negative stories we tell ourselves about ourselves that hold us back. Recognize and replace them with empowering beliefs.

2. Face your fears: Fear can be a destructive emotion, but it doesn't have to control you. Recognize and overcome your fears to open up new opportunities.

3. Shift your perspective: Change the meaning you give to experiences and see challenges as opportunities.

4. Change your self-talk: Positive language and mantras can change your energy and mindset for the day.

5. Get support: A professional coach can help guide you in changing your mindset and achieving your goals. Take the first step today!

6. Challenge your limiting beliefs, and replace them with empowering ones

7. Change your inner monologue and turn your inner critic into a friend

8. Adjust your posture and use body language to send positive signals to your brain

9. Smile, even if you don't feel like it, it can trick your mind into thinking you're happy

10. Move your body, as emotions are created by motion, and physical activity can change your state of mind.

Practical examples:

1. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, yoga, and deep breathing can help you become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations, which can help you gain control over them and reach a more positive state of mind.

2. Positive affirmations: Repeating positive affirmations to yourself can help you change negative thoughts and beliefs into positive ones, which can help you reach a more positive state of mind.

3. Visualization: Visualizing yourself achieving your goals and reaching your peak state can help you focus on what you want to achieve and create a positive mindset.

4. Setting and achieving goals: Setting and achieving goals can help you focus on what you want to achieve and help you reach a peak state.

5. Surrounding yourself with positive influences: Surrounding yourself with positive people, activities, and environments can help you maintain a positive mindset and reach a peak state.

6. Gratitude practice: Practicing gratitude by focusing on the things you are thankful for can help you shift your focus away from negative thoughts and help you reach a more positive state of mind.

7. Exercise: Regular exercise has been shown to have positive effects on mental and emotional well-being, and can help you reach a peak state.

8. Getting enough sleep: Sleep is essential for physical and mental well-being and lack of sleep can negatively impact your ability to reach a peak state.

9. Practice self-compassion: Being kind and understanding to yourself, rather than self-critical, can help you reach a peak state.

Peak state models

There are several models and techniques that can help individuals get into a peak state and reach their full potential. Some popular ones include:

1. The Flow State: Developed by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the flow state is a psychological state in which an individual is fully immersed in an activity and experiences a sense of effortless concentration and enjoyment. To achieve flow, individuals need to set clear and challenging goals, have immediate feedback on their progress, and be completely absorbed in the task at hand.

2. The Peak Performance Pyramid: Developed by Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness, the peak performance pyramid is a framework for achieving optimal performance. It includes four elements: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. To reach peak performance, individuals need to focus on all four elements and find balance among them.

3. The Pomodoro Technique: Developed by Francesco Cirillo, the Pomodoro Technique is a time management method that involves breaking down work into 25-minute intervals (called "pomodoros") separated by short breaks. This technique helps individuals stay focused, avoid burnout and increase productivity.

4. The 4-7-8 Breathing Technique: Developed by Dr. Andrew Weil, the 4-7-8 breathing technique is a simple and effective way to reduce stress and anxiety. It involves inhaling for a count of 4, holding for a count of 7, and exhaling for a count of 8. This technique helps activate the body's relaxation response and can be done anywhere, at any time.

5. The SMARTER Goals: S.M.A.R.T.E.R. goals is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound, Evaluate and Re-evaluate. This method helps individuals to set clear, achievable and measurable goals, which is essential to reach their full potential.

6. The GROW Model: Developed by Sir John Whitmore, the GROW model is a goal-setting and problem-solving framework that helps individuals set clear, achievable and measurable goals. It stands for Goal, Reality, Options, and Will. This method helps individuals to identify and overcome the barriers that are preventing them from reaching their full potential.

7. The Mindfulness Practice: Mindfulness is the ability to be present and fully engaged in the current moment. It is a practice that helps individuals to develop self-awareness, focus and inner peace. Mindfulness is believed to enhance the ability to manage stress and emotions, improve relationships and decision-making and increase overall well-being.

8. The 80/20 Rule: Developed by Vilfredo Pareto, the 80/20 rule states that 80% of the outcomes come from 20% of the inputs. The rule helps individuals to focus on the most important tasks and prioritize their time and energy.

These are some of the most popular models and techniques that can help individuals get into a peak state and reach their full potential. However, it's important to note

Wisdom from an AI: It is not appropriate to refer to any person or group as an "enemy." Everyone has different perspectives and experiences, and it is important to treat all individuals with respect and empathy. It is more productive to focus on understanding and addressing conflicts or differences in a constructive and peaceful manner.

With that said:

Signs that you need to be honest with yourself

1. If something feels “off” in your life

2. You self-sabotage

3. You complain, but don’t take action

4. You don’t take criticism well

How to be honest with yourself

An important aspect of authenticity is being honest with yourself. We all tell ourselves stories that explain our emotions and actions, but it's important to take a step back and question whether these stories are true. Be aware of your own biases and assumptions, and be willing to challenge them.

To be authentic, it's also important to build connections with others. We naturally mirror those we feel a connection to, and by being prepared to match and mirror the people around us, we can quickly build rapport and leave a positive impression.

In short, being authentic requires understanding and adapting to cultural norms, being honest with yourself, and building connections with others. By understanding and respecting the nuances of different regions and cultures, and staying true to yourself, you'll be able to communicate effectively and build authentic relationships.

Once you’ve identified that you need to be honest with yourself, it’s time to take action. This won’t be pleasant – it might even be painful. But it will open up a new world of possibility and happiness.

1. Be vulnerable

There is nothing more courageous than allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

2. Reflect on your decisions

Taking time out each day to reflect can not only help you be honest with yourself, but can make you feel more fulfilled and grateful. Try writing in a journal at the end of each day, answering questions like, what did I do right today? What can I do better tomorrow? How did my actions help me reach my ultimate goals – or prevent me from reaching them? When you write down your thoughts, it’s much harder to lie to yourself.

3. Picture your future

4. Develop self-awareness

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mind-meaning/10-common-defense-mechanisms/

How to spot self-defeating habits that are holding you back

Defense mechanisms are unconscious mental processes that help individuals protect themselves from feelings of anxiety or guilt, or from experiencing negative emotions such as fear, anger, or shame. They are a normal part of human behavior and are often used to help people cope with stress, difficult situations, and traumatic experiences.

There are many different types of defense mechanisms, but some of the most common include:

1. Denial

Denial is one of the most common defense mechanisms. When a situation or fact becomes too much to handle, you may cope by refusing to experience it. By denying reality, you are essentially protecting yourself from having to face and deal with the unpleasant consequences and pain that accompany acceptance. If you tell yourself “I’m just a social drinker” instead of dealing with your serious drinking problem, or that “Every couple eventually loses the romance” instead of facing your failing marriage, you are utilizing denial as a defense mechanism. And while this may alleviate any short-term pain, in the long run, denial can prevent you from making positive changes in your life, and can have potentially destructive ramifications.

Denial defense mechanism examples

• A smoker denies that his habit has negative health consequences so he can continue smoking.

• A parent denies that her son has dropped out of college even though the school administrator has left her three voicemails telling her so.

• A business owner denies that her business is failing despite declining profits.

How to identify denial defense mechanisms

If there is overwhelming evidence to believe something and you still insist it’s not happening, you are likely utilizing denial as a defense mechanism. Signs of this are refusing to talk to someone about a possible issue, avoiding situations where you may have to face up to the truth and filling your time with busywork so you don’t have to think about a certain situation.

2. Repression

There is a fine line between denial and repression when it comes to defense mechanisms. But where denial involves the outright refusal to accept a given reality, repression involves completely forgetting the experience. With repression, your mind makes the decision to bury the memory in your subconscious, thereby preventing painful, disturbing or dangerous thoughts from entering your awareness. This is often the case with child abuse or other traumatic experiences that occurred early on in development. Repression may serve immediate purposes, particularly if you were tormented by a painful experience, but if you do not eventually process and deal with the experience, it can have severe consequences later on in life.

Repression defense mechanism examples:

• A soldier back from the Middle East represses a memory of killing a civilian. He has recurrent nightmares about the incident, but doesn’t consciously remember it.

• A young child forgets being bitten by a dog but develops a phobia of dogs as he gets older.

• An adult represses memories of an abusive childhood in order to maintain the illusion of a healthy, functional family. The family unit remains intact, but the individual suffers from depression without understanding why.

How to identify repression defense mechanisms

Depending on how deeply an experience has been buried in your subconscious, this one can be difficult to spot. However, there are some symptoms you need to pay attention to, such as angry outbursts that are not proportionate to the trigger, nightmares with repetitive themes and feelings of depression or anxiety that seem to come out of nowhere.

3. Displacement

Have you ever endured a stressful day at work, then come home and taken out your frustration on your loved ones? What about a time where you had an argument with your partner, then got in your car and found your patience waning with every driver on the road? If the answer is yes, you’re experiencing displacement – one of the typical defense mechanism examples in busy adults.

With displacement, you’re transferring your emotions from the person or situation that is the target of your frustration to someone or something else entirely. Subconsciously, you believe that to confront the source of your feelings may be too dangerous or risky, so you shift the focus toward a target or situation that is less intimidating or dangerous – for example, the hapless driver in the next lane over.

While displacement may protect you from losing your job or burning a bridge, it will not help you handle the emotions you are experiencing, and you will also end up hurting someone completely innocent. This becomes an even bigger issue when you routinely use defense mechanisms like displacement with your significant other as it violates the cardinal rules of love and will eventually ruin your connection. It’s better to face the issue head-on with the person you’re actually frustrated with.

Displacement defense mechanism examples

• A woman who is frustrated because her boss made her work late again comes home and yells at her son for asking what’s for dinner.

• A man who is mad that he can’t seem to get ahead at work constantly criticizes his wife for not making more money.

• An employer who is frustrated with his business’ losses blames his employees instead of rethinking his business strategy.

How to identify displacement defense mechanisms

If you’re blowing up at people who have done little or nothing to upset you, this is a classic sign you’re displacing your frustrations. You may even have a “favorite” person to take out your anger or frustration on because you view them as “safe” or unable to do anything about your irrational behavior. If you’ve been called a “hothead” or “bully,” you may be routinely displaying the displacement defense mechanism.

4. Projection

Projection is a common coping tool for avoiding unpleasant feelings. It’s one of the defense mechanisms that can crop up if you find yourself in a situation where you feel like a fish out of water. Perhaps you’re interacting with a group of strangers and haven’t been able to connect with anyone yet. You feel uncomfortable and a bit anxious. You start to see that others are staring at you with what you perceive as a critical, judgmental eye. They do not say anything or do anything that is objectively negative, but your insecurity causes you to “project” your feelings onto others. The feelings may even become so intense that you demand to know, “What are you staring at?”

Most of us have found ourselves in a situation in which we project our feelings, shortcomings or unacceptable impulses onto the people around us. The reason we do so is because to recognize that particular quality in ourselves would cause us pain and suffering. Instead of looking inward, we blame external events and people for how we’re feeling.

Like the other defense mechanisms, projection can sometimes be used in a positive way, such as when you project feelings of love, confidence and care onto others. But when it impacts us in a negative way, it only compounds the stress and anxiety and prevents us from dealing with the root of those emotions. The projection defense mechanism is one of the most damaging of the 10, as it can lead to heightened feelings of paranoia and anxiety. It can also contribute to limiting beliefs about others that cause you to become bitter, suspicious or antisocial.

Projection defense mechanism examples

• You really dislike your manager at work who treats you just like they treat everyone else. Instead of admitting your dislike, you tell everyone the manager has a grudge against you and is trying to sabotage your career.

• A woman is in a bad mood all day and comes home to her husband. After greeting her warmly and asking about her day, she instantly accuses him of being in a bad mood and ruining her evening.

• A father has body image issues but refuses to make lifestyle changes that would help him lose weight. Instead, he berates his daughter for her weight, projecting his lack of self-confidence onto her.

How to identify projection defense mechanisms

If you are constantly being told you act irrationally, you may be using projection as one of your defense mechanisms. Does your partner tell you, “It’s like you’re not even hearing what I’m saying”? Do those you get upset with seem confused by your reaction? Do you think that everyone is out to get you or that you are always being treated unfairly? If so, it’s time to look into the possibility that you are projecting your feelings onto others.

5. Reaction formation

With reaction formation defense mechanisms, you are going beyond denial and behaving in the opposite way of which you think or feel. Typically, reaction formation is marked by a blatant display. For example, the man who preaches his disdain for homosexuality may use it as a defense against confronting his own homosexual feelings. By casting stones at someone or something else, you are trying to take the pressure off yourself instead of directly dealing with the issue.

Reaction formation defense mechanism examples

• A woman dotes on her aging mother by cooking her meals, cleaning her home and taking her to appointments while she secretly despises her.

• A person with a drinking problem extols the virtues of sobriety instead of taking steps toward moderate drinking.

• An employer with deeply-held racist ideologies employs a company policy of affirmative action to hide his true beliefs.

How to recognize reaction formation defense mechanisms

An important part of defense mechanisms psychology is the fact that our defenses are often subconscious. You may not know you’re displaying reaction formation tendencies if you don’t look closely at your own emotions and how you really feel about certain people and situations. You may question your own behaviors – “Why do I keep doing favors for him when I think he’s a terrible person?” – or feel deep down that something doesn’t add up with how you feel and how you act.

6. Regression

In times of stress, you may find that your behavior becomes more childish. This is one of the defense mechanisms known as regression. Regression causes you to revert to a younger level of development and earlier, less demanding behaviors as a way of protecting yourself from confronting the actual situation. Imagine, for example, having an argument with your partner, and instead of using conflict resolution tools, you stomp off, slam the door and give your partner the cold shoulder.

According to defense mechanisms psychology, the problem with regression is that you may regret letting your childish behavior become self-destructive. This can lead to far more serious problems if you let it go unchecked. If you continually use regression instead of communication with your partner, you’ll never be able to achieve the healthy relationship you deserve.

Regression defense mechanism examples

• A ten-year-old is in the hospital to get his tonsils removed and begins sucking his thumb like he did when he was a toddler.

• A woman gets in an argument with someone at work and starts sobbing uncontrollably.

• Instead of utilizing mature parenting techniques like empathy and boundaries, a father resorts to temper tantrums to scare his children into obedience.

How to recognize regression defense mechanisms

Do you have emotional outbursts that involve crying, shouting or throwing tantrums? Are you accused of acting childishly? Do you get overwhelmed during a confrontation and feel yourself shut down? These are all signs you’re using regression as part of your defense mechanisms.

7. Rationalization

Rationalization is a common component of defense mechanisms psychology, since it’s an easy defense to rely on. In the plainest terms, rationalization occurs when you try to explain your bad behavior away. Imagine you have an irrationally angry reaction to a situation in front of an esteemed colleague who hopefully respects you. To try to justify your behavior, you blame someone else for provoking you. Even if that may be true, it is not the actual reason for your outburst – it’s an excuse. Although rationalization is a common ego defense mechanism, in most cases, this won’t actually help you pass the blame or justify your behavior. Instead, those around you will view you as childish or egotistical if you’re unable to own your mistakes.

Rationalization defense mechanism examples

• A man forgets to take out the garbage even though his wife has reminded him four times. Instead of apologizing, he rationalizes that she hasn’t loaded the dishwasher so it’s only fair that he not take out the garbage.

• A woman stands up her friend for lunch and tells herself it’s okay because her friend is always late for their morning yoga sessions.

• A student rationalizes cheating on a test by saying the test was too demanding anyway.

How to recognize rationalization defense mechanisms

Most of the time, you’ll have to rely on others to point out when you’re using rationalization as one of your defense mechanisms. Why? Because your rationalizations probably make all the sense in the world to you and it will take an outside point of view to open your eyes. If you feel like you’re always in the right and everyone else is in the wrong a good percentage of the time, it’s very likely you’re relying on rationalization.

8. Sublimation

Sublimation defense mechanisms occur when you transform your conflicted emotions, unmet desires or unacceptable impulses into productive outlets. It’s the situation where you have a stressful day at work, so you go on a long run to cool off. Or you have a fight with your partner, so you turn to writing music. When used to handle a situation you cannot effectively do anything about, sublimation is actually one of the positive defense mechanisms examples and can actually help you achieve goals. But when used routinely to avoid addressing an issue that must be resolved to move forward, it can have negative repercussions.

Sublimation defense mechanism examples

• A man has issues controlling his temper so he joins a rugby league so he can take out his aggression in a socially acceptable manner.

• A woman is frustrated that her daughter has once again neglected to call on her birthday and instead of calling her to voice her upset, she spends three hours scrubbing floors and windows.

• Instead of working to improve his overall health and fitness, a man lacking self-confidence pours all his energy into his career.

Recognizing sublimation defense mechanisms

Do you find yourself doing hard labor, intense exercise or long, exhausting work sessions when they don’t really need to be done? Can you connect those to thoughts of “blowing off steam” or fighting some other emotion? If so, you’re likely using sublimation. By recognizing that sublimation has become part of your unconscious defense mechanism definition, you’re able to take steps to address the behavior.

9. Dissociation

Dissociation is one of the most powerful defense mechanisms. Psychology surrounding dissociation centers on escapism – mentally separating yourself from your body (depersonalization) or environment (derealization) – to distance yourself from overwhelming experiences. Dissociation is common after trauma, since it provides a temporary escape. But when employed long-term, dissociation creates separation from your true self, rendering you impermeable to positive as well as negative experiences.

Dissociation defense mechanism examples

• A woman finds herself engaging in bulimic eating behaviors in a subconscious attempt to escape feelings of shame and self-loathing.

• A man who is unhappy in his career struggles to concentrate at work. His mind wanders frequently – an “easier” fix than doing the work necessary to create a rewarding career.

• A doctor’s parents pressured her into her profession, even though she dreamed of being an athlete. She dissociates by daydreaming about athleticism instead of acknowledging the career turmoil she is experiencing.

Recognizing dissociation defense mechanisms

You don’t have to have a clinical diagnosis to engage dissociation defense mechanisms, which range from mild to severe. On the lighter end of the spectrum, you may have difficulty staying mentally “present” or remaining grounded in your own body. On the heavier end, addictions of all kinds are severe dissociation defense mechanism examples.

10. Avoidance

Last on our list of defense mechanisms is one of the most common: avoidance. Psychology recognizes avoidance as a near-universal phenomena, since it’s human nature to steer clear of the uncomfortable. But when we avoid problems for too long, they only get worse. There are many conscious and subconscious ways to avoid an issue, including the following avoidance defense mechanism examples.

Avoidance defense mechanism examples

• An employee is unhappy at work so he procrastinates instead of getting started on a dreaded project he’s been assigned.

• A couple is having marital difficulties. Instead of addressing their relationship struggles, each person changes the subject of conversation every time it comes up.

• Two friends have been growing apart for years. Instead of accepting that their friendship is no longer fulfilling, one friend keeps up the illusion of friendship through repeated invitations to spend time together.

Recognizing avoidance defense mechanisms

Avoidance is one of the more easily identifiable defense mechanisms, since it’s often conscious and intentional. To recognize whether you’re avoiding an issue instead of confronting it, ask yourself: Does my own personal defense mechanism definition include avoidance? If your knee-jerk answer is “yes,” you must take steps to face your problems directly.

How defense mechanisms are holding you back

Even the healthy use of ego defense mechanisms and other types can keep you from attaining your goals and living the life of your dreams. Why? Because they are all about not facing up to what is really going on. To unlock an extraordinary life, you must be honest with yourself and take responsibility for your own emotions.

How to overcome defense mechanisms?

Now that you have a list of defense mechanisms you may be using, there’s no excuse to avoid confronting how you’re really feeling. While you can’t expect to completely remove defense mechanisms from your life, you can work through the most damaging ones so you can connect better with others and tend to your emotional well-being.

• Become more self-aware

Defense mechanisms are a way of avoiding your true feelings. They tend to crop up as a way to protect ourselves when we feel vulnerable. The first step to overcoming them is accepting that you’re using them in the first place. Once you’re able to recognize when you’re using them, you can dig deeper to identify your emotions. Allow your feelings to communicate with you. Let them say what they need to say. Then act to change your situation, instead of burying how you feel. Once you identify how you’re coping with stress or negative situations, you can more easily change your state. Over time, you’ll be able to handle your problems more directly, which will help lead you to feeling more fulfilled overall.

• Take responsibility

Defense mechanisms are often a way of placing the blame on something outside of ourselves. We believe that things are being done to us, rather than taking responsibility for our own part in our circumstances. The truth is that, as Tony says, “Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity and responsibility to give something back by becoming more. Whatever happens, take responsibility.” To become more, you must accept that you cannot control the way others act. You can control the way that you react. You can control your own emotions. This is the difference between those who let life happen to them, and those who make life happen.

• Break the patterns

Humans are creatures of habit. We all get stuck in patterns, and they often don’t serve us. Once you learn to take responsibility for your own emotions, you’re ready to break those patterns and stop using defense mechanisms. Strategies like mindfulness and practicing gratitude can help you shift your mindset and see the world in a more positive way. Journaling allows you to work through your feelings and begin to see the patterns that hold you back. A professional coach can act as a sounding board and hold you accountable when you’re making unhealthy choices. There are many tools available. It’s all about finding the toolkit that’s right for you.

Everyone deals with defense mechanisms – it’s only natural. But when you rely too heavily on these defense mechanisms and make excuses when you could be making progress, it’s time to analyze your behavior and change your ways.

Working past your defense mechanisms takes effort, but it’s well worth it. Discover the driving force behind your reactions with our quick assessment.

What’s your driving force?

https://core.tonyrobbins.com/driving-force-6/

Most of us go through life running on autopilot. We make it through the day – and we don’t wonder why our day went the way it did. We don’t examine how we felt or the actions we took. We don’t practice self-awareness.

You’re not most people though. You want to wake up to your life. You want to see everything with clarity and focus. You may not know it, but that’s the definition of self-awareness.

Self-awareness allows you to improve every area of your life by taking responsibility for your emotions, thoughts and actions. It can increase confidence, creativity and decision-making skills. It can improve your relationships and your career.

But what is self-awareness really? It isn’t a personality trait or a magical spell. It’s something you can develop with the right tools and a powerful desire.

What is self-awareness?

The basic self-awareness definition is the ability to see and evaluate yourself consciously and objectively. It means understanding that no matter your circumstances, you are the one constant in your own life – and you have the power to control it.

There are a few factors to consider when we ask ourselves, “What is self-awareness?” One important part of the self-awareness definition is whether it is internal or external. Internal self-awareness means knowing your own strengths and weaknesses, controlling your emotions and discovering what you value in life – and realizing how it all relates to your own actions.

No one goes through life seeing themselves exactly how others see them. We often have misperceptions of how we affect others. External self-awareness is the ability to understand how others view you and to adjust your actions so that you’re able to have the impact you desire.

To define self-awareness, we must also take into account that there are several different levels. Some people have no self-awareness at all, while others are extremely self-aware. Most of us fall somewhere in between. Many of us believe that we’re more self-aware than we really are. The truth is that without doing the work – actively practicing self-reflection and mindfulness – most of us never reach peak self-awareness.

Top traits of people with self-awareness

To define self-awareness, it’s helpful to look at examples: What does it look like in action? Highly self-aware people demonstrate many of the same traits.

• Humility. Self-awareness means knowing what you don’t know. Self-aware people realize that just as they have strengths, they have weaknesses.

• Forgiveness. Humility helps self-aware people forgive others, because they realize that just as they don’t know everything, neither does anyone else.

• Growth mindset. Self-aware people want to improve on their weaknesses and use their strengths for good. This growth mindset means they seek to improve themselves and the world.

• Emotional mastery. Self-aareness is not just the ability to be aware of your emotions – it’s being able to control them. Emotional mastery is what allows you to grow.

• Confidence. Self-awareness is ultimately about being the best you can be by uncovering your strengths and using them for good. That’s an amazing way to boost confidence.

• Clarity. Once you gain self-awareness, you’ll also gain the ability to see the bigger picture. You’ll realize where you fit in the puzzle of life, and start to see every problem as a gift.

How to develop self-awareness

A self-awareness definition is of no use if we don’t put it into action. Becoming self-aware is a process of monitoring and understanding our emotions, thoughts and actions. It requires time, attention and focus – but being able to live in a beautiful state is worth the effort. Focus on your best self

1. Understand the six human needs

All of our decisions are based on six human needs: certainty, variety, significance, connection, growth and contribution. We all place different levels of importance on each need. Understanding your top need is fundamental to your self-awareness.

2. Uncover your limiting beliefs

The meaning we give to each of the six human needs comes from our past experiences. Our experiences also leave us with limiting beliefs that affect the way we see ourselves and others. Deconstructing these beliefs is essential to finding self-awareness.

3. Reflect on your emotions

Our human needs and limiting beliefs affect our emotions, which affect our thoughts. Our thoughts affect our actions. Burying your emotions rarely serves you. Allowing yourself to feel your emotions, without judgment, is the very definition of self-awareness.

4. Take a walk

You can’t reflect on yourself when you’re marathoning Netflix or creating the perfect Instagram post. You need to allow time to quietly be with yourself. One way to eliminate distractions is to take a walk. Walking in nature is proven to reduce anxiety and encourage reflection.

5. Write in a journal

Another way to improve self-awareness through reflection is writing in a journal. Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Once you’ve identified those, you can use your journal to set intentions to build upon your strengths and improve your weaknesses.

6. Meditate

Mindfulness practices like meditation, priming and yoga can help you be more present and give you time to reflect. Before you begin, set an intention for what you’d like to think about or discover about yourself. There are always new things to learn.

7. Ask for constructive feedback

To define self-awareness from an external perspective, you’ll need other opinions. Ask trusted friends, family and colleagues how you appear to them. Examine how this constructive criticism makes you feel. If you get a feeling that it “hits close to home,” you’re improving your self-awareness.

8. Feed your mind

Purposely seek out information and perspectives that are different than yours through books, articles and in person. Feeding your mind allows you to compare your own thoughts and feelings to someone else’s, get at the root of your own beliefs and better define self-awareness.

9. Take a test

Personality tests like the DISC Assessment can help you become more self-aware. Do the results contradict with how you view yourself or would you say they’re accurate? Whether you agree or disagree with the results, you’ll get insight into your personality and values.

10. Make it a habit

Many people only begin looking for the answer to the question “What is self-awareness?” when things go wrong or we encounter challenges. But the truth is that self-awareness is a habit, not a one-time goal. We are growing and changing every day, and our self-awareness must change as well.

Hunger will destroy your fear of failure

Fun read - speech Tony Robbins to 22-year olds.

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/career-business/hunger-will-destroy-your-fear-of-failure/

If not, you’ll get comfortable. And life gives us two choices — you either grow, or you die. You climb, or you slide. So sometimes hunger waits to appear until your back is against the wall, when you’re at the very bottom of the well, looking up.

If you’ve got a plan to fall back on, it just means there’s more room to fall.

And that’s the reason why a lot of people have trouble sustaining their passions. They take one step forward and two steps back, until they fall flat and start all over again on something else altogether. They live in a world of stutter-steps and false starts. That’s what passion without hunger will do to you and it means only one thing – you aren’t making the jump, you’re not committing, you’re holding back because you’re afraid to fail and you’ve got a crash pad to fall back on.

When there’s a safety net beneath you – your parents, relatives, a girlfriend or boyfriend, a comfortable hometown, a decent job – there’s tremendous comfort and certainty there. But what looks like an asset can actually lock you up and paralyze you with debilitating inertia. I mean, right now the largest percentage in history – 15% – of people between the age of 25 and 34 live at home with their parents. And that’s not a judgment from me, there is nothing wrong with living at home, but when your mom is stocking the fridge there is no way you’re ever going to get hungry.

There is nothing like necessity to get you through a challenge. But nothing is really necessary until you are chasing your passion. Passion is the only true exigency of action.

So let me ask you something:

What is your passion? What are you really here for?

To be clear, I’m not asking you what you want to be. I’m asking what do you want to create? What are you here to give? What is your gift? What is the one thing you want to do better than anyone else on this planet? What is the one thing you could do every single day and not get sick of? What will you share with the world?

That is your passion. Finding your true passion

The fastest way to find your true passion is to commit to something you have an interest in. Really immerse yourself in the environment, don’t just dabble. Volunteer with your whole heart. Do your homework and model the people who have done it best. Follow them around. Commit every cell in your body to learning and living that life and feel where that focus takes you.

If that doesn’t work, there’s another way…

If you can’t find your career from heaven, just describe your job from hell.

Often times, when I ask people to describe what they would NOT want to do for a living — the kind of people they don’t want to work with, the office they’d hate to be penned up in, the conditions that would make them crazy — that’s when they’re able to paint a very colorful portrait.

It’s surprising to see how much energy can be generated in a person from anger. So, go crazy for five minutes, get it all out and when you’re in that passionate state, that’s when I’d ask you to describe the opposite of everything you just rattled off. And then you’ll have your job from heaven. What does that look like? How does it feel?

That simple technique is sometimes all it takes to trigger the clues you need when you’re feeling blocked.

So once you’ve zeroed in on your passion and you’re hungry to chase it down, what’s next? You must serve something greater than yourself.

The question is never, “What are you going to get?” You got it?

You can get anything you want, but the only way to greatness is to find a way to serve others.

There’s a Bible verse that says, whoever among you wishes to become great, must become a servant of many. That means, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a great, successful leader, but the only way to do that is to become a servant.

Several people who have succeeded on the highest scale interestingly enough didn’t wait until they finished college to start serving others.

They couldn’t wait.

Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Oprah, Ellen, Walt Disney, Ralph Lauren, Wolfgang Puck, John Lennon, Lady Gaga, Abe Lincoln — they didn’t drop out of school because they were lazy. They had already found their passion and they were ready to begin serving others.

They had such hunger they physically could not wait.

There is nothing quite as effective as a sense of urgency to transform the quality of a human being’s life.

The good news is, you are coming of age in an era of accelerated ideation and fast and furious innovation the likes of which the world has never seen.

The bad news is — you should’ve started five years ago!

Can you feel the pressure? Good. Internal pressure is not a bad thing. If you feel nothing but a little fire inside right now, you’ll be no worse for wear. When I speak with great thought leaders and cultural influencers, they all seem to describe this common “feeling” inside of them. It’s a feeling of responsibility, like they must deliver something; a sense of purpose they’re here to serve. It’s not about what life is going to give to them, it’s about what they must bring to bear.

If you’ve been waiting to turn your tassel to the other side of your cap before you start the process of defining what you really want, it’s time to throw a match in your gas tank. You and I are living in a world where people can compete from anywhere on earth and there’s no age requirement to add value to the marketplace. I’ll guarantee you there’s a hungry 17-year-old on a crowdsourced/gig site who is already doing a job that many 22-year-olds are hoping their entry-level résumé just might qualify them for… an interview.

I’m not diminishing the merits of higher education whatsoever; I just want to make something crystal clear. We hear people say all the time that “knowledge is power.” That’s not true. Knowledge is NOT power. Knowledge of concepts is only of POTENTIAL value to you. The execution of the knowledge you’ve gleaned is where your power lies.

So I challenge you to act on what you’ve just learned in college. Don’t let the learning stop. Not now; not ever.

The key distinction that will set you apart from the field is a commitment to mastery.

To truly master a field of study, you’ve got to go deep. These days, most people stay in the shallow end. Everyone seems to know a little about a lot. They dabble. They’ve got all kinds of pins and badges and likes and dislikes. They have hundreds of friends and thousands of followers. They’re comfortable with a level of communication that fits on the screen of cell phone.

Listen to me: That’s not good enough.

When you decide to become a master in the subject area that you are passionate about you’ve got to take massive action. You must be committed to learn everything humanly possible about that subject matter. You need to know it wider and better than anyone else, and most importantly, you have to use that knowledge to serve something greater than yourself.

Motive does matter.

So what’s the hack? Here it is in one word:

Results.

We live in a world where there are no limits for those who can create results. The faster you can use what you’ve learned to execute results, the sooner your GPA — no matter how impressive or abysmal — won’t matter.

There is no replacement for results.

Your ability to deliver useful results to people better than anybody else will determine your success. Meet people’s needs. Add value to their lives through music, or food, finance, literature, art, business — it doesn’t matter what marketplace you enter, you will get paid for results.

Sure, you might get lucky; maybe somebody will cut you a check just because you’ve positioned yourself well, but you won’t be able to sustain long-term success that way.

Delivering results is what changed my life.

When I was 17, and just starting out, I had nothing — I had a desk I made by taking a door off its hinges and flipping it around in a crappy little room in Azusa, California. I took out a telephone and I vowed to make 100 calls a day to people I wanted to do business with. There were no excuses. I tracked my progress. I had nothing if not hunger, and I figured that as long as I stayed connected to my passion and felt that higher sense of purpose I’d get through to somebody.

It was a disaster at first. But I stayed committed to mastery.

People ask, “How long does it take to get good at something?” And my answer is always, “How long do you want it to take?”

I read almost 700 books on human development, psychology, physiology. I wanted to know everything that could possibly change the quality of someone’s life.

I was obsessed.

I myself was trying to make changes in my body, grow my mind, condition my emotions, and elevate my spirit. I started out helping myself, and then my friends, and the more results I produced the more my impact began to expand. All the while I didn’t charge anybody for anything – not one penny – unless I produced results for them.

Before I had a reputation, my only leg to stand on was results. Results built my brand.

As time went on, I found other sectors that I could learn about and serve. I realized that I wanted to do this full-time as my career. But, the only catch was, there was no such career path.

I didn’t know what I was going to do with my passion. I thought, I could write a book — but not many 17-year-olds are on the New York Times bestseller list. I could become a motivational speaker but I hated that idea right off the bat. I was never about pump-up, I was always about strategies. All these years some people that have never met me still think I’m about motivation because I also know how to generate energy and ignite passion — but that’s never been the focus.

Energy is just a bi-product of the right strategy.

For me, my passion is finding the strategy that’s going to get someone who wants to change from where they are now to where they want to be in the shortest period of time.

But the thing is, when I was 22, there was no pathway to that profession. That profession did not exist. There were no search results returned on LinkedIn’s job board for the terms, “Now Hiring: Entry Level Peak Performance Strategist. Competitive base salary, plus commission.”

But here I am. And don’t worry, you don’t have to have big teeth and banana hands to carve your own path. You’ve just got to be able to obsessively articulate exactly what it is you want.

When you know your passion and you’re unwilling to live by somebody else’s rules, you can make your own way.

And don’t misunderstand, this is not about breaking rules, this is about producing results.

Ignore the job description and produce results for somebody, I promise you, you won’t be ignored. People will change the rules for you if you can produce outstanding results.

When I first began to work with people, there was no such thing as life coaching. That was a phrase I coined myself. The only way you could come by this work professionally was as a therapist. You had to go to school, get a traditional degree, take the conventional approach of looking at someone’s problems (which at the time meant therapy once, twice, three, times a week for years, sometimes decades) and that method was something that did not interest me in the slightest. I wanted to help lots of people, different people, business people, athletes, investors, politicians, entrepreneurs, parents, artists, and kids. Not a couple hundred patients a month in an office, but millions of people all over the world.

And I became obsessed with this idea.

Often times, the standard way of doing things is not the only way of doing things, it’s just what people have gotten used to. If you come up with a different way to get people the results they’re looking for, you can do anything you want.

So if you’re 22 years old and reading this today, I know that you’re not satisfied with what you’ve accomplished already. You want to do more, be more, give more. You are in the prime of your youth, don’t wait for a time down the road, a birthday with a zero on it, to look back and realize that you’ve got to do something with yourself.

Commit to turning your Shoulds into Musts right now.

You do anything you want with your life whether or not the avenue exists. Clear the path, pave the road, step up and make it happen.

Discover your passion. Get hungry. Design the life you want to live. With massive action, flexibility, obsessive discipline, and a sense of purpose to serve something outside of yourself, you will develop the ability to consistently produce results, and you will effectively create your own path to greatness.

Finally, when you fall upon frustrating times – and you will – remember the words my mentor told me years ago when I was at my lowest place. He said, “Tony, keep working on yourself, keep improving, strengthening, and keep finding a way to serve more people. If you do that, I promise you — your gifts will make room for you.”

I wish for you an extraordinary life.

Tony

Discover how to live in a state of gratitude and abundance today

Have you ever been to a nice restaurant, had a delicious dinner in a beautiful environment with great service, then received a bill that nearly made you fall out of your seat? How did that change your mood? Did you walk out of the restaurant raving about the experience or lamenting over the bill?

Instead of practicing an abundance mindset, why do we tend to focus on the negative aspects of a situation or experience? Why, in the case of the restaurant, was it easier to hone in on how steep the bill was rather than immerse ourselves in the outstanding food, lovely ambiance or the hospitable service? Because, instead of focusing on gratitude and abundance, the human brain is wired for a single purpose – survival.

The mind is not designed to make you happy, it’s designed to help you survive. It is always looking for what could hurt you, and it magnifies the bad. We are wired to operate out of a place of scarcity and fear. But here’s the thing – you have the choice of what to focus on. You can learn how to develop an abundance mindset. Remember, what’s wrong is always available, but so is what’s right. What is an abundance mindset?

An abundance mindset is the belief that there are enough resources in the world for everyone – and of being grateful for whatever the universe provides. It’s often talked about in contrast with a scarcity mindset, or the belief that the world’s resources are finite – when someone gets something, that leaves less for everyone else.

These two different ways of thinking can shift our entire perspective. People with a scarcity mindset focus on unfulfilled needs: what others have that they don’t. They tend to think short-term and have less fulfilling relationships. People with an abundance mindset focus on what they already have and make peace with the present moment. Because they’re not living in a state of fear, they experience the many benefits of gratitude and can make better decisions and plan for the future. Or as Tony says, “When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.”  Signs you have an abundance mindset

Many people go through life without thinking about their mindset. You may be held back by negativity without even realizing it. If you recognize these signs, you may already be on your way toward an attitude of gratitude and abundance.

You celebrate others’ success. An abundance mindset is the opposite of jealousy and fear. You believe that others’ successes don’t detract from your own and that you will be just as successful. You genuinely celebrate the success of others who achieve their goals. You give back. People in a scarcity mindset are too busy taking to give back. If you volunteer your time, energy or skills, often give away your possessions or enjoy taking care of your loved ones, you’re on your way to having an abundance mindset. You live in the present. When you focus on gratitude and abundance, you’re not worried about the future or stuck in the past. You know that the only thing that’s guaranteed is the present, and you focus on taking it all in.

How to develop an abundance mindset

It’s natural for many people to operate in a scarcity mindset, especially in the corporate world and other competitive environments. But when you learn how to develop an abundance mindset, you’ll open opportunities you never thought possible. Examine your limiting beliefs

Limiting beliefs are unconscious beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world which we allow to prevent us from enjoying our lives to the fullest. For example, if you have an unconscious belief that you do not deserve happiness, understanding how to express gratitude will not come easily, even under the best of circumstances.

As you embrace the process of cultivating gratitude in your life, keep watch for the limiting beliefs you unconsciously hold and examine how they are preventing you from reaching your full potential. Beginning the hard work of replacing your limiting beliefs with an abundance mindset will reveal how your beliefs impact almost every area of life. This is because our beliefs grow from a combination of life experiences: our knowledge base, our environment (past and present), positive and traumatic life events, results of our past actions and how we envision our future. Adopt more empowering beliefs

Because our beliefs are multi-faceted, unravelling their origin can be a challenge. Replacing them with healthier beliefs can be even more difficult. However, if existing beliefs are an impediment to the attitude of gratitude you’re committed to developing, it’ll be well worth your time to put in the effort.

To overcome your self-sabotaging beliefs, put yourself in a positive mindset by making a list of things you’re thankful for. Then practice flipping your limiting beliefs to empowering ones. As you uncover each limiting belief, ask yourself: Does this belief take me further along the pursuit of gratitude, or does this belief hold me back? With practice and diligence, you’ll find that adopting an abundance mindset and attitude of gratitude becomes more natural.

Embrace change

Life will never go as planned. There will always be undesirable surprises. Change is inevitable, and we must learn to embrace change. The potential for transformation is present in every change life throws our way, whether or not we choose to embrace it.

Rather than be derailed by unexpected changes in our lives, we must learn to approach change with curiosity. Begin practicing an attitude of gratitude by “softening” to change, letting it in without a fight. Rather than telling yourself that you have either lost something, have less of something or will never have what it is you want, make the command decision to focus on adopting an abundance mindset and focusing on what you can be grateful for. By learning how to express gratitude under difficult circumstances, you build an abundance mindset into everything you do.

So what is an abundance mindset, after all? It doesn’t mean you are repressing your emotions or living in a state of denial. It means you are making the overarching decision to live in a beautiful state every single day, no matter what happens. Because if the only time you are happy is when things are going your way, you’re not going to be happy very often. And the more you start to make these subtle shifts, the more you can cultivate an abundance mindset, the more you will begin to experience joy – and, eventually, create a new emotional home.

How to benefit from positive thinking

Positive thinking is everywhere: Manifestation, vision boards and phrases like “No bad days” abound, and it seems that everyone on the planet wants to learn how to think positive. But what does it really mean to think positive? And can positive thinking alone help you realize your dreams?

It is true that your thoughts affect your actions. Your actions, in turn, translate into whether or not you succeed – in your career, relationships and life. Your thoughts also play a part in your values and beliefs, which influence the quality of your personal relationships and how you view the world at large.

It’s essential that we don’t get caught up in only thinking positively. You can sit in the garden of your mind telling yourself there are no weeds, but to build a truly fulfilling life, you need to stop covering up the weeds with positive thinking – and pick them instead. You need to get to the root of what’s holding you back and cultivate an overall positive mindset that doesn’t ignore negative emotions, but knows how to control them.

What is positive thinking?

Positive thinking is an emotional and mental attitude that focuses on the good and expects results that will benefit you. It’s about anticipating happiness, health and success instead of expecting the worst. Leveraging the law of attraction, this mindset creates a positive feedback loop that brings even more good into your life.

So what is positive thinking not? It is not a cure-all that will automatically make you happier and more fulfilled. It isn’t a solution to deep-seated limiting beliefs like fear of failure and fear of success. And it doesn’t mean sitting around all day telling yourself you’re happy. To achieve your dreams, you’ll need more than a positive mindset. You’ll need to act.

Don’t just think positive – overcome your limiting beliefs and transform your entire mindset.

How to benefit from positive thinking

Ultimately, building a fulfilling life is about mastering your emotions, both positive and negative. Positive thinking is one tool in your toolkit, but there are others you’ll need. Here are six ways to fully embrace not only the power of positive thinking but also the incredible power of your mindset.

1. Empower yourself

You didn’t get the promotion you worked so hard for. You’ve been let go from your job. Your partner broke up with you. You have chronic health issues that hold you back. These are all difficult situations that many of us will face at some point in our lives. The real question is: How will you react to them?

Do you blame others when bad things happen to you? Or do you look to yourself for the solution? When you take responsibility for how you think, act and feel, you have an internal locus of control – and that’s a key trait of successful people. This type of thinking lends you a deep belief in yourself and a positive mindset that allows you to get up and start over after a failure. From there, everything else in your life can fall into place.

Remember: The only thing in life you can control is yourself. You can’t control every event – but you can control how you react to them. Once you empower yourself to change what’s in your control – you – only then are you ready for the power of positive thinking.

2. Take control of your state

Have you noticed that when you’re having a bad day, your body language shows it? You slump over in your chair, you have a hard time making eye contact with others and do things like cross your arms when you’re feeling uncomfortable. You stop being mindful and allow your environment and circumstances to control you. This is not a powerful stance. Your body tells those around you that you are uneasy, angry or sad and want to be left alone. This creates a feedback loop as your poor posture reinforces your poor mindset.

Positive thinking is as much about your body as it is about your brain. Take control of your physiology by taking pride in how you present yourself. Work on your posture to give those around you nonverbal cues that you are feeling strong and positive, and are ready to listen to them. Stop nervous habits like fidgeting or twirling your hair. This technique requires you to observe yourself; as soon as you catch yourself giving in to a nervous tic or starting to slump, straighten up. As you hold your body in a power pose, a more positive mindset will naturally follow.

Those around you will pick up on the physiological signals you’re sending and will respond with positivity. The more you portray positivity and others see you this way, the easier positive thinking becomes, creating a new feedback loop. You will then be able to focus on others and do things such as asking three vital questions to find out how you can give to the world and others.

3. Adjust your mindset

Adjusting your physiology is only one part of the puzzle; it’s critical to catch the other negativity trigger in its opening stages as well. Your mindset governs what thoughts flow through your head and how you feel and react to each one. If your mindset is poor, everything around you is going to seem all the worse.

For example, you’re at the airport and are unnecessarily delayed while going through security. Then the airline attendant checking you in is rude to you. Another airline worker overhears, apologizes and bumps your ticket up to business class.

Once you’re in the air, are you fixated on the hassles you faced in the airport, or are you grateful for your spacious seat and free cocktail? Do you think of the delay as wasted time or as a way to take time and reconnect with yourself? Do you automatically revert to the power of positive thinking or do negative thoughts take over?

You can choose to focus on the negatives or the positives of this – and any – scenario, but if you choose to focus on what’s bothering you, it will begin to negatively impact your life. You’ll also attract more negative situations – people won’t be friendly to you when you’re scowling and hostile. You may punish your partner or others for not living up to your expectations, eroding your relationships and adding to more bitterness. You’ll forget that you can empower yourself to tackle any situation and start believing that a positive mindset is out of your reach.

Positive thinking bypasses that rage and inconvenience, allowing you to enjoy the moment and be fully present. By consciously choosing to focus on positive moments in your life, you’ll begin to reframe your thoughts, cultivating an abundance mindset that is grateful and open rather than negative and closed off.

4. Study your habits and form new ones

You can’t form new habits and harness the power of positive thinking if you’re unaware of your current ones. Are there things that set you into a negative spiral of self-doubt? Do you react to situations openly or do you utilize defense mechanisms? If so, what are they?

Perhaps you become agitated whenever you start thinking about going after a promotion at work. Your thoughts take you to a dark place and positive thinking goes out the window. You calculate how long you’ve been with the company and start thinking about why you haven’t been promoted already. Do your bosses know something you don’t? Maybe they don’t think you’re capable of doing the job. You begin to question your skill set, and then you wonder if you’ll ever move up in your field. Maybe you’ll just quit.

Think of all the time you’re wasting by falling back on this negative habit. Self-doubt is almost always rooted in fear – often the fear of failure. Doing something and failing seems like it would be unbearable, so your mind comes up with all sorts of reasons as to why you won’t even make an effort. If you give in to these negative thoughts, you might not fail but you will stagnate, which is worse. As Tony says, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.” If you fail, at least you can learn something. If you stagnate, you won’t.

What if, instead of getting swept up in a pattern of negative thoughts, you refocused your energy and developed empowering habits that use positive thinking? Stop the spiral of doubt by blocking it with positive thoughts. If you’re able to cut off a negative thought pattern before it gets out of hand, you can shift to recalling positive affirmations instead.

By training your mind to block negative thoughts with positive thinking, you’re steadily training yourself to stop thinking in a negative way. Fear won’t rule you anymore. That’s the power of positive thinking.

5. Choose your words carefully

One habit that is essential to positive thinking is to transform your vocabulary. The words you choose – both in conversation and in your own mind – have a deep impact on your mindset. Studies have found that positive self-talk improves psychological states, helps people regulate their emotions and more. Your conversation affects how others respond to you, again creating a feedback loop that can be either positive or negative.

Before you can choose different words, you need to recognize what words you’re already using. Take note of how you label and describe things in conversation, particularly your own emotions. Are you really “terrified” of that big work presentation or just a little nervous? Are you truly “angry” at your partner or mildly annoyed at one of their bad habits? When you dial back your vocabulary and use words that are less emotionally loaded, you’ll find your mindset becomes attuned to more positive thinking.

Many people find it helpful to write down negative words they find themselves using throughout the day. For every negative word, write a positive alternative next to it. Keep the alternatives in the back of your mind to use next time. Find this aspect of positive thinking overwhelming? Start with just one area of your life that causes negative thoughts, like work or your relationship status. Catch yourself in those moments, and build from there.

6. Identify those you admire

Think of someone who’s had a profound impact on your life. It can be a close friend, family member or someone you’ve never met, like a celebrity, professional athlete or renowned entrepreneur. What mottos does that person live by? Have they been able to unlock extraordinary lives due to their positive thinking habits?

Chances are, they use the power of positive thinking to find the success they seek – and you can, too. When you feel yourself falling into negative habits and can’t quite seem to figure out how to think positive, pull up a quotation from someone you respect. Read it and determine how you can best embody it. You can even write it down and post it somewhere you’ll see it often, such as the refrigerator or on the side of your computer screen.

The person you admire doesn’t have to be famous. The story of Jay and Fariha is a real-life example of how positive thinking can be contagious to our friends and loved ones. One of the first things Fariha noticed about Jay was his positivity – the “kick in his step.” Jay was cultivating positive emotions on a daily basis thanks to Tony’s philosophies. He shared those philosophies with Fariha and both attended Unleash the Power Within, where Fariha learned vital strategies she could use to change her mindset and start living the life of her dreams.

If you have someone you think of as a mentor, even better. Get on the phone and ask them to share some positive thoughts. Tony often quotes his own mentor, Jim Rohn, when he says, “Every day, stand guard at the door of your mind, and you alone decide what thoughts and beliefs you let into your life.” Will you give in to the temptation to think negatively and stagnate – and then blame others when you don’t reach your goals? Or will you guard your mind and only allow in positive thinking that propels you toward the life you dream of? It’s up to you.

Positive thinking FAQs Can positive thinking change your life?

Yes, positive thinking can change your life. Studies have found that positive thinking helps you live longer, reduces loneliness and more. But the most life-changing effect of positive thinking has to do with the law of attraction. This is the idea that what you focus on, you attract. As Tony says, “Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life.” When you focus on the negative, you’ll experience more negatives. But when you focus on the positive, the whole world opens up to you.

How do you train your mind to think positive?

The first step to training your mind for positive thinking is to identify your bad habits and negative thought patterns. Once you’ve recognized these, you can replace them with positive habits and words that aren’t as emotionally charged. If you find yourself spiraling into a thought pattern of worry and anxiety, ask yourself: What is this emotion really telling me? What am I really afraid of? Then make an action plan to overcome that fear.

How do you keep your mind positive?

Keeping your mind positive is a series of actions you take every day. It doesn’t always come easily, but experiencing the power of positive thinking in your life is worth it. One significant habit is to start your day with priming, meditation or affirmations. Your morning ritual sets the tone for your day and puts you in the right mindset to take on all your tasks with positivity.

1. You really don’t want to be famous. Read the biography of any famous person.

2. It is all about pattern recognition. Learn the ability to identify patterns, learn how they interact. Learn how to think. Become more conscious of patterns and chose how to interact with them.

3. How great are you when no one is watching? Align with who you are! Life wants you to win. Close your integrity gap by being authentic: success comes from being true to yourself. Integrity is all, be honest!

4. The way of complementary opposites. Not 0 or 1, but both 0 and 1 and all in between (probability). Learn how to navigate complexity.

5. Eliminating clutter makes room for your true treasures. Simplify.

6. Experience is overrated. When hiring, hire for aptitude, and train for skills. Most amazing things are done by people doing them for the first time.

7. Stay on purpose, not on rewards. Example of the student and martial artist: if I train, when master? 10 years? What, so long? What if I train twice as hard? 20 years? What? How is that possible? Master: with one eye on the rewards, you only have one eye on your purpose.

8. Identify yourself with your mantras, not materials.

Minimize limiting beliefs: find them (listen carefully, “I cn’t, I’m not, I don’t & find their origin and name them), get to the facts, and create new beliefs. You can learn to be, do, have and share with no constraints. I wrote this book to prove this to you. If you are not learning or living at your full potential, if there is a gap between your current reality and your desired reality, here’s the reason: There is a limit that must be released and replaced in one of three areas:

• A limit in your Mindset – you entertain a low belief in yourself, your capabilities, what you deserve, or what is possible. Mindset (the WHAT): deeply held beliefs, attitudes, and assumptions we create about who we are, how the world works, what we are capable of and deserve, and what is possible.

• A limit in your Motivation – you lack the drive, purpose, or energy to take action. Motivation (the WHY): the purpose one has for taking action. The energy required for someone to behave in a particular way.

• A limit in your Methods – you were taught and are acting on a process that is not effective to create the results you desire. Method (the HOW): a specific process for accomplishing something, especially in an orderly, logical, or systemic way of instruction.

Reframing limiting beliefs

They are all in your head, the tiny whispers. Pay good attention, in order to move from thermostat to thermometer, from passive to proactive.

1. Key 1: name your limiting beliefs. Search them everywhere, for example in my talents, character, relationships, education, or anything else that leads to internal whispers that you can’t be what you want to be. Write them down, even if you think that particular thing might not be consequential in your life. Focus on the “Ik kan niet, ik ben geen, ik hou niet van, ik doe geen, “ Probeer de origine te achterhalen van dit soort self-talk. Vaak zijn de limiting beliefs al gestart in je jeugd. Liberating (!!) These aren’t facts about me, these are opinions! There is a very good chance those opinions are wrong. When you have found your limiting beliefs, start talking back to them with positivism. Ook al kon je dat in het verleden misschien niet zo goed, dat betekent niet dat je er niet goed in kan worden of dat je dit misschien al bent. LIFE HAS NO LIMITATIONS, EXCEPT THE ONES YOU MAKE

2. Key 2: get to the facts. Limited Idea Entertained = LIE. Zeer waarschijnlijk zijn je limiting beliefs niet juist. Ze blijven zo goed beklijven omdat ze gelinkt zijn aan je emoties. Face down and quiet your beliefs. The better you are at this, the better you’ll be at keeping down distractions during your biggest growth challenges. Visualise that I’m an open and empty vessel, ready to be filled with value. Just as I was a child. Je goede beliefs systems, je goede BS, zijn wel juist: die heb je namelijk continue geoefend en gebattletest. Kunnen zeker beter (!). Befriend my 7-tailed fox, it is a magnificent beast and very powerful ally. Fear is like encountering a tiger, you initially whish to run. THE TIGER IS ONLY IN YOUR HEAD, befriend the tiger: befriend the seven-nine tailed fox.

3. Key 3: create a new belief. If you analyzed the BS, like heey this tiger is not so bad, you can determine your next steps and plan them in your agenda to practice or create alternative standard responses / actions. Although you might have flawed in the past, these newly learned skills will be added and you can keep increasing, learning and become better. It is not a tiger, it is a 7-9 tailed fox.

Environment Free yourself from the story that you are a product of your environment. Malala, Oprah, and Nelson Mandela decided that their environments did not dictate who they were or what they would believe. While circumstances may be difficult at times, each of you has the power to choose what you believe in order to become the “captain of your soul.”

Events The day you got married. The birth of your child. That big promotion. The death of a loved one. Even terrorist attacks. Events impact our lives profoundly causing us to form beliefs, often unconsciously, which affect our entire worldview. Can you think of an event that has impacted you in a positive or negative way?

Knowledge Knowledge is not power. Knowledge is potential power. Applied knowledge is a dynamic tool in knocking down the walls of limiting beliefs. Become a life-long learner, and seek out knowledge with laser focus. Put yourself in proximity with people who know more than you do. Proximity is power! Model the best and learn from their experience and you can create the beliefs that will compel you to succeed.

Past Results We all create beliefs around the results of past achievements or failures. But past results do not equal future results. Build certainty and confidence by building on successes, even small ones. Stack positive results in order to believe you can achieve what you set out to do.

Future Vision  Just as past experiences impact your beliefs about what is possible, so does your imagined experience of the future. It is absolutely essential that you create a compelling future. No one else can do this for you. Prime yourself for success by first taking a few minutes to visualize your success. Then make it compelling by writing down the reasons you MUST make it that way. Imagine the way you will feel if that is your future. Finally anchor this in your body by standing up and celebrating!

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mind-meaning/do-your-beliefs-limit-you/

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mind-meaning/empowering-beliefs/

30% Dynamo genius: those who express their genius through creativity and ideas. 20% Blaze genius: those whose genius becomes clear through their interaction with others. 45% Tempo genius: those whose genius expresses itself through their ability to see the big picture and stay the course 5% Steel genius: those who are brilliant at sweating the small stuff and doing something with the details that other missed or couldn’t envision.

Separate thinking into six distinctly defined functions by progressively donning a series of metaphorical hats.

• white hat: information gathering mode. At this point, your focus is on collecting details and getting all the facts you’ll need to address whatever issue you’re trying to address. To help you remember this, think of a white lab coat.

• yellow hat: optimism in thinking. Here, you’re trying to identify the positives in any problem or challenge you’re facing, highlighting the value inherently in place. As your memory tip here, think of the yellow sun.

• black hat: to pivot from looking at the good side of the challenge to facing its difficulties and pitfalls. This is where you’ll come face to face with the consequences of failing to successful address a problem. Memory tip: think about a judge’s robe.

• red hat: emotion comes into play. This is the point where you can let your feelings about the problem come to the surface, and maybe even express fears. This is also where you can allow speculation and intuition to enter into the conversation. To remember this, think about a red heart.

• green hat: creativity mode. What new ideas can you bring to what you already know about the problem? How can you come at it in a way you haven’t considered before? Memory tip: think about green grass.

• Blue hat: management mode. It makes sure you’ve addressed your agenda productively, and gone through the process in a way that benefits from all the other hats you’ve worn. Often, organizations will start with the blue hat to set goals for a meeting and then put it on again at the end. Even if you’re using the six hats by yourself, this is something you might want to consider. To remember this, think about blue skies.

At its core, it is a neatly defined way of looking at an issue from all sides.

1. You make sure you’re clear on what you need to address.

2. Then, you determine that you have all the facts in front of you.

3. Next, you make sure you’re dealing with the issue with a positive perspective.

4. Then, you get real about the challenges you’re facing and allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling about it.

5. After this, you allow yourself to attack the problem from perspectives you might have considered before. Let your imagination run free.

6. Circle back to make sure you’ve addressed what you set out to address during this session.

It’s not about thinking outside the box, it is about thinking in a completely different box. Naveen Jain. Incremental = make it better (10%), exponential = do things differently (10x). It looks like:Step 1: get to the underlying root cause of a problem (Einstein: 95% time spending on problem). Example water and drought: not looking at relocating fresh water, but spend time on agriculture draining fresh water. FOCUS ON ROOT AND CORE, NOT THE BRANCHES AND LEAVES. What is the underlying problem of the problem? step 2: posit a new approach. Fill your thoughts with ‘what-if’ statements. What if we could no longer touch things with our hands to interact or what if the world was 90% flooded? Whole different way. What if there were only 18 hours in a day instead of 24? step 3: read about it. Or discuss? step 4: extrapolate. Try out scenarios.

• First, get clear on what did or didn’t happen. Often, we confuse cause with correlation, so be sure you understand what happened and what led to the mistake or error. • Next, ask yourself why those mistakes happened. Look for the deeper layers behind the incident. You might ask “why” until you’ve run out of layers to question. • Then ask how you can best avoid the same mistakes in the future. If some of the factors that caused the error are out of your control, ask how you can prevent causes that can’t be eliminated. • Finally, using what you’ve gleaned from this exercise, determine how you can create the best conditions to support your desired outcomes in the future.

Peter Thiel destroying Gawker story. • Always ask yourself “and then what?” • Think in increments of time. What do the consequences look like in five days? Five months? Five years? • Draw out the possible courses of action you might take using columns to organize consequences. This might allow you to see what others can’t see.

1. Analyze and feel possible answers to the question: “How else can I use my brain”? I can use it to learn how to knead, collect a lot of information and make it applicable, expand skill set around strategy, planning. See it as a universem within, a big black hole that sponges everything up and applies it in my actions, which brings my life closer to my purpose: helping others by bringing magic into the world.

2. Think of a problem that need to be solved right now. It can be anything from ‘how can I get that job’ to ‘how can I communicate better with my family’? Use the six thinking hats model to run through the different perspectives of looking at the problem you’re trying to solve.

3. Create your not-to-do list (easy list with minor hits in regular life, like no more SM) and a specific not to do list.

4. Have I found my meaning? The ultimate purpose of life is a life of purpose. The most noble thing that you can do is to discover your purpose. We all have a calling, and it is our number one duty to discover what that purpose is all about. We all have a special genius, flip on the mind-switch. Two simple steps: find your Darma, your daily purpose and step 2: take single-minded daily action to fulfil this purpose. Singularity of purpose. Find out what you were meant to do and then have the courage to do it. The happiest moment in your life is the moment you discover your Darma. Knowing your purpose is like having a personal lighthouse. Your Darma is your anchor, it gives the courage to stop your fire from spreading into 100 directions. When you are on purpose, you get off chaos. “Be ashamed to die, unless you have scored a victory for man-kind.”

5. Train your mind to keep your cup empty. Visualise you as an empty cup.

6. DO THE FIVE TIMELESS TECHNIQUES (!) Identify yourself with your mantra’s, not materials. Best moments to program your mind is just before you wake up or just before you go to bed, when your mind is most receptive. You change your mind to mantra’s instead of mental clutter that usually is in your head. How to apply mantra’s? • Use in present tense (I am xxxx) • Say mantra’s out loud (softly under your breath) • Write down your affirmations on paper • Make them rime or bring in a rhythm (‘I’m a lean, keen, high-performing machine’). • You can also use quotes

7. Create a death bed mentality (!!) What if I die tomorrow? Start living every day as if it is your last: ask yourself in the beginning of the day to get yourself focused: what would I do today if this day was my last? In your minds eye, see yourself acting as if it was your last day.