You see, it happened slowly. When I realized I no longer love you, that I no longer look forward to our chaotic evenings under the tree, that I no longer have a thumping heart at the sound of your lyrical voice.

I guess it started on the eve of my birthday, that unfortunate night that will forever be etched in the deepest part of my soul.

I pretended to be asleep when you came home, I didn't want to spoil the surprise you had for me, I didn't want to see my pink bicycle yet nor the two-tiered cake I begged for. I wanted it all to be perfect, I wanted to be able to recall every moment of oohs and ahhs to Hilda, my best friend, later.

I controlled every urge I had to even peep a little, I remember lying on my bed breathless and motionless when you came in to give me a goodnight kiss. Your beards tickled me and I almost gave up the pretense to shout “I got you!” while laughing recklessly, but I somehow held the laughter in. I really, truly wanted a perfect surprise birthday, not even I was going to spoil it.

After you left my room I listened to the sound of your footsteps as it went into Folahan’s room, I was glad to learn that he was also asleep and his boast of seeing my birthday presents before me was nil.

I tried to sleep, I really did but I was too excited and my energy just refused to dwindle down. I was doing all kinds of acrobatics in my head, I was rehearsing my dance steps and how I would lather you with kisses all over your face just like you love, how I would tell you over and over again that you're simply the best. I remember I closed my eyes twice and counted to a hundred in my head just so I could sleep but it just wasn't working.

Finally, I gave up. I told myself I will just take a small peek at the cake and leave. I crept quietly out of my room and followed the sound of mum's laughter into the kitchen. From my kneeling position by the door I saw you taking a bottle of water from the fridge, mum's back was turned to you, she was by the sink stacking plates that would be used tomorrow to serve my guests.

I debated over waiting for you both to leave the kitchen before I came in to check on my cake, but you were taking so long drinking your water—it was probably minutes but it felt like an hour to my impatient self. I later decided to check in on my present that I knew you probably left in your study room. I left you both talking about your day and mum telling you how I've been over excited throughout the day.

I smiled to myself as I walked gently towards the study room, but the sound of a broken plate stopped me in my tracks. This sound felt strange in this house, it sounded like an unwelcome guest. Surely it can't be happening again.

Slowly and gently, I turned back and retraced my steps back to the kitchen doorway. You were still by the fridge but on your knees picking up the broken plate and mum seemed to be laughing at you from where she stood. I stood there confused for some seconds but then you stood up, put the broken plate in the trash can by the counter and then you said, “Okay, let's do that again, no cheating this time.”

She laughed, picked up a plate and threw it towards you. I gasped and I wondered how you didn't hear me make that sound, but you smartly caught the plate midair and put it on an already stacked plate I hadn't noticed before on the counter. I sighed, realizing you both are playing your game of throw and catch again.

“Now who's the boss?” You asked mum laughing while moving towards her. I smiled to myself, deciding I've had enough for the night, I made a turn to leave but that was when it happened—or rather, started happening. The moment I begin to stop loving you.

One minute both of you were laughing and the next minute you both seemed to pound on each other, your mouths came together in a gnashing of teeth and you were both making an ugly sound. You tore the top of mum's cotton gown, muttering rubbish. You said I miss you repeatedly while feasting on her neck. One of your hands was squeezing her breast while the other was holding her neck in place.

I stood there, rooted to the spot but I had been transported to another kitchen, on another cool night a few years back. I had watched as daddy laid mum on the counter, as he swiped with one hand the plates on it. Mum was fighting him and crying, she kept saying she's tired but daddy's chants of “I miss you” covered her pleas.

This had been happening frequently but that was the first time I would see it happening. It was always happening in their room late at night and then mum trying to hide a bruise with her hair the next day.

“Take more, Remi.”

These words spoken by you in a feverish voice brought me back to the present. Sick to my stomach, I quietly left for my room. Just like I had left those years ago. But it's different this time around because there's no one I could tell. No one to save my mum from you, you were once my hero. You were the one I talked to those years ago when you kept asking me what was wrong. You were the one that saved my mum from my dad.

You are my daddy's brother and you promised to never hurt my mum, you promised me I and my baby brother and mum would be safe with you.

I was ten when I slowly stopped loving you.

…

Yinka and Remi looked at each other after reading the note their thirteen year old daughter, Fimihan, handed to them before she left for boarding school.

They'd hounded her for weeks, Yinka especially. Telling her they wouldn't allow her to go to the boarding school she had been asking for unless she told them what happened to her.

They'd begged, used bribes, and finally threatened to not allow her join her best friend, Hilda, in boarding school until she finally caved in, telling them she would give them a note on the day they drop her off in school.

The note slipped out of Yinka’s hand as he broke down into shattering sobs. Remi looked away from him and wept quietly into one of the scattered pillows on the couch.

You see, it happened slowly. When I realized I no longer love you, that I no longer look forward to our chaotic evenings under the tree, that I no longer have a thumping heart at the sound of your lyrical voice.

I guess it started on the eve of my birthday, that unfortunate night that will forever be etched in the deepest part of my soul.

I pretended to be asleep when you came home, I didn't want to spoil the surprise you had for me, I didn't want to see my pink bicycle yet nor the two-tiered cake I begged for. I wanted it all to be perfect, I wanted to be able to recall every moment of oohs and ahhs to Hilda, my best friend, later.

I controlled every urge I had to even peep a little, I remember lying on my bed breathless and motionless when you came in to give me a goodnight kiss. Your beards tickled me and I almost gave up the pretense to shout “I got you!” while laughing recklessly, but I somehow held the laughter in. I really, truly wanted a perfect surprise birthday, not even I was going to spoil it.

After you left my room I listened to the sound of your footsteps as it went into Folahan’s room, I was glad to learn that he was also asleep and his boast of seeing my birthday presents before me was nil.

I tried to sleep, I really did but I was too excited and my energy just refused to dwindle down. I was doing all kinds of acrobatics in my head, I was rehearsing my dance steps and how I would lather you with kisses all over your face just like you love, how I would tell you over and over again that you're simply the best. I remember I closed my eyes twice and counted to a hundred in my head just so I could sleep but it just wasn't working.

Finally, I gave up. I told myself I will just take a small peek at the cake and leave. I crept quietly out of my room and followed the sound of mum's laughter into the kitchen. From my kneeling position by the door I saw you taking a bottle of water from the fridge, mum's back was turned to you, she was by the sink stacking plates that would be used tomorrow to serve my guests.

I debated over waiting for you both to leave the kitchen before I came in to check on my cake, but you were taking so long drinking your water—it was probably minutes but it felt like an hour to my impatient self. I later decided to check in on my present that I knew you probably left in your study room. I left you both talking about your day and mum telling you how I've been over excited throughout the day.

I smiled to myself as I walked gently towards the study room, but the sound of a broken plate stopped me in my tracks. This sound felt strange in this house, it sounded like an unwelcome guest. Surely it can't be happening again.

Slowly and gently, I turned back and retraced my steps back to the kitchen doorway. You were still by the fridge but on your knees picking up the broken plate and mum seemed to be laughing at you from where she stood. I stood there confused for some seconds but then you stood up, put the broken plate in the trash can by the counter and then you said, “Okay, let's do that again, no cheating this time.”

She laughed, picked up a plate and threw it towards you. I gasped and I wondered how you didn't hear me make that sound, but you smartly caught the plate midair and put it on an already stacked plate I hadn't noticed before on the counter. I sighed, realizing you both are playing your game of throw and catch again.

“Now who's the boss?” You asked mum laughing while moving towards her. I smiled to myself, deciding I've had enough for the night, I made a turn to leave but that was when it happened—or rather, started happening. The moment I begin to stop loving you.

One minute both of you were laughing and the next minute you both seemed to pound on each other, your mouths came together in a gnashing of teeth and you were both making an ugly sound. You tore the top of mum's cotton gown, muttering rubbish. You said I miss you repeatedly while feasting on her neck. One of your hands was squeezing her breast while the other was holding her neck in place.

I stood there, rooted to the spot but I had been transported to another kitchen, on another cool night a few years back. I had watched as daddy laid mum on the counter, as he swiped with one hand the plates on it. Mum was fighting him and crying, she kept saying she's tired but daddy's chants of “I miss you” covered her pleas.

This had been happening frequently but that was the first time I would see it happening. It was always happening in their room late at night and then mum trying to hide a bruise with her hair the next day.

“Take more, Remi.”

These words spoken by you in a feverish voice brought me back to the present. Sick to my stomach, I quietly left for my room. Just like I had left those years ago. But it's different this time around because there's no one I could tell. No one to save my mum from you, you were once my hero. You were the one I talked to those years ago when you kept asking me what was wrong. You were the one that saved my mum from my dad.

You are my daddy's brother and you promised to never hurt my mum, you promised me I and my baby brother and mum would be safe with you.

I was ten when I slowly stopped loving you.

…

Yinka and Remi looked at each other after reading the note their thirteen year old daughter, Fimihan, handed to them before she left for boarding school.

They'd hounded her for weeks, Yinka especially. Telling her they wouldn't allow her to go to the boarding school she had been asking for unless she told them what happened to her.

They'd begged, used bribes, and finally threatened to not allow her join her best friend, Hilda, in boarding school until she finally caved in, telling them she would give them a note on the day they drop her off in school.

The note slipped out of Yinka’s hand as he broke down into shattering sobs. Remi looked away from him and wept quietly into one of the scattered pillows on the couch.