Corporate HereticYou Can't Automate What You Can't Do Manually
You can’t automate what you can’t do manually. Let me say that again for the folks in the back (and the digital transformation department): You can’t automate what you can’t do manually. I’ve been working in automation for decades. I started in the late ’90s, integrating controls on CNC machines. Since then, I’ve been automating everything I can get my hands on—processes, machines, systems, workflows, you name it. And, now I know this: Automation isn’t scary. It’s not mysterious. It’s just tu...
Corporate HereticInterview Magic
Introducing the latest addition to your job search toolkit: The Interview Magic Kit™ Now with Real Smoke & Mirrors! Perfect for dazzling hiring managers and distracting from the terrifying fact that you’re a real person. These days, prepping for an interview feels less like getting ready to talk about your experience… and more like gearing up for a residency on the Vegas strip. “Top” career coaches will tell you: rehearse your answers, choreograph your body language, master your script, and n...
Corporate HereticStupid Questions
As I slog through the job search like an Ice Age animal sinking slowly into the La Brea Tar Pits (shoutout to the George C. Page Museum—love that place), there’s one thing that’s been really getting under my skin: The “filter” questions. You know the ones. “Do you have 7+ years of experience with [Insert oddly specific platform here]?” “How many years of experience do you have in the Custom Colored Hot Dog Bun Industry™?” Sure. You’re trying to weed out candidates so your Talent Acquisition T...
Corporate Heretic is a brutally honest, dry-humored critique of modern work culture, calling out performative leadership, empty professionalism, and the everyday absurdities of the workplace with clarity, sarcasm, and zero buzzwords.
Corporate HereticYou Can't Automate What You Can't Do Manually
You can’t automate what you can’t do manually. Let me say that again for the folks in the back (and the digital transformation department): You can’t automate what you can’t do manually. I’ve been working in automation for decades. I started in the late ’90s, integrating controls on CNC machines. Since then, I’ve been automating everything I can get my hands on—processes, machines, systems, workflows, you name it. And, now I know this: Automation isn’t scary. It’s not mysterious. It’s just tu...
Corporate HereticInterview Magic
Introducing the latest addition to your job search toolkit: The Interview Magic Kit™ Now with Real Smoke & Mirrors! Perfect for dazzling hiring managers and distracting from the terrifying fact that you’re a real person. These days, prepping for an interview feels less like getting ready to talk about your experience… and more like gearing up for a residency on the Vegas strip. “Top” career coaches will tell you: rehearse your answers, choreograph your body language, master your script, and n...
Corporate HereticStupid Questions
As I slog through the job search like an Ice Age animal sinking slowly into the La Brea Tar Pits (shoutout to the George C. Page Museum—love that place), there’s one thing that’s been really getting under my skin: The “filter” questions. You know the ones. “Do you have 7+ years of experience with [Insert oddly specific platform here]?” “How many years of experience do you have in the Custom Colored Hot Dog Bun Industry™?” Sure. You’re trying to weed out candidates so your Talent Acquisition T...
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Corporate Heretic is a brutally honest, dry-humored critique of modern work culture, calling out performative leadership, empty professionalism, and the everyday absurdities of the workplace with clarity, sarcasm, and zero buzzwords.
New from Play-Clay: Fit the Job!
Includes everything you need to flatten your soul into a mold you didn’t design. Just load your personality into the lever-activated “JOB DESCRIPTION” press, smash it flat, and try not to mix the colors.
Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time reading job postings—because I’m looking for one. And after a few hundred of them, a theme emerges:
A lot of job descriptions read like they were generated by a malfunctioning buzzword generator hooked up to a blender full of LinkedIn posts and corporate PowerPoints.
You know the ones:
Must be a “ninja” with 7 years of experience using a framework invented last Thursday
Must thrive in fast-paced environments (translation: everything is broken)
Must be detail-oriented, but also a visionary, but also able to take direction, but also lead, but also work independently, but also collaborate constantly, but also, but also, but also...
We ask people to cram themselves into shapes that don’t make sense.
Then we act surprised when the fit feels off.
Maybe it’s time we try something different.
We could write job descriptions for actual humans. Ask for less of the hyper-specific, memorized trivia, and more of the real stuff:
Curiosity
Adaptability
Collaboration
A solid grasp of fundamentals
Because let’s be honest: most things that are ultra-specific today can be Googled in ten seconds or solved with help from a machine that’s terrifyingly good at autocomplete.
Maybe we start hiring humans. Maybe we start describing actual jobs.
And maybe—just maybe—let’s stop trying to smash people into molds.
Until then, I’ll be over here trying to sculpt myself into a “rockstar hybrid innovator change agent (entry level, PhD required).”
New from Play-Clay: Fit the Job!
Includes everything you need to flatten your soul into a mold you didn’t design. Just load your personality into the lever-activated “JOB DESCRIPTION” press, smash it flat, and try not to mix the colors.
Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time reading job postings—because I’m looking for one. And after a few hundred of them, a theme emerges:
A lot of job descriptions read like they were generated by a malfunctioning buzzword generator hooked up to a blender full of LinkedIn posts and corporate PowerPoints.
You know the ones:
Must be a “ninja” with 7 years of experience using a framework invented last Thursday
Must thrive in fast-paced environments (translation: everything is broken)
Must be detail-oriented, but also a visionary, but also able to take direction, but also lead, but also work independently, but also collaborate constantly, but also, but also, but also...
We ask people to cram themselves into shapes that don’t make sense.
Then we act surprised when the fit feels off.
Maybe it’s time we try something different.
We could write job descriptions for actual humans. Ask for less of the hyper-specific, memorized trivia, and more of the real stuff:
Curiosity
Adaptability
Collaboration
A solid grasp of fundamentals
Because let’s be honest: most things that are ultra-specific today can be Googled in ten seconds or solved with help from a machine that’s terrifyingly good at autocomplete.
Maybe we start hiring humans. Maybe we start describing actual jobs.
And maybe—just maybe—let’s stop trying to smash people into molds.
Until then, I’ll be over here trying to sculpt myself into a “rockstar hybrid innovator change agent (entry level, PhD required).”
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Gabriel Perez
Gabriel Perez
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