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Dec 13

The Future Potential

Imagine you’re in the year 2125. You are born in a laboratory. You don’t have parents. The word parent does not exist. All children are created by the state. They live for the first 18 years being programmed every day on what is acceptable and what is not. They are fed medicine that alters their brain chemistry and makes them lose touch with reality. Make them feel numb. They accept the feeling of numbness as the only reality there is. All people belong to the state. The state is run by super...

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Suluošintas menininkas

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Fear

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The Future Potential

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Mask

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The Divine Feminine

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Repetition

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Vaiva

Written by
v.paulauskaite

Nuclear Explosion of Thought I write, talk and philosophize about everything that is deemed taboo in our society

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Oct 4
Suluošintas menininkas
Aš esu įsitikinusi, kad kiekvienas, absoliučiai kiekvienas žmogus yra kūrybiškas. Kiekvienas žmogus yra meninkas. Tačiau daugelis mūsų, meninkų, esame neišgiję nuo dar vaikystėje įdiegtų ir visuomenėje paplitusių, baimę skatinančių įsitikinimų. Šie įsitikinimai yra universalūs, paplitę ne tik Lietuvoje, bet ir viso pasaulio dabartinėje visuomenėje. Jų pagrindas - baimė. Stipri ir dažniausiai nepagrįsta baimė. Baimė pradėti, baimė užbaigti ir baimė paviešinti savo darbus, o tuo labiau - klaida...
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Dec 6
First Dates
I love going on first dates. Quite frankly, it’s one of my favourite little adventures. The idea that I can become anyone I want to be, at least for a few hours, that I can create any character of my imagination, is incredibly fascinating. It’s a theatre play, it’s a dance, it’s a little silly game. I can never seem to take the experience seriously. I don’t even know what a ‘proper’ date is supposed to feel like. I know that if I meet a person and I can sense that they’re attracted to me and ...
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Nov 27
Two planes of existence
I am constantly living on two different planes of existence. I used to think that my brain was bipolar because I could hear opposing thoughts constantly running through my head. That was until I started meditating and reading spiritual texts. I realised, that within each of us, there is the human consciousness that is a product of our environment, our conditioning, our traumas and desires, our insecurities and our neurosis and there’s also the other type of consciousness which is spacious, no...
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Oct 25
Energetic vampires
Why do sometimes, when we meet people, we feel drained by ‘their energy’? Or in actuality, we deprive ourselves of the flow that is all there is. Let’s say, you meet up with a friend for a coffee and they start complaining about how much their work annoys them. Most of the time, what happens in these kinds of social interactions, is that the other person, who is listening to the complaints of their friend, will match their energy by remembering something that annoys them too. So now, you’ve g...
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Oct 25
The monster always escapes
The smell of cigarettes and alcohol on a sunny day when you’re hungover. Homeless people living in the streets in freezing weather. Underage girls selling their explicit pictures on the internet. The news. Why are we addicted to the horrors of this world? The precautionary tales. The tragedies. The losses. Who gave us the idea that it’s possible to prepare for an incident? Even more ridiculous, to prevent it? We feed off each other’s pain. If there were no laws No consequences And each of us ...
“Lost Generation”: The Disappearance of Cultural Identity in Post-colonial, Post-Soviet Lithuania.
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Oct 24
“Come, I will lead you in spirit towards a strange, misty, veiled, murmuring land. A beat of our wings, and we shall fly over a country where all things bear the dull colour of memory” (Miłosz, “Lithuania”, 1919, cited in Višomirskytė, 2014, p.172).1. IntroductionIn this dissertation I will be invoking on the research conducted by postcolonial researchers, historians, professors, philosophers and writers prioritising the voices from the Baltic states, who have had the closest ties to the issu...
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Oct 2
Fear
I thought these troubles long forgotten I thought myself as strong and brave. But lately, I've been feeling fearful of what is lingering within. No longer fear I of the dark, no spiders faze me nor do ghosts. Although a simple concept of forgetting is so much scarier than most. Can I remember what it felt to fall? My first, my second or my third time? To taste? To hurt? To ache? Each time repeated, forever changed. No longer fear I of the dead, nor angry. But GOD how scared I am that thi...
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Oct 2
Repetition
I know I'm digging a hole for myself. I step on the same rake twice. And you know what? I would do it again if that meant experiencing each as new. Because if I can look at the sun each morning as if I'm seeing it for the very first time in my life, I will choose that over and over again. So don't mind me repeating the same mistake over and over again if that's what it means to believe.
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Oct 2
Mask
I have a closet full of them It’s not a lie nor is it a deception. Each morning I put on a mask as I step out for an adventure. You’d be silly to think I am the same as I was yesterday. My thoughts already changed, and so did my emotions, I read the paper and met a stranger on the bus I got a haircut too. There’s nothing permanent in me in the same way a river is given a name having nothing constant in it. The water runs along the stream the fishes swim away and even the rocks at the bottom o...
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Oct 2
Language
I say I’m bilingual but to be honest with you, I forget all language, it simply slips through my fingertips, like sand. It reaches my tongue but crashes down without making a vibration or merely a sound. How come my body can feel something so deeply yet no words can define it sufficiently. By moulding it into form I kill the force of it the power the strength the liveliness. I make a mockery of the complexity of it. Reducing it in size and magnitude. Maybe the experience is worth sacrificing ...
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Sep 30
A Vision of the Future
Call me optimistic or call me naive but I have a vision of a future where people won’t have to bleed from wars they didn’t want to participate in. A vision where we will see each other as an extension of ourselves. And who would like to cut their own arm off? Perhaps I’m optimistic, perhaps I am naive but I believe that one day, we’ll treat our Mother Nature the way we treat our kids. With kindness, servitude and guard against all evils and harm. A vision which is communal, where excess is sh...
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Jun 15
Letting go of control (a meditation)
Another idea, not a new idea but one that I have been struggling to accept is about control. Being in control, feeling in control gives me and I’m sure many others - a sense of ease, a sense of predictability, a comfort zone. If I can control something, I feel powerful. I don’t need to face my vulnerable, soft self. I don’t need to expose my softness as a human being. If I can control something, that means that I’m strong, I have armour around me, I, at least for a moment, feel protected from...