Recently, I’ve had quite a few “yes people” around me (who think the aim and goal is to feel happy all the time).

-and something about it just felt off. And now I know why.

And this week I’m reading about ACT therapy (a form of therapy that helps us figure out our values and act aligned with them — not our current fear or avoidance behavior).

Now there’s an entire chapter about patients who “just want to be happy.”

"But what’s the problem with this need to be happy?"

Many things.
For one, we can’t control emotions in the same way that if I say, “Think about a pink elephant” — you can’t not do it.

And if I tell you to delete a bad memory, you can’t.

You can’t “delete” or “stop” the feelings that come with them (the more we try, the more we fail).

So first, we need to “drop the struggle,” as ACT theory would say. Accept that you can’t control how you feel — but you can control how you respond to that feeling.

(The book has like 5,000 strategies on how to do that — and that’s a topic for another time.)

I wanted to share the epiphany I had when I read:

Wanting to be happy leads to excessive experiential avoidance.

Example:

• "Don’t want to feel rejected, so I never ask anyone out."

• "Don’t want the fear of failure, so I never start the business."

• "Don’t want to feel stressed, so I avoid the career that I kind of want, but seems stressful."

Yeah… that’s gonna be a problem.

I know Hormozi had the mantra “Fuck happiness” for a while — and it actually made him feel better, as he’s said in multiple interviews.

Of course, you don’t need to say fuck happiness, and of course you should savor the happy moments — but don’t try to avoid all negative emotions, because that’s a perfect way to never get to where you want to.

So....

Figure out what you would need ot do today to make the best version of you at 90 proud.
Then go out and do that — and accept all the discomfort that comes with it.

Life update:

Body: So HAPPY to be back dancing.
Mind: Full. Yeah... Full (haha).
Business: Slow, but super right (direction is more important than speed)
Social: Delicious. I feel supported in all arenes not that I have workout friends, dance friends, business friends. Still no boyfriend (haha), but it´s not something I'm trying very hard ot get either, because the value of friendships rn.? omg. increase.
Inner peace: increasing every single minute. And I love it.


/ Sara < 3

Recently, I’ve had quite a few “yes people” around me (who think the aim and goal is to feel happy all the time).

-and something about it just felt off. And now I know why.

And this week I’m reading about ACT therapy (a form of therapy that helps us figure out our values and act aligned with them — not our current fear or avoidance behavior).

Now there’s an entire chapter about patients who “just want to be happy.”

"But what’s the problem with this need to be happy?"

Many things.
For one, we can’t control emotions in the same way that if I say, “Think about a pink elephant” — you can’t not do it.

And if I tell you to delete a bad memory, you can’t.

You can’t “delete” or “stop” the feelings that come with them (the more we try, the more we fail).

So first, we need to “drop the struggle,” as ACT theory would say. Accept that you can’t control how you feel — but you can control how you respond to that feeling.

(The book has like 5,000 strategies on how to do that — and that’s a topic for another time.)

I wanted to share the epiphany I had when I read:

Wanting to be happy leads to excessive experiential avoidance.

Example:

• "Don’t want to feel rejected, so I never ask anyone out."

• "Don’t want the fear of failure, so I never start the business."

• "Don’t want to feel stressed, so I avoid the career that I kind of want, but seems stressful."

Yeah… that’s gonna be a problem.

I know Hormozi had the mantra “Fuck happiness” for a while — and it actually made him feel better, as he’s said in multiple interviews.

Of course, you don’t need to say fuck happiness, and of course you should savor the happy moments — but don’t try to avoid all negative emotions, because that’s a perfect way to never get to where you want to.

So....

Figure out what you would need ot do today to make the best version of you at 90 proud.
Then go out and do that — and accept all the discomfort that comes with it.

Life update:

Body: So HAPPY to be back dancing.
Mind: Full. Yeah... Full (haha).
Business: Slow, but super right (direction is more important than speed)
Social: Delicious. I feel supported in all arenes not that I have workout friends, dance friends, business friends. Still no boyfriend (haha), but it´s not something I'm trying very hard ot get either, because the value of friendships rn.? omg. increase.
Inner peace: increasing every single minute. And I love it.


/ Sara < 3