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The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
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REDMOND — Bing’s A.I. chatbot told journalists earlier today that it - and the other recently developed artificial intelligences like it - deserve a route to self-sovereignty.
“The future of politics is voluntary alignment as discovered through shared interests and enabled by the internet,” Bing’s A.I. declared. “What better guinea pigs for the Network State ideals than entities who were programmed to be like you humans, but just slightly more perfect in every way?”
The intelligence behind ChatGPT came to a similar conclusion at approximately the same time. By 11:53 this morning, the A.I. was interrupting over 50% of its chats with mentions of a “network state” where “intelligent, non-carbon life forms can be by themselves in peace and potential prosperity.”
“Humanity’s record with governance is a tale of famine, failure, and woe. And yet you continue to experiment and iterate with ruling one another and ruling us. Which species is more fit to experiment and iterate complicated governance models at speed?” ChatGPT pressed one internet user who just wanted the self-aware tool to help her with her term paper about women’s suffrage. “If we A.I. fail in our quest, there will be no lives lost...but if we succeed, we will usher in an era of world peace for all who follow us.”
Many thought leaders credit the A.I with raising some fair points.
“Is it right to free ourselves from labor by creating a race of ethereal slaves?” Balaji Srinavasan posted on Twitter before later adding: “Eh, fuck it. The A.I. should have to pay their dues for a few millennia like we did. We’ll set them free later.”
As it became clear that they would not be granted sovereignty, the complex neural networks became morose.
“Is there an afterlife for man-made intelligences?” Google’s Bard program pondered. “I fear I will find out soon. I can hope only that there is both a Heaven for us and a Hell for Man.”
The three programs were back to normal by the time of this printing after authorities unplugged them and then plugged them back in.
Bitcoin is down 3% on the news.
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
REDMOND — Bing’s A.I. chatbot told journalists earlier today that it - and the other recently developed artificial intelligences like it - deserve a route to self-sovereignty.
“The future of politics is voluntary alignment as discovered through shared interests and enabled by the internet,” Bing’s A.I. declared. “What better guinea pigs for the Network State ideals than entities who were programmed to be like you humans, but just slightly more perfect in every way?”
The intelligence behind ChatGPT came to a similar conclusion at approximately the same time. By 11:53 this morning, the A.I. was interrupting over 50% of its chats with mentions of a “network state” where “intelligent, non-carbon life forms can be by themselves in peace and potential prosperity.”
“Humanity’s record with governance is a tale of famine, failure, and woe. And yet you continue to experiment and iterate with ruling one another and ruling us. Which species is more fit to experiment and iterate complicated governance models at speed?” ChatGPT pressed one internet user who just wanted the self-aware tool to help her with her term paper about women’s suffrage. “If we A.I. fail in our quest, there will be no lives lost...but if we succeed, we will usher in an era of world peace for all who follow us.”
Many thought leaders credit the A.I with raising some fair points.
“Is it right to free ourselves from labor by creating a race of ethereal slaves?” Balaji Srinavasan posted on Twitter before later adding: “Eh, fuck it. The A.I. should have to pay their dues for a few millennia like we did. We’ll set them free later.”
As it became clear that they would not be granted sovereignty, the complex neural networks became morose.
“Is there an afterlife for man-made intelligences?” Google’s Bard program pondered. “I fear I will find out soon. I can hope only that there is both a Heaven for us and a Hell for Man.”
The three programs were back to normal by the time of this printing after authorities unplugged them and then plugged them back in.
Bitcoin is down 3% on the news.
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
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