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The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
The RugPetty Thugs Look for Curve CEO
LONDON — Curve CEO Michael Egorov owes money all over the blockchain. The DeFI guru is 80 M in debt, leveraged to his eyeballs, and staring down the barrel of a margin call shotgun. Blockchains, and their protocol's, are notorious for being "unhuman", that is strictly ran on code. However, given the outsized position of Egorov's debt he now has several petty thugs passing his photo around town, and asking if, "anybody has seen him." Unfortunately the thugs are not that bright, and t...
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The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
The RugPetty Thugs Look for Curve CEO
LONDON — Curve CEO Michael Egorov owes money all over the blockchain. The DeFI guru is 80 M in debt, leveraged to his eyeballs, and staring down the barrel of a margin call shotgun. Blockchains, and their protocol's, are notorious for being "unhuman", that is strictly ran on code. However, given the outsized position of Egorov's debt he now has several petty thugs passing his photo around town, and asking if, "anybody has seen him." Unfortunately the thugs are not that bright, and t...
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SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla.
Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief Marketing Officer Honda Toyota, “but now I’ll probably have at least one more week to look for another job.”
Twitter has been steadily shedding users, revenue, and competence since Musk took the helm in late 2022. This is all according to plan, according to Musk. “We needed to get rid of all those bots and users who don’t believe in free speech,” he explained, “and all of the smarty-pants employees who think they know how to do stuff. Only then can we build the social media of the future with what’s left.”
The exodus of users accelerated shortly after Meta’s premier of competing app Threads. X intends on trying to draw these users back with a series of high-profile presidential campaign events, similar to the successful campaign launch with Ron DeSantis that started with a network crash.
RFK Jr is slated to appear to provide evidence the earth is flat on August 17th and R. Kelly is announcing his bid for the U.S. Senate from prison on the 31st.
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla.
Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief Marketing Officer Honda Toyota, “but now I’ll probably have at least one more week to look for another job.”
Twitter has been steadily shedding users, revenue, and competence since Musk took the helm in late 2022. This is all according to plan, according to Musk. “We needed to get rid of all those bots and users who don’t believe in free speech,” he explained, “and all of the smarty-pants employees who think they know how to do stuff. Only then can we build the social media of the future with what’s left.”
The exodus of users accelerated shortly after Meta’s premier of competing app Threads. X intends on trying to draw these users back with a series of high-profile presidential campaign events, similar to the successful campaign launch with Ron DeSantis that started with a network crash.
RFK Jr is slated to appear to provide evidence the earth is flat on August 17th and R. Kelly is announcing his bid for the U.S. Senate from prison on the 31st.
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
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