
Mom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...

Twitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...

Petty Thugs Look for Curve CEO
LONDON — Curve CEO Michael Egorov owes money all over the blockchain. The DeFI guru is 80 M in debt, leveraged to his eyeballs, and staring down the barrel of a margin call shotgun. Blockchains, and their protocol's, are notorious for being "unhuman", that is strictly ran on code. However, given the outsized position of Egorov's debt he now has several petty thugs passing his photo around town, and asking if, "anybody has seen him." Unfortunately the thugs are not that bright, and t...
>300 subscribers

Mom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...

Twitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...

Petty Thugs Look for Curve CEO
LONDON — Curve CEO Michael Egorov owes money all over the blockchain. The DeFI guru is 80 M in debt, leveraged to his eyeballs, and staring down the barrel of a margin call shotgun. Blockchains, and their protocol's, are notorious for being "unhuman", that is strictly ran on code. However, given the outsized position of Egorov's debt he now has several petty thugs passing his photo around town, and asking if, "anybody has seen him." Unfortunately the thugs are not that bright, and t...
Share Dialog
Share Dialog


EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.

Despite all the allegations of extraterrestrial speculation, “cryptomar” or what astronomers are calling, Nomen Nescio Stella Eratica, which is Latin for unnamed wandering star, is a real thing.
“What the internet is calling Cryptomar is surprisingly full of rich gas, the kind that would be very expensive here on earth due to its high octane levels, almost prohibitively expensive to use for any type of regular movement,” noted Kentucky State Astronomer Vladamir Kochin. “We also have reason to believe that it may produce rare minerals like diamonds, gold, and silver.”
One reddit thread commented that much like how the moon has a rabbit that appears in a shaded form upon its surface, cryptomar has what appears to be a unicorn. This coupled with the unicorn apparel Vitalik is known for adorning only further stoked the conspiratorial fire.

In a surprisingly opaque and purposefully vague statement Vitalik responded to a tweet asking if he was from Cryptomar with the unicorn emoji and a smiley face. If the rising ethereum star is actually from another planet it doesn’t seem reasonable to believe that he’d be so forthcoming about it, as it would open him up to tons of government testing, questions, interrogations, and the inability for him to play Halo and eat twizzlers at his own leisure.
At the time of this publication over 50 meme coins with variations on the name Cryptomar have been minted as ERC-20 tokens.
Ethereum is up 7% on the news.
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.

Despite all the allegations of extraterrestrial speculation, “cryptomar” or what astronomers are calling, Nomen Nescio Stella Eratica, which is Latin for unnamed wandering star, is a real thing.
“What the internet is calling Cryptomar is surprisingly full of rich gas, the kind that would be very expensive here on earth due to its high octane levels, almost prohibitively expensive to use for any type of regular movement,” noted Kentucky State Astronomer Vladamir Kochin. “We also have reason to believe that it may produce rare minerals like diamonds, gold, and silver.”
One reddit thread commented that much like how the moon has a rabbit that appears in a shaded form upon its surface, cryptomar has what appears to be a unicorn. This coupled with the unicorn apparel Vitalik is known for adorning only further stoked the conspiratorial fire.

In a surprisingly opaque and purposefully vague statement Vitalik responded to a tweet asking if he was from Cryptomar with the unicorn emoji and a smiley face. If the rising ethereum star is actually from another planet it doesn’t seem reasonable to believe that he’d be so forthcoming about it, as it would open him up to tons of government testing, questions, interrogations, and the inability for him to play Halo and eat twizzlers at his own leisure.
At the time of this publication over 50 meme coins with variations on the name Cryptomar have been minted as ERC-20 tokens.
Ethereum is up 7% on the news.
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
No comments yet