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The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
The RugPetty Thugs Look for Curve CEO
LONDON — Curve CEO Michael Egorov owes money all over the blockchain. The DeFI guru is 80 M in debt, leveraged to his eyeballs, and staring down the barrel of a margin call shotgun. Blockchains, and their protocol's, are notorious for being "unhuman", that is strictly ran on code. However, given the outsized position of Egorov's debt he now has several petty thugs passing his photo around town, and asking if, "anybody has seen him." Unfortunately the thugs are not that bright, and t...
>300 subscribers
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
The RugPetty Thugs Look for Curve CEO
LONDON — Curve CEO Michael Egorov owes money all over the blockchain. The DeFI guru is 80 M in debt, leveraged to his eyeballs, and staring down the barrel of a margin call shotgun. Blockchains, and their protocol's, are notorious for being "unhuman", that is strictly ran on code. However, given the outsized position of Egorov's debt he now has several petty thugs passing his photo around town, and asking if, "anybody has seen him." Unfortunately the thugs are not that bright, and t...
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GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis.
Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.”
Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were excited about joining FerretDAO. The mission, as you explained, was to raise crypto to be spent on ferret manis and pedis. “Ferrets are cute and need nail care too,” your mom replied, “but I don’t understand what that has to do with Daoism.”
Discussions with your father have only been marginally more successful. Last time you spoke to him, he asked, “So what is it about a smart contract that makes it so smart?” Excited that he asked a good question, you went on to explain how a smart contract is “smart” since it automates a particular transaction type via code embedded on a blockchain. In response, your dad said, “So…how about that NBA draft?”
Just when resigned yourself to never discuss crypto with your family again, your grandma sent you a text. It read, “Still bullish on BTC, SEC can go to hell.” Before you can process her understanding of the space, previously unknown to you, she sends a second text:
“Prolly gonna HODL my DOGE, dump the CEL. Thoughts?”
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis.
Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.”
Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were excited about joining FerretDAO. The mission, as you explained, was to raise crypto to be spent on ferret manis and pedis. “Ferrets are cute and need nail care too,” your mom replied, “but I don’t understand what that has to do with Daoism.”
Discussions with your father have only been marginally more successful. Last time you spoke to him, he asked, “So what is it about a smart contract that makes it so smart?” Excited that he asked a good question, you went on to explain how a smart contract is “smart” since it automates a particular transaction type via code embedded on a blockchain. In response, your dad said, “So…how about that NBA draft?”
Just when resigned yourself to never discuss crypto with your family again, your grandma sent you a text. It read, “Still bullish on BTC, SEC can go to hell.” Before you can process her understanding of the space, previously unknown to you, she sends a second text:
“Prolly gonna HODL my DOGE, dump the CEL. Thoughts?”
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
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