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The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
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The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
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SAN FRANCISCO — Last week, Coinbase was given a Wells notice from the SEC. The Wells notice claimed that Coinbase is being too responsible an actor in the crypto space.
“We don’t like it when we can’t figure out what a company is doing wrong,” explained Gary Gensler, Chairman of the SEC. “Are they committing securities fraud? I don’t have any evidence of that, but I would not be doing my job as a regulator if I didn’t try to figure out what I can stop them from doing.”
Coinbase, since its founding in May of 2012, has very boringly provided basic crypto services and protected their user’s deposits. Coinbase is known for its high level of compliance with US laws (to that extent that such laws governing crypto can be known). In contrast, former crypto exchange, FTX, was given nary a warning by the SEC, due to playing fast and loose and actively bribing politicians.
“FTX was not a responsible company in any sense of the word,” said Gensler. “We knew exactly where we stood with them. Where are Coinbase’s funny Superbowl commercials? Where are their celebrity endorsements? Why can’t they be more like FTX? I mean, except for the ponzi thing, of course.”
When asked if he thought the SEC failed to properly protect the public from FTX, Gensler smiled and shrugged, and then excused himself so he could get back to work on his TikTok dance about how tokens are securities.
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
SAN FRANCISCO — Last week, Coinbase was given a Wells notice from the SEC. The Wells notice claimed that Coinbase is being too responsible an actor in the crypto space.
“We don’t like it when we can’t figure out what a company is doing wrong,” explained Gary Gensler, Chairman of the SEC. “Are they committing securities fraud? I don’t have any evidence of that, but I would not be doing my job as a regulator if I didn’t try to figure out what I can stop them from doing.”
Coinbase, since its founding in May of 2012, has very boringly provided basic crypto services and protected their user’s deposits. Coinbase is known for its high level of compliance with US laws (to that extent that such laws governing crypto can be known). In contrast, former crypto exchange, FTX, was given nary a warning by the SEC, due to playing fast and loose and actively bribing politicians.
“FTX was not a responsible company in any sense of the word,” said Gensler. “We knew exactly where we stood with them. Where are Coinbase’s funny Superbowl commercials? Where are their celebrity endorsements? Why can’t they be more like FTX? I mean, except for the ponzi thing, of course.”
When asked if he thought the SEC failed to properly protect the public from FTX, Gensler smiled and shrugged, and then excused himself so he could get back to work on his TikTok dance about how tokens are securities.
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
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