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The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
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RAINIER NATIONAL PARK — Infamous cryptozoologist claims his blurry NFT photo depicts Bigfoot. In a not-highly attended press meeting yesterday in Washington state, Zander Korcheck displayed his NFT of the purported bipedal phenomenon to a group of neigh-sayers. Korcheck said, "This NFT goes by many names, Sasquatch, Abominable Snowman, Bigfoot, Yeti."
One reporter raised their hand and said, "While we have no trouble believing you may have captured the only known evidence for this mythical and fantastical creature, why does it cost so much in ethereum?"
The cryptozoologist tried to explain to the thinning crowd that the provenance of the NFT entitled only a select amount of people to own it.
"But can't we just save it on our phones. Look I've already got your picture." One modestly dressed woman raised her phone out of her purse and proudly displayed the rare alleged photo of Bigfoot taken in Washington state last weekend.
"No, no, no, you don't understand. This is unique proof-of-ownership on a blockchain." Korcheck attempted to cajole the crowd to see it his way.
One slightly angered outdoorsman stood up and stated, "Look Korcheck, we believe you saw the damn ape walking around, even though the photo wasn't that great. Hell we all seen it! But what we can't abide is you waltzing in here and telling me I gotta buy a JPG from you for 2,000 dollars!" The man spat on the ground forgetting he was in a conference room. The crowd rumbled in agreement.
"But you guys, there are only twenty unique versions of this ultra-rare image of bigfoot," Korcheck said and his voice faded away, as a room full of Bigfoot believers grumbled and shuffled their way outdoors, back into the mystery of the realm.
If you want more of the hardest hitting headlines sent straight to your inbox subscribe to The Rug’s Newsletter.
RAINIER NATIONAL PARK — Infamous cryptozoologist claims his blurry NFT photo depicts Bigfoot. In a not-highly attended press meeting yesterday in Washington state, Zander Korcheck displayed his NFT of the purported bipedal phenomenon to a group of neigh-sayers. Korcheck said, "This NFT goes by many names, Sasquatch, Abominable Snowman, Bigfoot, Yeti."
One reporter raised their hand and said, "While we have no trouble believing you may have captured the only known evidence for this mythical and fantastical creature, why does it cost so much in ethereum?"
The cryptozoologist tried to explain to the thinning crowd that the provenance of the NFT entitled only a select amount of people to own it.
"But can't we just save it on our phones. Look I've already got your picture." One modestly dressed woman raised her phone out of her purse and proudly displayed the rare alleged photo of Bigfoot taken in Washington state last weekend.
"No, no, no, you don't understand. This is unique proof-of-ownership on a blockchain." Korcheck attempted to cajole the crowd to see it his way.
One slightly angered outdoorsman stood up and stated, "Look Korcheck, we believe you saw the damn ape walking around, even though the photo wasn't that great. Hell we all seen it! But what we can't abide is you waltzing in here and telling me I gotta buy a JPG from you for 2,000 dollars!" The man spat on the ground forgetting he was in a conference room. The crowd rumbled in agreement.
"But you guys, there are only twenty unique versions of this ultra-rare image of bigfoot," Korcheck said and his voice faded away, as a room full of Bigfoot believers grumbled and shuffled their way outdoors, back into the mystery of the realm.
If you want more of the hardest hitting headlines sent straight to your inbox subscribe to The Rug’s Newsletter.
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